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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish people would stop phoning me asking if i have had my baby yet?

31 replies

MsSparkle · 07/01/2009 12:27

Sorry but i just need to vent. I am pregnant and a week overdue. I am getting really pissed off at all the phone calls with people asking if i have had "any twinges" or if i have had the baby yet

I know these people mean well but do they really think that they won't be either phoned or text by myself or dp when the baby is born?

I can't not answer the phone in case it's the phone call i am expecting from the midwife plus mil/pil go into panic mode if i don't answer and think i have gone into labour.

I have been trying to do some work on the computer this morning and for some reason everytime the phone rings, i lose my internet connection and spend 10 minutes trying to connect it again

Sorry i must sound like a grumpy old hag but people are just really annoying me.

OP posts:
EachPeachPearMum · 07/01/2009 12:33

Its infuriating, isn't it. (38 weeks pg here!)

Put the phone onto ansafone or silent ringer- just keep your mobile to hand for when labour does start

OneLieIn · 07/01/2009 12:37

Screen your calls - its the only way

HensMum · 07/01/2009 12:39

I know what you mean. I went 2 weeks overdue before being induced and hated the phone calls/emails.
I just ignored it in the end. Only answered my mobile if it was DP and didn't reply to emails that just said "any news?!" I even ignored my mum and sister as they were the worst for phoning "just to check you are OK" with that hopeful tone in their voice.

I was a total bitch for the last two weeks of pregnancy. But I think you are allowed to be.

One thing that did help (I think!) was putting updates on my Facebook page - Hensmum is...still pregnant/not in labour yet etc - every day. I think it kept some people at bay.

Fimbo · 07/01/2009 12:40

I know what you mean. My parents kept ringing the hospital to see if I had had my C section yet or not. Did they think we would have the baby and just not let them know??? Arrghh.

Original poster
MsSparkle · 07/01/2009 12:44

I just egnored the phone, pressed 1471 and it was a 0845 number so luckily i just missed a cold caller.

I suppose i have that to look forward to as well, every cold caller in England phoning to try and flog me life insurance or join me to a childrens book club! I had about 3 or 4 a day after dd was born. In the end i just used to say no one of that name lives here and the calls stopped.

OP posts:
MamacitaGordita · 07/01/2009 12:53

No I don't think YABU- I went 12 days over and from about 38 weeks was receiving calls, texts etc, even from my sisters saying 'have you had this baby yet?'- felt like replying 'oh blimey, so I have! Just popped a mahoosive baby boy out my fanjo and FORGOT to tell all my nearest and dearest!' One sister kept texting to let me know how much she wanted me to have the baby- eventually replied assuring her no-one wanted it to come more than me! But they are just excited and happy for you... can see that now grumpy overdue hormones have abated... x

Claireykitten · 07/01/2009 12:55

YA so NBU I remember finding it really really annoying when I was having ds, it all started 1-2 weeks before he was due and he ended up being 4 days late, I was glad he wasnt any later or I would have been going insane! I am now trying not to think about it all happening again in 16 weeks with this bump.

I have to say though that we have a friend who was due on 3rd January and I am having a really hard time not continually texting to ask her how she is so I am realizing just how hard it is to be on this end of the situation now!!

Claire xXx

completelyabsolutely · 07/01/2009 14:18

YANBU - dd was 16 days overdue so I feel your pain! Do you have an answerphone you can change the message on so you can just put - 'No I have not had the baby yet, you will be notified when I do, now bugger off' then you can switch the phone off and get back to walking, eating pineapple and curry, swigging rasberry leaf tea, rubbing clary sage into your bump and all the other crap that is supposed to get them out

misshardbroom · 07/01/2009 16:50

God, I can't describe how NBU you are. I had this with all of mine - all 2 weeks overdue and people drive you mad. Admittedly by this stage you're a combination of hormonal / excited / frightened / disappointed the baby hasn't shown up, but I really felt as though people thought I was doing it on purpose. Even my best friend would phone me and say 'Get on with it then'.

And 'any twinges?'. What a farking stupid thing to say. Anyone who's ever had a baby knows that labour isn't just a sequence of subtle little twinges. You'd think that by the time you'd had a few of them people would accept that if you were in labour you might just bloody notice, but no!

