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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think Dh should have told the old bag to 'call the police then......................'

143 replies

OnTheWayToASmallerButt · 16/02/2009 17:27

DH parks his car in a road at the back of our house (as he can then take a short cut to the motorway which cuts 10 mins off his journey, more if traffic is heavy) and has been getting grief off an old hag who has an issue with him parking in 'her' road (it is a public road BTW). Shouting at him, nasty letters on windscreen and today she threatened to call the police .

The road has very few cars parked in it as it is full of bungalows for the elderly and not many of them seem to drive and where DH parks, there are normally 4 or 5 other spaces along that stretch of road. This elderly hag lady does not have a car so he is not taking 'her' space (and obviously therefore does not pay roadtax) but she says he is taking a space that she may need for her relatives if they come to visit! I could understand it if the road was choc a block and she had a car . When she said she was going to call the police, he just walked off but I told him that he should have told her to go ahead and waited while she did and they laughed at her (am assuming this is not a criminal offence).

Makes me furious that this woman accosts him every time he comes home from work. Why should he stop parking there? I was taught to respect the elderly but she takes the biscuit!!

OP posts:
mshadowsisfab · 16/02/2009 18:09

when I said his road, I maeant the one he lives in

OnTheWayToASmallerButt · 16/02/2009 18:10

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barbarapym · 16/02/2009 18:14

Parking really gets people going. Where we live I would love to be able to park within 25 yards of our house - nine times out of ten it's full of people's cars from the flats on the main road with no parking at all. They've got no choice but I still find it annoying. I think the op's dh is perfectly within his rights, but I can also see why the woman is cheesed off. Possibly she hasn't got much else to think about so gets a bit obsessed. I used to have to park in the cul-de-sac at the end of our old road occasionally if parking was tight, and every time a non-car-owning old lady used to come and stand at her door with her arms folded, even though I was struggling with baby and toddler and obviously wasn't doing it for my own convenience.

mayorquimby · 16/02/2009 18:16

"Even if she IS being an unreasonable old lady, it doesn't excuse the OP's attitude towards her.
"

which is why i said i saw the why some would be offended, but s far we have no exampple of the husband being rude so can only go opn what we know.

"Should we all go and park in someone elses street and outside their house to save us 10 minutes from our journey?"
but that's the thing, it's not someone elses street. it's a public road, which someone else happens to live beside. the two are completely unconnected in terms of ownership or rights.
and this isn't a case of manners, this is a case of someone (the old woman in this scenatio) trying to dictate what someone can and can not do, that simply wouldn't be tolerated in any other walk of life, but somehow peole have come to think of the public road outside their house as their personal property which it simply is not.
so yes if you are happy to park away from your house as you think it will save you time on your journey then do it, after all you are paying for that road.

"also there is a troop of childminders who come to the nearby toddler group and park blocking access to the dropped kerb, blocking access to people's garages and generally being a nuisance and getting incredibly rude and abusive when asked to move.
"

that is completely different though as it is blocking access and interfering with peoples use of their property and parking illegally.
parking legally on a public road in no way interferes with a persons enjoyment of their property, unless the interference is self imposed (i.e. getting worked up about something which you have no right to be upset over)

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 16/02/2009 18:16

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Boco · 16/02/2009 18:19

It's obviously making this woman very cross, and that's making you very cross, so it doesn't sound like it's really worth it does it? Some people are unreasonable, and rude, it's a pity, but as it's just going to go on and on, sounds like it'd be easier to just find a different space rather than wind each other up.

tengreenbottles · 16/02/2009 18:19

im sorry but elderly people are not a different species from the rest of us not yet quite elderly , if she is being rude and excessively obnoxious it MAY be because she just is rude and always has been . I love the fact that if you are lucky enough to get old in this country you are allowed to be vile to whomever you choose and people will spring to your defence simply because our '85 you know' .

GypsyMoth · 16/02/2009 18:25

In my experience (ex police officer) elderly people can be the rudest and nastiest in our society. They also refuse to budge in their ways of thinking
If you are parking properly, then continue to do so. You pay your road tax don't you? Then no offence.

bamboobutton · 16/02/2009 18:27

unless it is a clearly marked private road he is well within his right to park there.

we have a woman who goes crazy if you even pull up and drop someone off outside her house.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 16/02/2009 18:30

Sorry but I can see where the OP is coming from, her Dh has paid road tax and is entitled to park (within reason) on the public highway.

