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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For shouting at woman in the supermarket?

138 replies

JustWantToWalkOut · 12/02/2009 22:47

I was in the queue at asda earlier having already had a tiring and stressful day. I just wanted to go home and relax. So I put everything on the conveyor belt and as it's going through I remembered something else I needed. I knew I would be able to get out of the house tomorow so I apologised and made a dash to get it. The women behind me in the queue tutted loudly and looked at her watch

Then one of my items didn't have a barcode so they had to phone through and get someone to check it. Woman behind me is getting increasingly angry.

When that was sorted I began having trouble packing as everything was just piling up in the bagging area and our Asda have a new policy of only giving you new bags when they think you can't fit anything else in the ones you have so everything was just falling all over. The woman behind me starts muttering "for gods sake" and shifting her weight from foot to foot, winding herself up.

Then when I went to pay, the card wouldn't work. First two times it said "card not accepted", we wiped it, blew on it etc etc...woman behind is practically exploding...and then finally on the 3rd attempt it accepts the card but I accidently put the wrong pin number in. So took it out, put it in again "card not accepted" tried again and FINALLY it got accepted and accepted the pin ok.

So, I'm just packing the remainders of my shopping and bitch woman behind me marches up, scoops all my stuff up and just throws it all in the trolley and said "times up, soz" my eggs were broken in the process.

A big argument erupted which I'm not proud of but the woman behind the till said she didn't blame me for saying something.

But I HATE confrontation and now feel like shit

Would you have reacted in the same way or should I have let it go to save a row?

OP posts:
KerryMumbles · 12/02/2009 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KerryMumbles · 12/02/2009 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scrooged · 12/02/2009 23:18

If you want a fast checkout then you go to the 5 items line! If you are late then you go to the fastest checkout or don't go at all and order a pizza. It's not rocket science!

Carbonel · 12/02/2009 23:18

I never hand my credit card over until I have finished packing and have everything safely in my trolley - I can get really panicky over shopping and have to take things calmly, and this helps.

And if someone had been tutting at me I would just have gone more slowly out of sheer devilment

YANBU and I hope next time you can chill out and smile sweetly at the cow whilst slowly and carefully putting things into your bags If she was in that much of a hurry she could have always helped you pack

happynewmummy · 12/02/2009 23:22

@ Little Bella!!

trixymalixy · 12/02/2009 23:22

You shouldn't be feeling like sh*t, that horrible woman was unbelievably rude.

Did you get some new eggs?

Haribosmummy · 12/02/2009 23:24

it could have been me, tutting and shifting from foot to foot - years of living in rough inner cities have taught me to pack my stuff FAST... But, the 'times up, soz'... Totally out of order.

You were totally right to have a pop.

As the saying goes, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me... Sighing might be bad manners, but physcially moving someone's shopping (that they've paid for!!) = out of order.

shonaspurtle · 12/02/2009 23:28

How unbelievably rude! I hope the supermarket made her pay for your eggs.

I'll be honest and say that if I'd been the woman and in a rush I'd have been getting a bit stressed, but I'd have been mortified if I'd shown it - the shoes been on the other foot too often for that.

She sounds like a hideous nightmare. I bet she thinks she's just "assertive".

ThePgHedgeWitchIsCrankyBeware · 12/02/2009 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Jux · 13/02/2009 00:05

Bitch bully. Shit-bugger-woman (watch out for yer lace curtains).

Not you, obviously.

CuddlyKelpie · 13/02/2009 00:50

I'm sure this has been said but my thoughts were, had it been me she would have been wearing the eggs.

What an obnoxious woman - who is she to decide when your 'time is up'?

negril · 13/02/2009 01:10

Your story sounds tragic how dare she pick up your items. I must admit im inpatient at times but to do that the woman is angry just feel sorry for her, and the poor bloke she is with. You have done nothing wrong remember that and hold your chin up high.

spookshowangel · 13/02/2009 01:58

hey u go for it. she was being an utter bitch.

wabbit · 13/02/2009 02:25

I think she sounds like me in a former guise - I used to get seriously stressy about checkout 'blitherers' and would tut and roll my eyes - obviously I thought I could be sooooo much more efficient (like it matters!)

