To think that I am right and you are all wrong?

[CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell]

My cleaner made a phone call during working hours so I'm sacking her.

I saw a woman shout at her child in the street so I called the Social Services.

There was a young mum who hadn't even bothered to put make-up on, so I pointed her out to friends and we all tut-tutted at her.

I got a Christmas card from neighbours and they spelt my name wrong so now they're not getting one back.

I hate all newbies, how dare they post on Mumsnet, they should study all the rules first and make an effort to suck up to the oldies.

And very dare you even THINK of disagreeing with me!

Its always a joy and a pleasure to read such a well balanced view on life

Don't you have a new Xmas single to write or something.....?

...

PMSL

Oh and I forgot to have a go at dh because I caught him looking at the woman in the shop as she served him, so he's obviously shagging her!

you need a massage or something ;)

Are you having a go?

Are you?

Are you?

Did you report your school to ofsted for putting the apostrophe in the wrong place in the school newsletter?

And don't forget to have a go at the cliquey Mums in the playground!!!!

yabvu

Oh I send my kids to the Private School, I can't have them anywhere near the common working classes! I did make a complaint however, about one of the children's au pairs taking them to school in a Ford Escort, it just lowers the whole tone of the school!

(how are you mate? Thought this might cheer you up a tad!)

I hope you bashed the manky old thing with your range rover!

ah yabvu as you should have slapped the woman in the street, set fire to the card and posted it through their letterbox, deducted your quarterly phonebill from your cleaners wages and taken to the mother with a lipstick.

as for newbies, nah yanbu.

Oh, but I'm great ta. Bracing myself for a trip to regents street with four kids later. Why do I do this to myself?

How's you?

No, you're wrong, and what's more, Cliff is pants.

And you smell musty.

How very dare you insult me! I come on here, asking for genuine advice and I get abused! Well I'm reporting your post, you horrible person Hecate, what kind of name is that anyway? Think that's a good name do you? Think you'll win the competition do you? Well not when I've reported you you won't, they'll take you off the list so nerrr!

(I'm ok Primark, got dd with me asleep, she's ill, so I'm off work and dh has gone to work ill - his works do tonight an' all)

you shoudl have keyed her car then

You can't be right and everyone else is wrong because....I'm right and everyone else is wrong!

Oh dear is it a free bar? At least if so he can numb the illness. It seems every fucker is ill atm, we've all got snotty noses and coughs and so do all my friends and their kids. Bloody winter. I ate it.

You ate winter? Really? How did that go?

I got brain freeze

You're all wrong - my DH is the only one who's ever right - well at least that's what he thinks!!!!!

Everyone's dh is having an affair, everyone's in-laws stink, the nativities have been ruined by commoners and Boden deliveries have not been made.

CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!!

Well you should feel sorry for my friend , her lovely local butchers has had to close down, meaning she won't get the order she placed in August for venison, a hand polished goose and organic pigs in blankets fashioned by artisans. She is devastated. (parts of this post are true)

Devils-Is your friend Nigella by any chance?