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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report my dp for drink driving

38 replies

ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 22:44

mainly i want to do it as he's been an arse all day and ruined our xmas. so i'm expecting to get slated

but it's not first time.

it's dangerous and he could kill someone.

and he'll be drinking more where he goes so goodness knows what state he gets in??

so? should i hunt down his reg plate? or can i do it without it? do i need to know exactly where he's going?

or should i just not do it.

he owns his own business. he requires his lisence to drive between the premises. but he could get by without it for a year.

also, he has a gambling addiction and this would really curb that for a period as he's in a danger of losing the house and businesses at moment this would perhaps be a could thing as he wouldn't be able to get there?

OP posts:
Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 22:45

good not could

OP posts:
rolereversal · 25/12/2008 22:47

sounds like your not too happy in this situation altogether, I would be tempted to report him, but it could be the end of a lot more than just his driving licence?

chloemegjess · 25/12/2008 22:47

DO it. Drink driving is so selfish and stupid. Anybody who does it deserves to be reported IMO

MatNanPlusTINSEL · 25/12/2008 22:50

I would.

Hubby hardly drinks but will only have a glass of red if he is with someone who can drive him as tho he isn't impaired he won't take that chance.

RandyBumgardner · 25/12/2008 22:51

I would report any drink driver in a heartbeat.

Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 22:52

the relationship is definately over after what happened today. long story.

but i watched him do this so many times when we were together and never reported it as we were together.

i cant stand drink driving.

how do i report it?

OP posts:
juicyjolly · 25/12/2008 23:04

Phone the police when you know he is driving when under the influence.If you allow it to continue and he killed or maimed somebody, then you are to blame as much as him!
There should be no doubt in your mind about this!

Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 23:06

i'm not sure where he is though or where he's staying tonight. definately not here. possibly his sister.

do i not need detaisl of where and when he'll be for them to catch him?

OP posts:
rolereversal · 25/12/2008 23:06

if relationship over then defo do it, its a crappy thing to be doing

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 25/12/2008 23:09

Details not needed, do you know the reg?
Call the police, explain the situation and give the reg. Hopefully they'll catch him.
they are hot on dd at this time of year apparently (DP is a pc)

Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 23:18

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah cant find registration. it's a new car. all documents go to business and the brokers haven't sent bill yet which will contain reg details.

might just call and threaten him i'll do it just so he gets a lift.

OP posts:
jollyoldstnickschick · 25/12/2008 23:20

I can see where you are coming from and I am totally against drink driving butI think there may well be serious implications and repercussions on you if you were to do it(nothing sinister mostly financial and stress).

I think if you felt morlly obliged to do this you should hve a long time ago instead of keeping it like a little bomb.

I dont know you and i can understand youve had a hell of a day and im not saying dont do it-im saying dont do it entirely out of malice.

chloemegjess · 25/12/2008 23:20

IF you just threaten him, it will not stop him doing it again and therefore might kill somebody another night

Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 23:24

well i cant find his registration details so it looks like that ideas off. text his brother and sister though. so perhaps one of them might know it. as i know they hate it but dont have the gutts to report him.they've asked me to do it before and i've refused as he's lo's father. and i always feel really guilt ridden and worry like hell till he gets home without killing someone from his stupidity.

OP posts:
TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 25/12/2008 23:26

If you want to report him DP says give his name and explain it's at his business address they can still find it.
Seriously, the police will have access to both his records, the business's and the DVLaA.

Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 23:28

ok. which police? the one in his area he's in just now?

or the one i'm in

or the one in his sisters where he may possibly be staying?

OP posts:
TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 25/12/2008 23:31

Normal non-emergency of the place he is likely to be.
Tel them you know he left your house at X time. He was not sober, has drunk drive before, and give them all the details you can.
They share all info received anyway so if you say he could be in X place they will know too.

Nighbynight · 25/12/2008 23:32

I would do it, because drink driving is such a dangerous thing to do.

cant answer your qus, sorry, but I think the police prefer if you give them a situation that they can quickly do something about, eg if you know that he is doing it at a particular time.

Original poster
ELMOchristmascountdown · 25/12/2008 23:38

ok. gonna phone the one in area he's in. thanks all. going off to call and have a cry.

thanks

night

OP posts:
ravenAK · 25/12/2008 23:39

If it was the first time, & you'd just had an unprecedented row, he'd stormed off in the car...maybe you'd want to sleep on it before calling it in.

Actually, no, that's bollocks, isn't it? . You really can't condone this - what if he is is a smash tonight, & you knew he'd been drinking...it's grim for you, but you'd be doing the right thing.

I think you should do as TTLIVS suggests.

findtheriver · 26/12/2008 10:07

I think you actually have a duty to do it

pantomimEDAMe · 26/12/2008 10:22

what happened, Elmo? Tbh, I think you should have reported him the first time he did it, whatever the state of your relationship.

AuntieMaggie · 26/12/2008 10:38

drink driving is so fecking selfish - it makes me really angry.

most people who do it only worry that they won't get caught or that they'll get home safely - they don't think about the consequences or damage they could do to other people's lives.

They also don't think that if they get caught it can take at least 2 hours for them to be processed by the police which I think is a fecking unneccessary waste of our police's time (not great english I know) - not that I'm saying they shouldn't arrest them but they could be doing other things and I resent the fact that they have to deal with idiots who can't say no to a drink.

kslatts · 26/12/2008 10:48

You are doing the right thing reporting it.

wotuhohohoinat · 26/12/2008 10:53

I think you should report it. He could kill someone.