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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave kids in a locked, alarmed car in broad daylight, and dash to cashpoint for 2 minutes

175 replies

cilitbang · 18/12/2008 12:02

Is it realistically, really dangerous to do this? Has anyone ever heard of kids coming to any danger in this situation? Its a very occasional habit that I am trying to stop doing at all but am interested to hear of anyone who knows,realistically what danger a child could come to in this situation if its just for 2 minutes. Some nosey cow had a go at me for doing it this morning and I now feel so, so guilty.

OP posts:
babylovessanta · 18/12/2008 22:03

Children in reception (at my DC school) are unattended at times , the walk from their class rooms to the office to do chores and go to the toilets unattended.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 18/12/2008 22:04

Er my dh is not the best person to ask to be frank. He once left all three of mine (aged 10, 7 and 5) alone next to our holiday pool about 10 minutes after we arrived. I would not do that but would, as would he, leave them in a car for a couple of minutes.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:04

no sorry - shit doesn't just "happen". It is our responsibility as adults around children to assess possible risk. I look after children for a living and if I had the laid back attitude some of you have to your own children let alone other peoples - I would be in jail.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:05

babyloves....same at my DCs school - and the teachers wonder why DS1 manages to escape and hide from them..........

And they want to blame him?!

babylovessanta · 18/12/2008 22:06

What you do with other people's DC is another topic altogether.

babylovessanta · 18/12/2008 22:07

Er, whonicked - don't you think that behaviour needs sorting in a school age child?

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 18/12/2008 22:08

I am not having a go btw, was just wondering.

I am a worrier too, I panic sometimes when I know the childminder or family are taking DD in a car for a long journey, panic about her getting lost or something happening. I dont like her sleeping in her room when she is poorly, what if she stops breathing? A slight bump on the head would have me in hysterics, what if she had concussion? What if she chokes on certain foods? I was terrified about the idea of her going to school, what if she gets picked on? What if something happens - too many children and not enough teachers watching if she has an accident/chokes etc

Anything I could imagine would be on my mind, but I had to let go a little. I was getting to a point where I was getting afraid to step outside my front door. But then terrified about being in the house because of all the stuff that could go wrong in the house!

I still do worry. But she is never going to appreciate or experience life unless I let her off my apron strings. And I wont enjoy being a parent spending all that time worrying rather than relaxing.

I just need to work out school attendance!

alfiemama · 18/12/2008 22:08

Babylovessanta, I understand, but my ds cant go to the toilet on his own, or do chores Im afraid, but I do see what you mean.

Im not slating anyone for it, its their choice, me personally, I could not do it, I would not be happy with the risk. But thats just my personal opinion. All I was saying is that unusual things do happen and it can only take a minute to occur.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:08

My main worry in all this is that cars are not reliable - handbrakes fail and cars roll off down the road. Especially if on a hill.....

I'm not going OTT with the what ifs - they are all things that have happened to people I know.

I know of a childminder who left a child sleeping in her car right outside her front door. Another car drove into it. Luckily child sleeping in a volvo - could have been alot worse had it been sleeping in a kia or similar........

babylovessanta · 18/12/2008 22:09

Fair dos alfiemama.

RandomStranger · 18/12/2008 22:10

oi oi oi Nickname.

We all have different levels that we judge risk at.

Accidents do happen, of course they do.

BUT they are precisely that - accidents.

Wind yer neck in love.

kif · 18/12/2008 22:10

saggar - it's not logical

"my child can't escape their car seat - but I'm afraid of them escaping the car."

my car is unstealable without the key. I also believe it has a safety feature that means the front doors can always be opened from the inside.

This isn't a thread about cars bursting into flames. Let me put it straight back at you: how likely is it that someone will abduct your child in the 'minute' you're in the shop. THAT rally is a case of seeing bogeymen behind every corner.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:11

babyloves - yes I do actually agree with you - it needs sorting - was a teacher in a prior life - but I did question how he managed to get from the classroom in a lesson, out the corridor, out of a door, across the playground into another classroom (one of those fabby temporary jobs) get to the ICT suite and hide under the table -before anyone even realised he has gone.....

seeker · 18/12/2008 22:12

Saggar - it wouldn't even cross my mind that it wasn't OK to leave a 10, a 7 and a 5 alone in a car for 10 minutes!

I think it's such a shame that children are watched all the time. As my mother says 'they have no private life at all nowadays"!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 18/12/2008 22:13

That wasn't in the car seeker. It was by the hotel swimming pool.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:13

Random
...nice to be so confident that you can accept accidents happen that have nothing to do with you

Me - I'd rather try the preventative route........
Neck doesn't wind btw - I am officially on my soap box

kif · 18/12/2008 22:13

10, 7 and 5 is very different to my crowd of 4, 2 and 6nmonths. Something really is always happening,

babylovessanta · 18/12/2008 22:14

whonicked... Well obviously that is different then.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:15

seeker - I agree with you on that one - it is a shame that children have to be "watched" all the time - but its a sad fact of modern life that "Big Brother" ie Social Services and the like are always watching innocent parents trying to do their best - and happily ignoring the ones who are abusing their children.......

seeker · 18/12/2008 22:17

No they aren't!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 18/12/2008 22:17

kif - tis not my logic.

None of it is logical. I don't have a problem with children left in cars or bogeymen or combustible cars or cars being stolen.

alfiemama · 18/12/2008 22:17

I agree Seeker it is a shame, but is that the difference in our world now.

I do think a big part of this debate, has got to come down to age. Mine are little wee ones, how I will feel when my 2 is 10 (obv cant count the 4 year old, as dont think will have the same level of maturity) Im not sure, I would hope I would be ok leaving him. God youve got me thinking now about that one.

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:18

ok seeker maybe that was a generalisation - but I do feel that I am being watched alot - and so I tend to worry more than most i suppose abotu what MIGHT happen

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 22:20

alfiemama

good point - a 7 year old is entirely different to a 2 year old or a 10 year old....although in theory I suppose a 7 year old could do more damage in a car than a 2 year old...........

Its a tough one to call actually isn't it - I mean the original question I took to mean parking on the road outside a high street bank - but if you are parked in tesco car park right by the cahs machine - it somehow has an entirely different feel to it doesn't it?

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 18/12/2008 22:21

"Social Services and the like are always watching innocent parents trying to do their best"

No, they are not.