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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For shouting at woman in the supermarket?

138 replies

JustWantToWalkOut · 12/02/2009 22:47

I was in the queue at asda earlier having already had a tiring and stressful day. I just wanted to go home and relax. So I put everything on the conveyor belt and as it's going through I remembered something else I needed. I knew I would be able to get out of the house tomorow so I apologised and made a dash to get it. The women behind me in the queue tutted loudly and looked at her watch

Then one of my items didn't have a barcode so they had to phone through and get someone to check it. Woman behind me is getting increasingly angry.

When that was sorted I began having trouble packing as everything was just piling up in the bagging area and our Asda have a new policy of only giving you new bags when they think you can't fit anything else in the ones you have so everything was just falling all over. The woman behind me starts muttering "for gods sake" and shifting her weight from foot to foot, winding herself up.

Then when I went to pay, the card wouldn't work. First two times it said "card not accepted", we wiped it, blew on it etc etc...woman behind is practically exploding...and then finally on the 3rd attempt it accepts the card but I accidently put the wrong pin number in. So took it out, put it in again "card not accepted" tried again and FINALLY it got accepted and accepted the pin ok.

So, I'm just packing the remainders of my shopping and bitch woman behind me marches up, scoops all my stuff up and just throws it all in the trolley and said "times up, soz" my eggs were broken in the process.

A big argument erupted which I'm not proud of but the woman behind the till said she didn't blame me for saying something.

But I HATE confrontation and now feel like shit

Would you have reacted in the same way or should I have let it go to save a row?

OP posts:
twentypence · 13/02/2009 08:43

No, you were not unreasonable you only shouted after she assaulted your shopping.

MrsSeanBean · 13/02/2009 08:44

M&S near me has started a range of 'Wise Buys', their answer to 'value' range I think. But it's just selected normal stuff with a little sticker popped on it to highlight their more reasonably priced offerings, quite clever really.

Penthesileia · 13/02/2009 08:51

YANBU. How rude!

Why do people tut and make a fuss about queueing in supermarkets? It's the pedestrian equivalent of speeding to overtake someone about 100m from the lights and then they change to red... Even if someone goes super fast or super slow, you're talking a few more minutes - it's not the end of the world.

I don't get it.

If you're so late for your next errand or task that you need super-speed, it's your fault, not the person in front of you...

fishie · 13/02/2009 09:01

come back op i want to know about the EGGS. did they give you more eggs?

wotulookinat · 13/02/2009 09:16

YANBU. What an awful woman. I would have wound her up even more by packing REALLY slowly, but god knows how much worse her reaction would have been then.
Remember, it's her problem. Sounds like she was having a much worse day than you and made herself look like an utter bitch.

RedFraggle · 13/02/2009 09:35

So not being unreasonable! She was a bitch and I probably would have wiped some of the broken egg on her hair.... I am excellent at not eggscalating situations

I want to know what happened with the eggs though? Did ASDA get you some for free? Did they make her pay? Please, please tell me you didn't pay for more!

Must know, must find out! Must know, must find out! (to be chanted in the manner of a small child)

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helen31 · 13/02/2009 09:44

YANBU - what a total nightmare. The only bit that would get me was the running to fetch something else, but so long as it was no more than 1 or 2 items, I don't have a problem with that. I was in M&S the other day and two totally selfish cows women joined the queue and then more than doubled the amounts they had on the conveyor by taking it in turns to go off and fetch more stuff. I was 36 weeks at time, so after the 5th sorry and squeezing past me, I was muttering mutinously to my DH "if they were really sorry they'd stop doing it". Gotta love that passive agression. But that wasn't what you were doing at all. I would have felt bad for you, obviously having a rubbish time.

I also want to know what happened about the eggs! My advice - internet shopping. I'm a regular user of both Ocado and Sainsbury's home delivery and my experience with them has been wonderful. BTW, a dispute in a queue in our local Sainsbury's ended up with a man dead - what is wrong with people?!

But about those eggs?

Helen31 · 13/02/2009 09:46

Oops, haven't worked out how to do strike out yet.

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stayingsunnygirl · 13/02/2009 10:07

You're definitely not being unreasonable. Going to fetch a forgotten item didn't delay things at all - in fact it would have delayed things far more if you'd waited and asked the checkout girl to send someone for it.

