to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

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I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

I have already offered to watch one woman's baby while she went. I was lucky as I was with my DM so she watched my baby while I went. The woman took me up on the offer gratefully as the communal area of the loos was too small to even get the buggies in! But to my shame I didn't think to complain to the management of wherever it was. I shall do so in future.
(((rolls up sleeves with glint in eye)))

That's just shit SGM. Do you not have the DDA in Scotland then?

Nappyaddict - honestly and truly there are cubicle doors which I can barely squeeze my OWN size 16/18 arse around - there is NO room in there for a second or third person!

Hats off to you if you can manage it - have you attempted the Mooncup challenge?

(oh and sorry for misspelling your name Wilf!)

I agree that ideally we would all have Westfield facilities wherever we went but sometimes it is useful to know that you can cope without the modcons of living somewhere like the UK.

Eg, take yourself overseas, say to Marrakesh, where you will only find any toilet either up or downstairs and all you have is a tiny cubicle with an even tinier toilet. I have changed my DS in such condition, on my lap. No it wasn't nice, and a clean change table would have been preferable, but we managed, and are better for the non-coccooned existance of only living in the UK.

Sometimes it it is good to be stretched, that is how anything is changed or achieved, necessity is the mother of invention and all that....

I just wanted to add this - a good proportion of the ladies' loos I have tried to use since having DS are not accessible with the buggy. So I wouldn't be able to use the end cubicle because I actually can't get the buggy to it. Where it has been possible to wheel the thing in, then yes, I have done this.

But I am not going to leave the whole thing outside the Ladies (often double doors away).

And I can't be the only one who uses the buggy to put shopping in - so if I wanted to make sure I had everything when I got back, I would need to unload the baby, the shopping and take all of that into the Ladies' to do a pee. That's quite a lot sometimes, and not that safe.

Anyway, I have never caused inconvenience to a disabled person and hope I never will - if there was a chance of it, I wouldn't use the loo. But I do agree that there should be separate provision for family loos and disabled, and that the changing facilities would be better in a separate area (WITH a loo!) as well.

YANBU and how did this turn into the proverbial parking space debate round here i cannot get my maclaren into the ladies toilets let alone a cubicle. the baby changing room doesnt have a toilet so yes, i will use the disabled toilet. am not leaving a 5month and a 16 month old baby in the corridor whilst i traipse into the ladies.

i have never seen a queue for the disabled toilets either.

I'm sorry mm22 but I've pooed in a hole in teh ground up a mountain in Peru. I don't think I've particularly learnt anything from the experience except how useful strong thigh muscles can be!

It may be a case of playing sardines in a can but I have never had a problem fitting me and my twin cousins in the same cubicle when i look after them. They are 6 now and go to the toilet on their own but I have looked after them from being about 18 months and if two 18 month olds need the toilet then you don't really get any other option than to squeeze everyone in the same cubicle. I wonder if anyone on here has triplets and could tell us if they've managed the same thing?

I am intrigued if anyone has changed a tampon or mooncup whilst using the end cubicle with the door open? Perhaps my speed isn't up to scratch

mm22bys - that's not really an argument for why the we shouldn't strive to have family friendly facilities here though, is it? The point is that where good facilities CAN be prioritied, then they should be.

Sorry - x post earlier Nappyaddict . I have peed with the door open to the pram many times too, I am fortunate in having a reasonably fast-emptying bladder so the general public has thus far been spared the sight of me with my knickers round my ankles. I have a friend with bladder problems though who takes a good 10 mins to have a pee, I'm not sure she'd be so prepared to go down that road.

I don't know if everyone on here would agree but i would consider a bladder problem a sort of disability and if they have children with them i wouldn't mind if they used the disabled toilet.

yanbu imo. I think there should be larger cublicles for parent and buggy (John lewis have a large one with 2 loos (a adult and child one) in their changing/feeding rooms. So much better imo. But then you get parents with lots older kids coming in and using it rather than queue.

So i dont think you are being unreasonable as you have a young child with you.

Really THW I would never challenge anyone with crutches going into a disabled toilet. Surely one would assume you were disabled?

I asked to use the 'accessible toilet' at Manchester Piccadilly Station. The janitor asked why repeatedly. I said, 'Because I have a child in a buggy, a suitcase and a rucksack. There is no space for all those things in a cubicle.' He was argumentative but eventually let me in. It wasn't even called a disabled toilet.

Well I have learnt something (I think) I am really lucky that my town have disabled and parent and child loos (and separate nappy change rooms and a nappy change/bf in private room with a loo cubicle big enough for a buggy in it! I have used 'easy access' loos when with dd in buggy, generally where they have been designed to be dual purpose disabled/baby change facilities, but will in future only use then when completely essential. Although thinking about it some cafes only have disabled facilities which is obviously a real problem. Our local mcdonalds (not that I go there often you understand) regularly closes it upstairs able bodied loos and expects everyone to use the downstairs disabled loo, which must cause people problems.

I agree with others that what we need is better facilities for mothers, pg women and disabled people. Before becoming a mum I had no idea my town had particularly good facilities.

Just wondering if I took my large Renault Master Disabled van out and could'nt park it in a Disabled bay [because my Disabled daughter was'nt with me] would it be o.k. to park it in one of those lovely wide Parent and Toddler bays if I needed to pop into the shops quickly or would I get blasted by all these MNs with young children/babies?

having read the first few pages of the thread Im shocked at the YABU about using the disabled toilets. The radar key can be bought by anyone disabled or not, the condition being that you have to pay VAT on it if you are not disabled. The point of the key is not to specifically exclude able bodied people from using them, but to prevent vandalism and drug taking, which happens more commonly in disabled toilets than able-bodied toilets.

No way would I leave my children when they were babies outside the toilets, its way too risky in the world we live in today. I would make sure that no-one was needing it before myself and I was in and out quickly.

Whilst preg i had spd and couldnt even bend to pull my knickers up so i would consider that enough of a disability to warrant using it too.
If approached after using one I would politely remind said person that not all disabilities are physically obvious.

As for disabled parking I would never use one, and if there are no m+p parking spaces i park in the middle of two normal spaces!

salsmum yes because what would be your reason?

surely the loo thng is a different matter as we are talking about child safety, if you parked there, it would be for no reason surely?

points out the fact that I wouldnt use a disabled toilet if not with baby in pram

ThePgHedgeWitchIsCrankyBeware you should have said "Disabled people can get pregnant too". My physio said that pregnancy isn't a disability but you can be pregnant and disabled.

If you've neiter children or a disabled person on board you should walk/catch the bus

neither
sorry