to think that 'getting engaged' is a means to an end not an end in itself?

[MrsSeanBean]

increasingly, I am noticing that acquainances (mainly via FB) seem to announce, proudly, that they are 'getting engaged', but with no plans for any wedding.

Am I BU, or maybe old fashioned, to think this is a very illogical thing to do if you have no plans to marry?

I also think 'long engagements' are odd - ie, "yeah... we're getting married.... in 2012" - ?!
Surely, an engagement is just the period between acceptance of a proposal and the arrangement of a wedding, which takes 6 months maximum.

We didn't get engaged. Got married 6 weeks after we met, so didn't really have time. However, it is fairly 'traditional' to get engaged while you save up for a house, trousseau etc so long engagements have been the norm for the last few centuries.

Oh Mila, you're not going to stretch to a unicorn? That's a bit tight

how funny, I was just reading the post nodding and agreeing that long engagements are a bit stupid.
And then realised that dh and I were engaged for 6 years before we got married!!!

We always knew we would get married but as other people said on this post, we both really wanted a church wedding, both our families there (so around 120 people, we come from big families who are all close), most importantly we were saving for a house and wanted to buy it first, then get married.

It was a nice way to be officially committed to eachother I guess, it just felt right and it was really nice to introduce dh as my "fiance" rather than "boyfriend".

We did not have have an engagement party either.

Once we bought the house and moved in we got married 6 months later and had the most special day with all our family and friends, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I was engaged for 3mo but we hadn't even set a date (for various reasons) when I called it off. I was all for arranging the wedding and started talking about on our way home but ex-dp started disapproving of some aspects I mentioned (which wasn't a huge church or reception in a expensive hotel ) plus he had some things to do himself that he blankly refused to sort. The most important one didn't happen so I said it was a farce pretending to be engaged and called it off.

I probably wouldn't bother again.

When dh and I got engaged, both mothers insisted the "announcement" went in the local rag. (my dad worked there and got discount). Thankfully we convinced them that an engagement party wasn't our thing.

Anyway we got married 9 months later in a registry office much to my mil disgust.

I don't see the point of a church wedding if you don't go.

Oh gawd. Totally agree. My best friend is thrilled to be engaged and doesn't seem to link marriage with engagement at all. It's all about the ring imo.

Also, her DP proposed because she basically told him to.

I just don't get it. I think that for many intelligent women, the thought of diamonds, white dresses etc are the equivalent of brain melting drugs. They turn the most rational of people into blithering idiots.

WHY OH WHY OH WHY etc etc...

I don't think dh and I even announced our engagement. One day, I started wearing a big sparkly ring on my ring finger and people noticed.

We were married in easy style within 6 months.