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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Following the disabled toilet thread, was this unreasonable...?

31 replies

overflowing · 11/02/2009 15:43

This happened a while ago.

I was driving and was held up in traffic and had a period disaster, tampon became saturated and soaked through to my clothes.
I parked at the next available filling station and asked to use the loo. The attendant refused, saying they had no public loos. I am not sure if he was aware of my predicament, he would have been as I walked away at any rate . I ended up meekly walking out, not wanting to draw further attention to myself, and eventually found a public loo on the street - one of those pod jobs. My clothes were still stained and wet and awful though. I wonder if I should have persisted in the filling station and insisted/asked for some understanding? There were a number of females in the queue, but they just looked a bit blank.

Was IBU?

OP posts:
FlyMeToDunoon · 11/02/2009 15:55

i dont think you could reasonably expect him to let you use the private staff toilets when he didn't know of your predicament. I have had shop staff tell me when Small children have been desperate that they are not allowed to let the public use the loo. So a] he didnt know full extent and b] he may not have been allowed anyway.

BexieID · 11/02/2009 16:02

It's times like this that I wonder whether I should keep a change of knickers and trousers in the car as the same happened to me on the way back from a holiday in Inverness. Luckily I had spares that time. I used to take a spare pair of knickers out with me, but don't now.

I think I would be too embarrased to have asked to use their private toilet too.

SatHereSitting · 11/02/2009 16:04

It wasn't a Texaco by any chance was it? I used to work in them and they were very strict on the no customers using the staff toilet rule, mainly due to the fact they were filled with stock most the time
But it was classes as a 'warning' offence if you let a customer use them

Simplysally · 11/02/2009 16:10

I think a lot of shops forbid customers from using the staff loos for insurance/security reasons. Having said that, there is a shoe shop in my town which lets little children use their staff loo which I have taken advantage of for my dd. I do buy all her shoes in there though.

It's not nice when you do need a loo though as people assume that adults can 'hang on'. Sometimes you don't want to!

mumof2222222222222222boys · 11/02/2009 16:19

i had a situation with a desperate 2 year old in Waitrose. I abandoned baby in trolley with staff member I knew by sight while we ran to public loos outside.

LazyLinePainterJane · 11/02/2009 16:46

It is insurance reasons. It's one of those where a lot of people will shout "H&S gone maaaaaaad" but for every one of those, there is someone that would sue were they to have an accident.

Personally speaking, as an ex store manager I would not have let someone use the loo for a)insurance reasons b)there was hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of stock out the back where the toilets were and in would not be beyond the realms of possibility that someone wanted to simply get a look at it (if you think this is unbelievable, you have never worked in a shop) and c) the staff toilets really were utterly disgusting and it was all I could do to go in them myself let alone allow another human to see them/smell them/catch diseases from them

LazyLinePainterJane · 11/02/2009 16:52

LOL sathere, we always used to have stock right up to the toilet door, you had to wiggle round stuff to get there

I have had someone ask if their child could use the loo (I said no and pointed them to the public loo about 20 metres outside the shop) and then they have said "well, she will just end up wetting herself all over your floor then"...and then still been in the shop (with dry child) browsing 20 minutes later

ThePgHedgeWitchIsCrankyBeware · 11/02/2009 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

beanieb · 11/02/2009 17:06

Personally I think a woman should be allowed/able/ to walk through a public area without any sanitary protection and bleed wherever she pleases. Why should we have to spend money on sanitary protection for something that is natural? If I had the guts I'd do it in Boots.

KC11 · 11/02/2009 17:59

How many times do I remember being at school in a lesson and having to tie my jumper around my waist before shuffling off to the loo as quick as i could between lessons. How are you supposed to tell your body not to leak in the middle of a lesson? it's the same sometimes at work although I'm now too old to do the jumper trick. I find using the thick pads designed for nightime help when i'm having a heavy period. A disabled toilet is still a toilet, no matter who you are you still need to use it. And if you approach a female she's probably had the experience herself at least once.

wotulookinat · 11/02/2009 18:14

You could have said you were pregnant. I think that shops are obliged to let you use their loos if that's the case.

ThingOne · 11/02/2009 19:50

I have a little card which asks shops etc to let me use their loos! Never tried to use it, mind. I did have to beg once when pregnant and the shop was lovely about it.

LazyLinePainterJane · 12/02/2009 08:32

wotyoulookinat, I don't think they are.

wotulookinat · 12/02/2009 09:06

Oh. Maybe it was just the place I worked in when I was at uni (Sports Division, now JJB, or even something else!).

sarahsissorhands · 12/02/2009 09:18

PSML Beanieb

ihavenewsockson · 12/02/2009 09:36

Legally, they cannot refuse a pregnant woman to use the loo.
Also, pregnant woman are the only people actuaaly allowed to wee at the side of a car in a public place. Front nearside tyre i think.

ihavenewsockson · 12/02/2009 09:36

not that i've tried it

wannabe10 · 12/02/2009 09:43

I have a card also. Lets me use any loo, shop or not as I have a bowel condition. Tbh though if I explain most shops have been fab and I REFUSE to get embarassed. I can also get a pass to jump the queue at theme parks too!

Stayingsunnygirl · 12/02/2009 09:58

I wonder if it is still the case that a pregnant woman who's caught short with no public loos available can still insist on relieving herself in a policeman's helmet - or is that an urban myth?

wotulookinat · 12/02/2009 10:30

ihavenewsockson, so I was right. It's not often that happens
I think it's true about the helmet. Anyone want to try it?

FAQinglovely · 12/02/2009 10:39

I was once in Matalan with DS1 just after he was (very unrealiably still) toilet trained - even to this day (at 8yrs old!) he struggles to hold on so in those days if he needed to go he needed to go.

Our Matalan is a good 10 minutes walk from the closest public toilets. When I asked a member of staff it there was a toilet I was told "no - not allowed to use the staff toilets" At this point I was very close to where the staff toilets are located.

I looked at DS1 - by this time bouncing around in desperation and asked if there was a quiet corner he could wee in the store as there was no way we would even make it out the front of the store before he went.

Suddenly they decided I could use the toilets after all

wotulookinat · 12/02/2009 10:43

brilliant, FAQ!

Poppycake · 12/02/2009 10:43

Does seem to me that most of these problems can be got around with a bit of understanding and forebearance and politeness. So "please may I borrow your helmet" should work a treat

sarahsissorhands · 12/02/2009 10:55

It is try about the policemens helmet! Legally they have to let you!

sarahsissorhands · 12/02/2009 10:55

true