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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be such a control freak that I am vetoing dh's choice of song at his funeral (hypothetically)

87 replies

Oovavu · 05/02/2009 21:07

You know when you have those conversations about the type of funeral you would like in theory? well dh and i had one of them and his taste in music is so rubbish I said I wouldn't have any of those songs and that he wouldn;t know anything about it anyway... and then he said I'm being unreasonable and has promised to haunt me if I don't play his songs. But they are dire and I would be embarrassed that people remembered him like that

OP posts:
fruitbeard · 05/02/2009 21:11

What on earth are they?

fruitbeard · 05/02/2009 21:11

Sorry, posted too soon. Am imagining he's asked for The Birdie Song or something...

Thunderduck · 05/02/2009 21:11

If he wants them you must play them. Playing songs that meant nothing to him wouldn't be right.

Now you have to tell us what the songs are.

MissisBoot · 05/02/2009 21:13

YANBU - I'm considering vetoing dh's choice of funeral if he goes first - I want a green burial and he wants a normal one - I want us to be buried together and can't stand the thought of us apart in death [soppy old git emoticon]

SweetAudrina · 05/02/2009 21:14

I'm quite control freaky over stuff like this too. Nobody has as good a taste of music as me so I should quite rightly take control.

WaitingforaSproglettoFall · 05/02/2009 21:14

Sorry but YABwayU.

If he wants certain songs than that's his right surely. You'd be embarrassed about people remembering him that way, but what about how he wants people to remember him.

LadyOfWaffle · 05/02/2009 21:15

Ditto sprogletto. Sorry, YABU.

ScottishMummy · 05/02/2009 21:29

without stating the obvious it is his choice even if it is celine the heart will go on and on and on

what about who's sorry now?

so what cheestatic ditties has he picked?guns n rose man rock or schalmtzy elton, robbie

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 05/02/2009 21:39

VERY unreasonable.

I want Monty Pythons 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' and if dh gets them to play Amazing Grace, or Great Is Thy Faithfulness instead, I fully intend to come back and push the fecker down the stairs.

If someone has a specific wish, you should move heaven and earth to carry it out. You've just lost someone you love, do you think you'll give a fuck what other people might think of the song choices?

keepingitRia · 05/02/2009 21:43

I fully intend to play Seasons in the Sun at DHs.

I think you need to say what your DH has chosen though.

Habbibu · 05/02/2009 21:46

Heard a woman on the radio who said to her daughters that they could choose a song for her funeral. They went away, thought about it, and presented her with this

ScottishMummy · 05/02/2009 21:51

The Research for the Bereavement Register poll found these to be the songs most frequently requested for funerals in Britain 2006:

  1. Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt
  2. Angels - Robbie Williams
  3. I've Had The Time Of My Life - Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
  4. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
  5. Pie Jesu - Requiem
  6. Candle In The Wind - Elton John
  7. With Or Without You - U2
  8. Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton
  9. Every Breath You Take - The Police
  10. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
  11. Danny Boy

james bleeding blunt....eugh coma inducung poon hound

or

The top 10 ?alternative? funeral songs:

  1. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life - Eric Idle / Monty Python
  2. Cabaret - Liza Minnelli
  3. Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye - Gracie Fields
  4. My Way - Sid Vicious
  5. They?re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa - Napoleon
  6. Fame! I Want To Live Forever - The cast of Fame
  7. We?ve Gotta Get Out Of This Place - The Animals
  8. Going Underground - The Jam
  9. Spirit In The Sky - Dr and The Medics
10. Enjoy Yourself, It??s Later Than You Think - The Specials (ANI)
lizziemun · 05/02/2009 21:52

YABU

I think you have to go with what they want.

At my dad funeral/cremation last week we went in to 'fields of gold' which is/was one of my favorite song. He then had The Rolling Stones 'hey you get of my cloud'.

Shoshe · 05/02/2009 21:52

I pmsl at that one Hab

Hassled · 05/02/2009 21:53

YANBU. There is no way DH is going out to the fecking Wedding Present. I will already have suffered enough, there's no reason to make the funeral more upsetting.

Thunderduck · 05/02/2009 21:54

OK. I've changed my mind slightly, if he wants James Blunt YANBU. If he wants anything else then you must play it.

ScottishMummy · 05/02/2009 21:56

what does out to the wedding present mean?what buried with the toaster and sheets?

tiredsville · 05/02/2009 21:56

My DH wants Cher - Gypsies, Tramps and Theives WTF?

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 05/02/2009 21:57

I wantthis because it will just appall and confuse everyone and give them something to talk about.

Hassled · 05/02/2009 21:57

The Wedding Present. 80s indie wankers. Music to slash your wrists to. DH loves them in a worryingly obsessive way.

onlyjoking9329 · 05/02/2009 21:59

well i guess it's up to you, but as it is one of the last things you will get to do for your DH i think it should be his choice.
My husband died in june and we had the songs that he asked for, songbird solsbury hill and somewhere over the rainbow, mind you if had asked for the birdie song..............

tiredsville · 05/02/2009 22:02

I'm sorry Onlyjoking

ScottishMummy · 05/02/2009 22:07

unfortunately had to attend friend funeral we all took along one photo and at readings discussed music.travel,likes dislikes,memories.no contemporary music played but we all got together after and reminisced with wine and music

OnlyJoking,sorry to read about your husband,blimey not long ago at all,are you getting by

Hassled · 05/02/2009 22:09

OJ, your DH was a man of impeccable taste. Those are good songs.

The Wedding Present, however...

sorrento · 05/02/2009 22:16

I want Suddenly by Angry Anderson, if i'm hit by a bus or something rather than a long drawn out affair.