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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what really is the majority social demographic on Mumsnet?

331 replies

CestNoel · 18/12/2008 11:23

I see soooo many threads along the lines of:

  • should I sack my au-pair?

  • anybody know any good cleaners?

  • my career is too important for me to go to my child's concert...

  • can I get free transport to a private school?!?!?!?

  • my dd has been given a non-organic fruit drink at nursery

  • drats. My new Boden trousers are too short.

And then, everyone is up in arms at the idea of spending £10 on a present to take to a child's birthday party and we have all sorts of suggestions as to how to buy something suitably non-tack like for about £1.49

Is the beauty of Mumsnet I suppose.......

OP posts:
twinsetiscrapatflouncing · 19/12/2008 00:06

I only have one child which is why I had the space for an aupair.

Zazette · 19/12/2008 00:10

perhaps 'degree of readiness to judge other people' should be one of the criteria for determining class...?

cory · 19/12/2008 00:16

twinsetiscrapatflouncing on Fri 19-Dec-08 00:06:37

"I only have one child which is why I had the space for an aupair."

Ah, lots of two bedroom houses around here. So would the aupair sleep with the dc or with you and your dh?

TinselianAstra · 19/12/2008 00:27

Hi guys, back form the pub (can;t type, drunbk, just handed in thesis about 6 pages of conversation ago). DP feels that you should know that he is scoffig chips with mayonnaise, so he can't be posh. Not sure what that means, maybe he is German.

Anyway, I wanted to say that middle class is NOT just being anxious and worrying about what upper class people think of you. Now it seems to be the fashioj to insist that you are working class, and be appalled that onyone might think you are middle class, instead.

Aaaanyway, wanted also to say that althought we have degrees and stuff DP did buy a really big TV for our flat (40 inch, but I think it';s a very tasteful-looking 40 inch TV), possibly in rebellion against his upbringing, which I wuold classify as genteel poverty. (very mc ot posher values but no money with which to implement them)

Sorry, drunk, very bad typing. Love to everyone. Xxs and huns all round.

twinsetiscrapatflouncing · 19/12/2008 00:41

I never said I had a tiny house or a 2 bedroomed house I have said I have a very average 3 bedroomed semi, we moved dd into the box room so the au pair could have dd room which was a double room. I have never cracked on to be poverty stricken but to have a very average income. I do have a disbaility that requires us to have some help in the home so our family can function , the help I get for my disaility contributed towards the aupair's wages,

twinsetiscrapatflouncing · 19/12/2008 00:42

Tinselian I love chips and mayonaise.

TinselianAstra · 19/12/2008 00:45

Twinset, aren't you the one who was invited round to tea and cakes with your worryingly posh neighbours?

How did it go?

I like chips and mayonnaise too (I had chicken nuggets from the chip shop, go me!), I just didn't undertsnad why DP thought it made him un-posh.

PS flouncing is rubbish

p1umpudding · 19/12/2008 01:40

To respond to the enquiry on social demographics:

I have a degree, speak three languages, live in North London and went to a selective grammer school in Hertfordshire (State School). I also have a professional qualification and used to work in HR before I had my little girl. I shop at either Waitrose/ M&S (because they're local) and wear clothes from Boden/ Hobbs/ LK Bennett. My husband is a Chartered Accountant and works in finance near Moorgate. I used to employ a cleaner, but as I'm at home I now do it myself (albeit pushing things to the edges )

I now choose to be a SAHM, probably won't go back to work aim have more children in the next couple of years.

In my 20s, I was ambitious and studied hard, but I don't think that's such a bad thing . Now I'm in my 30s I put much more focus on friendships and family life.

cory · 19/12/2008 08:29

twinset, I didn't mean that I thought you personally had a two bed room house; just pointing out that a three bedroom house isn't necessarily average everywhere. And there is a big gap between being poverty stricken and being able to afford a three bedroom house.

We do have one, but that is only because we married and bought it during the '90s slump; noone on our income could buy one today. Doesn't necessarily mean they'd be poverty stricken.

blinks · 19/12/2008 09:05

CHIPS

CHEESE

AND

MAYONNAISE

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 19/12/2008 09:11

Wrt all this au-pair/cleaner stuff mosst of the people I know who are extremely M/C don't have cleaners or au-pairs. Because their hubby earns enough for them to stay at home and do coffee mornings and ponce around in a pinny whilst all their kids are at school, and these are, in the main, intelligent educated women who don't see the need in spending out for someone to do it for them when they are perfectly able to do it themselves.

The people who use any form of childcare are more often (in my circles anyway) the ones who are W/C.

FWIW, if I needed enough childcare to validate having an au pair I'd find a way round it rather than use a CM/Nursery which are much more expensive, less flexible and unable to cover illnesses.

RaspberryBlower · 19/12/2008 09:12

Chips, cheese, mayonnaise and a pickled egg. (Not really, I'm far too middle class for a pickled egg).

ilovelovemydog · 19/12/2008 09:14

Isn't more than 2 in nursery/CM, an au pair or nanny is less expensive?

georgimama · 19/12/2008 09:19

Desi, you know how the other day you gave me a "friendly" heads up that I sounded like a dick?

Just thought I'd reciprocate.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 19/12/2008 09:20

It's much cheaper for an au pair than a CM, plus they can always do the job, they don't close for holidays, they don't shut at 6pm, they don't need children off for 48 hours after vomiting, they don't close because of snow, or frozen pipes, they can pick children up from school if there has been a problem like an accident or illness or school has to close. Much, much better IMO if you can find the room to have one.

georgimama · 19/12/2008 09:24

The only thing stopping me from having an au pair is the fact that our three bedroom house is really a two bed with a garret which has been plastered in the attic. You can put a guest in there for a couple of nights, it is very bijou and cosy, but you couldn't expect someone to tolerate it as a bedroom.

When we move, especially if we are having another child, I am definitely having an au pair. And I would expect them to be studying, and only doing light duties for me like collecting kids from school, not slave labour.

ilovelovemydog · 19/12/2008 09:32

Thanks VS

VirginBoffinMum · 19/12/2008 09:53

raspberryblower, I have always wondered what pickled eggs taste like. I have seen thenm in the chip shop next to the guacamole.

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen · 19/12/2008 09:56

Although in fairness VS our cm does all of those things and in 2 years only took 4 weeks holiday a year, notified a year in advance. She even had salt, etc around and was a wonder

BucksFizz · 19/12/2008 09:57

Message deleted

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 19/12/2008 09:58

Does your CM have other children too PEachy?
DD's old childminder was great in that she would do school pick-ups because of illness or injury but she couldn't have any sick children as her other mindees would be put at risk

PeachyBidsYouNadoligLlawen · 19/12/2008 10:01

Sometimes VS- but the other mum and I got on and didn't mind the odd bug (saying that ds3 never gets ill) and the baby places were taken by her own grandchild

gabygirl · 19/12/2008 10:21
RaspberryBlower · 19/12/2008 13:43

lol at guacamole.

ScottishMummy · 19/12/2008 14:00

well hell can i get a gardener to work for less than minimum wage?hell they expect rights and all sorts these days

tsk

used to be able to pay the wee man in hand,and quaff bucky whilst he grafted.so i am too too busy to chase up my boden linen trousers order at the mo