Sorry for the rant, 5 years of overdue bitterness pouring out in support of you.

sasamaxx · 07/01/2009 16:53

No
YANBU
It is the most annoying thing - I hated it

LadyOfWaffle · 07/01/2009 16:53

I am going to be the odd one out here, YANBU but no one phoned me, i'd be chuffed people cared.

RedtartanLass · 07/01/2009 17:05

Mmm I'm with LadyOfWaffle on this one, my last 2 were both 15 days overdue and I got loads of calls and texta and yes it drove me mad. But how awful if noone called or cared.

But hey that's looking back after 3 years, maybe I should check my old threads before I post this

Oh and good luck BTW

ithinkimtallandblonde · 07/01/2009 17:38

YANBU its a nightmare. My Mother was the worst, like we wouldn't have called.

moosemama · 07/01/2009 18:04

Hi MsSparkle, am with you, only 4 days over here but getting very fed up with it all.

The other thing that's driving me mad is the Mums on the school rum who look straight at my bump and say "Haven't you had that baby yet?" "Er... obviously not!"

It is nice that people care enough to be interested I suppose, but it does get frustrating when you are fielding daft questions 24/7.

My Mum told me today that she's not slept for days in case the phone rings in the night! If the phone rings she'll hear it fgs, its next to her bed! She did this last time and then was too exhausted to help out after DS2 was born (didn't see her for two flippin weeks!)

BouncingTurtle · 07/01/2009 18:12

I remember well when I was due with ds, if I range anyone I would have to say very quickly "no-I'm-not-ringing-to-tell-you-i-haven-had-the-baby-it's-still-in-there!"

In the end I used to tell people that yes I have had the baby, it was a kangeroo and I've left it indoors while I go down the pub!

I also bollocked one of my lab technicians because I found out she had constantly texting a collegaue to ask her if she had had her baby!

ChocFudgeCake · 07/01/2009 18:27

I was 10 days overdue and had ILS and my mum staying over. They had arrived one or 2 weeks before the due date, just to be on the safe side. And every day they would ask "DO you feel anything? Any little pain? Do you feel like you might have a stomach ache?... Why don't you go out to walk, maybe that will get things started?"
On the plus side, they were so bored that they started to do some gardening and fixed everything fixable at home. Then of course when I finally had the baby and went back home the 3 of them left within 2 DAYS!

KerryMumbles · 07/01/2009 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JingleBonesJun · 07/01/2009 20:29

Answer the phone: 'no there isn't any news yet'

that's what my DP did when MIL called for the sixth day running, she stopped after that.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 07/01/2009 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nancy75 · 07/01/2009 20:50

no yanbu, dd was 10 days late, in the end i asked people to stop phoning, it was driving me mad. the worst was my mum, and as she was the person on call to take me to the hospital when i did go into labour she really didnt need to worry about not being the first to know!

spottyshoes · 07/01/2009 20:58

YANBU!!!!! I was booked in for an ELCS at 38+5 with DS and still had family texting from 37 wks to see if he had arrived! On the day I went in, my SIL rang recovery to demand to know why we hadn't phoned her yet....I was just being wheeled out of theatre

catweazle · 07/01/2009 21:06

I do sympathise. DS1 was 2 weeks late and I had constant calls from about 39 weeks. As you've all said would your family really think you'd have the baby and not tell them?!

babymt · 08/01/2009 10:33

This time I've told everyone my due date is the day I hit 42 weeks . Been there done that re everyone ringing. For some reason as soon as you hit the month you are due in everyone starts with the...any baby yet? crap.

Olifin · 08/01/2009 12:11

YANBU. I went 'overdue' by about a week with each of mine and the well-meaning phone calls made me cry with rage.

Especially grating was the phrase: 'Any twinges?' People began to wish they hadn't asked when I'd shriek at them:
'Yes, plenty of twinges. I'm 40+ weeks pregnant. I am carrying a full-term baby who is break-dancing on my cervix and I giving me sharp shooting pains in my rectum. Plenty of f*cking twinges but no, I'm not in labour'.

I truly sympathise and hope it's your turn soon.

ChristmasPenguin · 08/01/2009 13:22

Olifin - you just made me spit diet coke all over my keyboard

and no, YANBU. I had this from my Mother, every day, from about 38 weeks. 11am, phone would go 'any nwes yet'

She also called the ward when I was in labour and insisted I get to the phone.