I have since become an excellent blitherer myself and frequently make a mad dash at the very last minute to grab a forgotten item or two

Even at my worst - I would never have moved your shopping out of my way! she takes the biscuit, she really does!

steviesgirl · 13/02/2009 02:38

YANBU! I would have reacted in just the same way. Some people have no self-control over their anger and no patience either. We all get a little irritated sometimes with someone who might be taking a bit of time, but most of us wouldn't have the nerve to behave like that to a stranger.

What a bitch she was. Her behaviour was totally out of order. Cheeky cow. Thankfully morons like this are in the minority.

mamhaf · 13/02/2009 08:15

This is one of the many reasons why supermarket shopping is so stressful - and why if the assistants offer to pack I always say yes.

I used to get wound up waiting for ditherers in front (and why do pensioners choose Saturdays to go shopping when they've got the rest of the week?) - now I make sure I've got a newspaper or magazine in the trolley to read while waiting.

So I can see why the woman was getting annoyed with the OP, but what did she gain by tutting etc? And completely out of order to chuck your stuff in the trolley and break the eggs.

Bucharest · 13/02/2009 08:21

I often tut in supermarkets....but YAsoNBU in this case, as none of the unfortunate incidents that caused tuttery were your fault....

I'd still contact the manager today and explain what happened and get some new eggs......

I don't mind pensioners...(I always think they go out on Saturdays to see people cos they might be lonely) but what is it with people who wait till they've bagged their stuff before they even start looking for their purse? I've got my money, in my hand, when I'm 4 people back in the queue.

PuppyMonkey · 13/02/2009 08:27

I must admit I was totally on the woman's side all through your story (why do I ALWAYS get behind people like you!!! ) but she crossed the line actually touching your stuff and breaking your eggs etc!

MrsSeanBean · 13/02/2009 08:29

YA of course NBU. What a nightmare ending to the day for you.

However, no matter how difficult, best policy is to stay calm. I second what 2pt4kids said. Stupid woman broke your eggs, she should have a lesson in accepting that behaviour like that will only serve to increase her delay, noit help the matter.

Two words of advice (if possible): avoid Asda.

fishie · 13/02/2009 08:30

i find asda causes lots more arguments than other supermarkets, the aisles are weeny for a start which makes everyone crash into each other and become angry. i don't go there any more.

but what happened to your EGGS? i must know.

MrsSeanBean · 13/02/2009 08:31

Of course, I am not implying anything about customer stereotypes, but.... you never get behaviour like this in Waitrose or M&S.

fishie · 13/02/2009 08:34

these are places where the aisles are wider there are more checkouts, the card readers work properly, the staff wouldn't allow a customer to attack another's shopping.....

starbear · 13/02/2009 08:35

Chill it will pass we all have days like that.
Woman the other week I was shopping with DH put all our stuff on the conveyor belt Woman came up to us and said 'I was before you, I just had to get some thing I forgot' She didn't leave anything on the belt! I said 'But you didn't leave your stuff on the belt' It is common practice that if you are going for something you leave the stuff on the belt so other people know!. She was really cross with me (not rude as we weren't in Asda) What was she thinking?!I think she was having a mad moment! Various things are common practice and maybe she had a crap day too! Life just goes that way sometimes.

MrsSeanBean · 13/02/2009 08:38

Another general supermarket tip is to pick a checkout which actually has a hefty trolley load just in the stages of having the final item added to the conveyor. This gives you more time to unload all your shopping before it starts getting scanned. Generally you are then more unflustered and organised when it comes to bagging and paying.
I also unload heavy items first so they will be bagged first and go at the bottom of the trolley and not squash things.

starbear · 13/02/2009 08:41

I have noticed Adsa has got very busy since the credit crunch. Popped in for onions, closest store to me. People are trying to save money and getting frustrated with rows rows of crisps, soft drinks and snacks. Fresh veg always very good. My local Waitrose fresh veg isn't very good at all. M&S daft prices sometimes food not to my taste as well. Sainsbury for me and necter points.

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