I'd have gone ballistic and insisted she pay for the broken eggs.

starbear · 13/02/2009 10:11

These people will be struck down by the hand of god. They will leave things in places and then move them then not remember where they put the thing with a paper raffa thing on the end,they will only remember where they put them last, next to the washing machine or was it in the front room. AND revenge will be complete

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 13/02/2009 10:24

Starbear, that is quite possibly the best post i have ever read in AIBU.

loobeylou · 13/02/2009 10:24

Did they call security over to remove this woman? How awful of her - what happened about the eggs?

I once saw a customer hit on the head with a french stick - because her trolley accidentally hit someone when THEY stepped backwards into its path, and the lady with the trolley apologised very politely, but was hit on the head for her trouble. Another customer grabs me and says, er I think you should call security!.

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starbear · 13/02/2009 10:28

drankthechristmasspirits I THANK YOU (Drum roll and tish!) I'm bored and it thanks to a bit in life of Brian. Glad I brought a little simple joy.

Sawyer64 · 13/02/2009 10:32

Think she was very rude and went way over the top.

Saying that, I am embarrassed to admit have got a little cross (for different reasons) when the checkout girl seems really really slow,and I am in a rush for a school run etc.

But at the end of the day,if I haven't got time to be patient and wait quietly I shouldn't be in there in the first place really

mistlethrush · 13/02/2009 10:36

I've been standing in a checkout queue with all my things on the belt, but not yet going through and been pushed by the trolley of the person behind me. I thought that they couldn't have realised that they'd banged into me - so gently leaned back on the trolley to regain the position I was in before being hit - I got shouted at and had the trolley banged into me again for that! . Luckily, at that point they realised I had dh with me so it didn't go any further!!!

MuppetsMuggle · 13/02/2009 10:43

thats terrible, i would of asked for new eggs.

However, i am guilty for tutting in the queue a couple of weeks ago an older couple had all there shopping put through the checkout, but about 20 we stood standing around because she wasn't happy about the price of wines she brought. ( I was ill with a chest infection and cold, DP was on course in london) so i had to shop. so feeling ill, I was getting very impatient and once she had been proved the prices were right, everything had to be voided (she wouldn't go to customer services). I was at the point of collapsing, i said something - know i shouldn't have - but she didn't even apologise for pissing about!

Bathsheba · 13/02/2009 10:44

She was absolutwly horrible to you, but always remember SHE might have had a far far more horrible day than you, and it did seem like EVERYTHING you did was taking a huge long time (even if it wasn't your fault)...

Again, imagine it from the other side - imagine a post on here from someone who had a horrible day, some bad news on the phone, was about to go home when they realised they were missing something vital, stopped in at the supermarket before going home to their 3 kids, and there was this floaty woman in the queue in front taking ages and ages to do everything,a dn then floating off to get things they forgot, and then taking 3 attempts at the chip and pin reader, and packing things SO SO SO slowly...

Yes, she was completely out of order and horrible to you, and it would have upset me for days too, but she must have had a horrible, horrible day to behave like that towards you and should be pitied so much

longhardlookinthemirror · 13/02/2009 11:30

Bathsheba - No matter how horrible a day I was having, I would never behave that way!

Damn rude if you ask me...Where are peoples manners and why is everyone always in such a rush?!!!

Nekabu · 13/02/2009 11:30

I do think I would have been getting a bit cheesed with your endless Saga at the Checkout but to actually hurl your shopping in your trolley like that?! I think you were quite right to have ticked her off for her lack of manners.

Original poster
JustWantToWalkOut · 13/02/2009 11:36

Thanks for the messages of support yesterday. I have calmed down now and see you all want to know what happened to the eggs?

well.....

not telling!

Oh, ok... Asda replaced them. After the nutter threw my shopping in the trolley I said "what the hell are you doing?!" so she said "you're not the only person in here you know!! selfish cow!" so I said "neither are you, silly little girl"

so anyway, she carried on ffing and blinding, the poor shop assistant called the manager who came across. They refused to serve her in the end and she left her trolley full of stuff in the middle of the checkout and stormed out saying she was making an official complaint

The worst bit about it was that she had a child with her, about 9 years old who looked really uncomfortable and embarrassed.

OP posts:
MaplePecanPlait · 13/02/2009 11:39

I think I would have been quite frightened by her physical reaction (ie throwing my shopping around).

Fear of injury = an assault in my dim and distant memory of criminal law? She wasn't far from it.

It was poor behaviour and no matter how stressed anyone is they need to exercise some self control. Even the tutting and sighing would be seen as a little aggressive and impatient in my view.

Can you tell us exactly what you said to her?

BigGitDad · 13/02/2009 11:41

Bathsheba, how do you know the other person must have had a shitty day? They may have just been a complete arse. Some people are like that and we in the rest of society have to put up with them.

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