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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry that my neice is a spoilt 20yr old madam.

79 replies

slavetomykids · 27/12/2008 16:49

Sorry if this is long.
Dh's parents divorced 20 yrs ago and both have remarried. Neither they or there partners have siblings (and the new partners have no children of their own btw), and they all get on. Which is nice.
Dh's only sibling, his brother, lives away, so we all got together today, the 4 inlaws, dh,I and our 2 children, dbil, his wife and thied 20yr old only child.
Because we live near inlaws, they all came to ours, along with their partners and my family for Xmas Lunch, which was nice and friendly.
Today I cooked another Xmas dinner so we could celebrate with inlaws and Dbil's family.
All that is irrelevant really, the crux is, dniece is TWENTY and has just had a major hissy fit because dmil gave her a box of chocolates and £100, which is the same as what she gave dd who is 14. (she effectivly gave ds the same, but his was toys to the tune of £100)
She has just spent an hour moaning long and loud that as their is only one of her she should have £200 and to that effect she thinks her grandmother owes her 2 grand in back payment. I am so annoyed that she could be so rude, that if she was mine (and I am not and have never been a person to do this) I would of slapped her legs.
Apparently she feels this way as thats what her other grandparents (ie sil parents) do.

OP posts:

NAB3hundredChristmaslights · 27/12/2008 16:51

What was said when she threw her toddler tantrum?

MatNanPlusTINSEL · 27/12/2008 16:52

Ignore her, such a shame she wasn't taught manners and that gifts are to be appreciated as they are not a right.

Kristingle · 27/12/2008 16:52

you are right to think that she is a spoilt madam

and you are also right to keep that opinion to youreslf

except here on Mn where its ok to moan

llareggub · 27/12/2008 16:56

She sounds awful.

Original poster

slavetomykids · 27/12/2008 16:58

Well dstep mil took my two and our dog for a walk, (I was getting ds into his wheelchair to escape, when she said she would) and dstepfil and I washed up.
Dsil agreed with her daughter, and so did her dad. My husband was just where as her Bio Grandparents (dh mam and dad) called her spoilt and selfish, but could see her point. Well I can't she is a working woman ffs

OP posts:

LadyOfWaffle · 27/12/2008 16:58

that's awful. I'm only 22 and have never behaved like that - 20 years ago maybe, but not 2. I feel bad for your MIL. If I was her mother I would have taken it off her I think. any present is a gift not a right.

islandofsodor · 27/12/2008 16:58

OH my goodness. She would be getting zilch next year. What a spoilt ungrateful little lady dog.

Original poster

slavetomykids · 27/12/2008 17:00

Hang on I should also mention that she left school with good Alevels at 18 and joined the police, but as she wanted to do a degree to, dfil and mil are paying for her tuition and all her books so she can do one with the OU

OP posts:

TsarHumbug · 27/12/2008 17:00

Blimey what an awful young lady. What did her parents say about that? At 20 too, so not a child.

I agree with you slavetomykids and I very possibly would have said something after a couple of Christmas sherries.

Original poster

slavetomykids · 27/12/2008 17:02

Words fail me, I think its because this is the first time, dd has got the money and choc gift, up until now she has had toys/gifts like ds.
Oh well, at least I don't have to be her mother.

OP posts:

compo · 27/12/2008 17:03

was she drunk?!!

LadyOfWaffle · 27/12/2008 17:03

infact, I wouldn't even expect/allow a 2 year old to behave like that.

AuntieMaggie · 27/12/2008 17:03

OMG - £100 from grandparents - she should be grateful. Some of us only got a tenner!

I am seriously gobsmacked not only at her rudeness but also that her parents agree with her!

By this logic I am owed goodness knows how much money as my stepsisters used to get 2 sets of presents from my dad as we used to have a second xmas day with them each year.

Original poster

slavetomykids · 27/12/2008 17:04

I escaped to the dishes, never have the dishes been so welcome.
I just know that the 4 inlaws left here either in tears or with sad faces, whilst dh's brother and his family stormed out in anger. Her parents agreed with her. I am just glad she is not mine.

OP posts:

Ponders · 27/12/2008 17:04

Why can't she (& her parents ) see that the very generous present is not £200 per family but £100 per child?

piscesmoon · 27/12/2008 17:05

She sounds appalling. I don't know what to suggest, but someone needs to give her a few home truths.

mediocrebronze · 27/12/2008 17:05

And to think I told my 5 year old off when he was ungrateful for the jumper that his aunt and uncle gave him. Luckily they weren't there to see it. (Nice jumper though I'm pleased) Hes 5 though not 20!

Mooseheart · 27/12/2008 17:06

Hmmm... she would definitely not be invited back to mine next year.

I had strong words with my 3 and 4 yo dds today due to some particularly brattish behaviour which seems to have evolved the last few days.

But a 20 yr old? No fucking way would I tolerate that.

Mooseheart · 27/12/2008 17:07

Fuck, I would cancel the cheque too!

muggglewump · 27/12/2008 17:07

That is awful.

How has she ended up like this though, is there a back story?

MoreSpamThanGlam · 27/12/2008 17:15

I would have laughed at her, took the piss out of her and her childish behaviour. Ask her if she wants some dollies next year to throw out of her pram.

What a selfish spoilt brat.

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 27/12/2008 17:17

Can't believe the parents agreed with her! I would have been so furious my kid would be jolly lucky not to have been wrapped in brown paper and sent home by rail!

TheCrackFox · 27/12/2008 17:20

MoreSpam, I think you have the right idea. I would have openly taken the piss out of her.

Did I read right that "d"neice is a police officer? Slightly worrying that she is so childish but has such a grown up job.

I had no grandparents left by the time I was £20 so she should count her blessings, silly bint.

FunnyLittleFrog · 27/12/2008 17:23

That's absolutely appalling! Definitely very spoilt and selfish. Hopefully she'll see the error of her ways eventually but if her parents are supporting her chances of this are probably slim.

ThingOne · 27/12/2008 17:25

Bloody hell!

More spam - woudn't it be great to say that - but I too would have run away to the washing up.

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