FWIW My gran is like this ( don't think she approaches people just mutters and glares) She does not own a car and has a double driveway!

She gets very low tolerance on her complaints from us, she does not have car has no need for the space, but 'enjoys' fixating on the issue!!

If I was my Dgrandma's neighbour I would most certainly think she was cantankerous at best and possibly an old hag if I'd just had a run in.

The OP's dh did not enter into a disagreement with her, and FWIW I think continuing with this course of action is the best ( why should he be forced to drive for a further 10 mins each day!) She may already be known to the police!!!

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 16/02/2009 18:32

I think maybe there needs to be a public information campaign informing people that they don't own the spaces outside their own houses.

There's something so.... Hyacinth Bucket about getting worked up about someone else parking in your road. I just find that strange tbh.

GrapefruitMoon · 16/02/2009 18:34

Ime, the people who are precious about the public highway outside their houses generally live in the suburbs/with plenty of off-street parking. There is no off-street parking in my area and it is a relief to find a space anywhere on the road, it would just not be feasible to only park outside your own house. I just hope I never have to move to an area where people get so would up about a strange car parked within sight of their property

Sassybeast · 16/02/2009 18:42

So your husband takes pleasure from deliberately upsetting an elderly lady? He sounds like a prat to me And I suspect that the police would think the same and have a good laugh at his expense....

Ashantai · 16/02/2009 18:51

Where does it say that her OH is taking pleasure at upsetting this woman?

Frankly he has the patience of a saint not retaliating to her shouting at him, sticking notes on his windscreen and threatening to call the police.

fledtoscotland · 16/02/2009 18:52

i can sort of see both sides tbh. a neighbours friend parked outside our house for weeks on end. we are in a cul de sac and although we have a driveway for both cars, i hated looking out on their car day after day. we have residents/visitors parking spaces round the corner so politely asked him to park there which he does now no probs.

however, i was nice about it and got a pleasant response. if i had threatened to call the police, well, they would just have laughed as its a public road.

the old lady is quite probably p'eed off about it like i was but has just gone about it the wrong way

Tamarto · 16/02/2009 19:00

There is no need to park right outside anyones house, just off to the side means a taxi can drop her at her own door etc etc.

Our neighbour used to park outside our house all the time, they could have parked outside their own but chose not to

It causes a serious PITA when you have to walk half a mile (slight exageration) with loads of shopping bags, when in-laws were dropping things off etc.

It's different if the roads are busy, but OP said it wasn't. Why be inconsiderate and park right outside hers or anyone elses in the street?

mshadowsisfab · 16/02/2009 19:02

maybe the old dear is worried that if she or one of her neighbours is taken Ill an ambulance would not be able to pak an get to them.

Mercy · 16/02/2009 19:09

lol at elderly people being the nastiest and rudest people in society.

Hell's Grannies indeed

GypsyMoth · 16/02/2009 19:10

Ambulances can deliver equipment up ten flights of stairs if necessary,why on earth would the paramedics not be able to access her bungalow? They can just park in the road in an emergency. Or over the road, or to the side.
This sweet little old lady (not) probably enjoys hovering at her net curtains waiting for her daily chastisment of the op's hardworking dh,it's quite possibly the
highlight of her day!

OnTheWayToASmallerButt · 16/02/2009 19:14

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Mercy · 16/02/2009 19:18

Whatever

BlueAeroplane · 16/02/2009 19:19

I pity you.

Kimi · 16/02/2009 19:21

I could understand if he was taking her parking space, but you say she has no car, so as he pays road tax he can park where he likes.

She sounds a bit nutty,

bamboobutton · 16/02/2009 19:22

i would just ignore her, unless she resorts to physically attacking your dh or damaging his car, then you can go to the police.

smurfgirl · 16/02/2009 19:32

Lots of odd people not liking cars outside their house. I live in a road of terraced houses with no parking - we have cars in front of our house, opposite our house, oh in fact all the way along our street on both sides. People are a bit sad to be annoyed by this (unless it blocks access), its a public road.

I would like a drive way for our next house but will not be upset if someone parks outside my house, the cars have to go somewhere.