Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at the leaflet telling me how happy my kids will be if i go back to work?

161 replies

neenztwinz · 06/01/2009 11:37

I got this with my child benefit letter yesterday.

It is a leaflet about affordable childcare, and the pic on the front is a cartoon of some kids playing with a train and it says 'we play with trains, mum goes to work - whoo whoo!'.

It says to me: your kids will be happier if you go to work.

To be fair, I noticed on the back it has kids playing with musical instruments and it says 'we do music, dad goes to the office, rat a tat tat' so i think it is just some poor puns on trains and music rather than kids going 'way hey - mum's gone to work!!'

But I still think it is a bit

OP posts:
blueshoes · 06/01/2009 16:53

twinmam, my posts with neenz go back a fair few, not just her last post, so have to be read in that context.

You are right about one thing - she should not have to justify her choices to others. I need to clarify. She (and other women in her specific position) should be able to justify her choices to her dh who might pressure on her to return to work and bring him to her side. She should be able to do this even if government incentives apply which make it economically viable for her to work (though in her case it fortuitously does not).

To remove financial incentives for other women who need to work just to give other more fortunate ones who don't need/want to work a convenient excuse not to, seems churlish IMO. Though I accept neenz is just musing.

Original poster
neenztwinz · 06/01/2009 16:56

Yes it would be very churlish blueshoes! Outrageous even. You are right, my DH should let me stay at home because we believe it best for our family not because it is not financially beneficial for me to go back. That is the case actually, since we have the twins his attitude to my working has changed completely.

OP posts:
VanillaPumpkin · 06/01/2009 16:58

YANBU - This pissed me off too...and did when I got it last year too .

blueshoes · 06/01/2009 16:59

neenz, cross-posted.

This is your post that I was referring to: "Would some women be secretly happy if it was not financially viable for them to return to work ie if the govt didn't incentivise them to go back?".

I read this as saying you think the govt is currently incentivising women to go back to work and wouldn't it make some women secretly happier that the govt did not because (as you clarified in a later post) that they did not have to face pressure from their dhs to go back to work.

I know you subsequently made the point about the government incentivising mothers to stay at home, which is a different point, to which I have already replied.

sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 17:01

FWIW I wish the gowmt would do something to make staying at home more do-able

ScottishMummy · 06/01/2009 17:02

such as?

TheCrackFox · 06/01/2009 17:03

FWIW I just wish the govt. would piss off and mind its own business.

blueshoes · 06/01/2009 17:04

As you rightly point out, your dh and you will do what you both jointly agree is best for your family. That would happen whatever government financial incentives are out there for going back to work - no need to curtail those financial incentives if the fact is you would have made the same decision anyway.

blueshoes · 06/01/2009 17:09

OrmIrian, . I think it gets better though. I could not bear to spend more than a few hours with dd as a toddler. But now that she is 5, I actually find her quite good company.

Original poster
neenztwinz · 06/01/2009 17:11

Blueshoes, I didn't say I wanted the incentives curtailed, I only asked do some women wish there were fewer incentives. I assume you think no? I agree actually cos like you said if they can't afford to stay at gome they can't afford to stay at home no matter what the childcare available. I think they would only want fewer incentives if there were more incentives to stay at home.

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 06/01/2009 17:11

As I said earlier I just wish they would stop wasting money pushing their social agendas and let women do as they choose, i.e. whatever is best for their own circumstances.

I still think this mail drop will have cost thousands and benifited a very very very select few. IMHO not effective use of government cash.

sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 17:12

hmm...don't know...maybe help schemes for working at home

ScottishMummy · 06/01/2009 17:14

govt intervention/assistance to be homeworker? these roles exist,what could govt add?

sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 17:17

Well some sort of start-up grant would be extremely helpful

Original poster
neenztwinz · 06/01/2009 17:37

Adding your tax-free allowance to your partner's would help too.

OP posts:
sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 17:41

It would - esp since the old style 'family' tax free allowance is no more

LucyEllensmummy · 06/01/2009 18:19

You got a leaflet saying that your children will be happier if you go back to work? WTF??? How very DARE they. Who's business is it other than your/our own when and if we go back to work?

LucyEllensmummy · 06/01/2009 18:25

I hate this, get mothers back in the workplace bullshit - it is outrageous. Making women who choose to stay at home feel guilty and like some sort of financial burden. If you work and it works for you then great, but i really don't see the benefit of forcing women into often menial jobs that after childcare hardly make the sacrifice worth it, because i think any working mother would agree that going back to work is not without sacrifice.

Not just that, are the people in the "harrass mothers back to work" department on the same planet as everyone else - there is a fucking recession and the very sort of jobs they are trying to force women back into are rapidly disappearing.

I agree with the poster who said, what about incentives to keep children at home with their mums? Yes, my DD goes to nursery now - 2 hours a day and she loves it and is definately benefiting socially and educationally, but as for her being there all day? Im not sure she would benefit anymore, especially as she would then have a totally harrassed and knackered mummy - quality time? Id be too fucking tired!

ScottishMummy · 06/01/2009 18:26

no the leaflet didnt say that,that was her subjective interpretation.so as you were LEM

It is a leaflet about affordable childcare, and the pic on the front is a cartoon of some kids playing with a train and it says 'we play with trains, mum goes to work - whoo whoo!'.

It says to me: your kids will be happier if you go to work.

randomcupsoftea · 06/01/2009 18:27

Sounds a completely rubbish leaflet.

Imagine the complaints also if it was the other way round - that the leaflet hinted that kids are happier if a parent stays at home.

ScottishMummy · 06/01/2009 18:30

may i suggest an overreaction,a lot of how the devil dare they.just a leaflet ladies.that is all

dont expect a compulsory detainment of your children at baby boot camp

...yet

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 06/01/2009 18:49

but what a waste as what exactly does it achieve,
" oh I'd never thought about going to work until I read that helpful goevrnment produced crap leaflet"

Tthink most women put a lot more time and thought in the return to work process than "oh my kids will relly enjoy childcare"!! more along the lines of will it really be finacially viable and good for my family to return to work.

believer07 · 06/01/2009 19:05

here here blue shoes..well said.

ahfeckit · 06/01/2009 19:11

i just looked at the thing for a nanosecond and chucked it directly into the blue bin. what a waste of paper.
YABslightlyU. It's not really worth thinking about too deeply tbh.

hazeyjane · 06/01/2009 19:45

leaflet here

Swipe left for the next trending thread