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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have had a go at 2 old bats in the supermarket?

52 replies

sb6699 · 15/12/2008 14:19

Just back from supermarket with dd's 1&2 (age 4 and 2).

While I was standing looking at a shelf dd2 was running round my legs singing. These two old bats walk by with their faces contorted saying in a loud voice "that is so awful" - wtf.

Rather than ignoring them I turned round and said "is the noise from a 2 year old child singing really that awful". Their reply was at 2 years old I should be telling her to be quiet and that the supermarket is not a playground!. My response to that was basically to tell her if that was her opinion she should think of staying at home with doors and windows locked and cotton wool in her ears etc, etc.

Fair enough she was getting rather loud and I was about to ask her to pipe down but is it really that bad to hear a child trying to sing?

I am so

So was IBU?

OP posts:
roundcornvirgin · 15/12/2008 14:21

What was she singing?

crumpet · 15/12/2008 14:21

Well, if you thought it was loud enough to want her to pipe down then yes I think yabu.

bogwobbit · 15/12/2008 14:24

Yab ( a bit)u. You obviously thought she was too loud so it's only to be expected that other people might too.
It was a bit rude of her to comment but equally rude of you to respond. Live and let live and all that

Original poster
sb6699 · 15/12/2008 14:25

LOl rouncorn - I have no idea she can't quite talk yet!

I think if she was being destructive, tantruming and throwing things off the shelves, I could have got their point - but singing! She was loud enough that you would have heard her if you were in the same aisle but probably not if you were any further away.

OP posts:
roundcornvirgin · 15/12/2008 14:25

If she was singing something like boyzone then yabu. 'Old bats' tend to have different and sometimes unreasonable ideas about how chn should behave, but being rude back is generally not the answer.

mrsruffallo · 15/12/2008 14:25

Surely it is better to laugh or ignore such comments rather than get into a slanging match with an elderly lady

devoutsceptic · 15/12/2008 14:26

She was rude. I'd have been pissed off too. I absolutely hate that kind of passive aggressive behaviour, ie pretending to talk to a friend, but really having a go at you/your kid - makes me see red.

loobeylou · 15/12/2008 14:27

I would have been tempted to say to DD "say Happy Christmas to the nice ladies X" and done a sweet grin and said "isn't it lovely to hear children being so happy"

Original poster
sb6699 · 15/12/2008 14:27

I don't think I've phrased it too well. I wouldn't really class them as "elderly" - probably their mid-60's.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 15/12/2008 14:28

YANBU - don't blame you for being provoked by their lack of manners. Being elderly does not equal being rude and intolerant.

roundcornvirgin · 15/12/2008 14:28

Oh I like loobeylou's idea! That would have floored them!

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 15/12/2008 14:29

I would have just ignored them in the first place, there was no need to have a go at them, just let it go over your head

Ohforfoxsake · 15/12/2008 14:30

Yes YABU.

You should have joined in, and perhaps waltzed around the sprouts while you were at it.

miserable buggers.

bigTillyMint · 15/12/2008 14:31

Old bats are SOOOO out of touch with the real world. I think you were quite restrained

poshwellies · 15/12/2008 14:32

Why do elderly people feel the need to be rude? Just because you've hit 75,it doesn't give you the right to publicly remark,tut and mutter under your breath at others,why should people put up with it?

I would of told her to mind her own business.

Original poster
sb6699 · 15/12/2008 14:33

Liked Loobey's idea as well - unfortunately DD1 piped up "why are those ladies being mean about my baby sister?" That seemed to quieten them slightly.

At that, I had to walk away PMSL

OP posts:
roundcornvirgin · 15/12/2008 14:33

Good for dd!

Lulumama · 15/12/2008 14:34

surely you were just as rude to respond

i don;t get this thing of having a go back,surely just walking passed, head held high, rather than getting into a slanging match is more dignified and a better example to your DD?

loobeylou · 15/12/2008 14:34

well done DD1 !

poshwellies · 15/12/2008 14:34

Out of the mouths of babes eh?

Ha!

Original poster
sb6699 · 15/12/2008 14:36

Now I am calm(er), yes I should probably have ignored them but they were making such a fuss people were starting to turn around.

Although the very elderly couple standing next to us invited DD's round to sing carols to folk who would appreciate them!

OP posts:
devoutsceptic · 15/12/2008 14:37

I might have said, 'Sing loudly for the poor old ladies darling!' with a savage smile. Two can do the passive aggressive thing!

SnowOfHands · 15/12/2008 14:41

I'd be very careful in future. DH (police officer) was very late home a while ago because half an hour before the end of his shift he had to attend a punch up in Sainsbo's. Two pensioners brawling over some carrots. They're dangerous.

Original poster
sb6699 · 15/12/2008 14:41

SOH - it was Sainsburys we were in!

OP posts:
MinesApint · 15/12/2008 14:42

Oh no, I am 100% behind you. People need a deterrent to making passive aggressive stage whispered remarks, and that deterrent is somebody who is prepared to challenge them (hopefully making the anti social whinger choose their battles more selectively next time)

I hardly see how you fairly measured response (no name calling, swearing etc) can be deemed a "slanging match", or rude. Assertive yes, rude - no. (Rude is "Oh feck off you miserable old battleaxe and go dig your own grave / or similar)

It's all very well to advocate 'ignoring' such remarks and maintaining a dignified uninterest but that doesn't work for all of us. Speaking from a personal pov if I tried to ignore rude remarks made for my 'benefit' I would endlessly obsess and relive it later and get more and more irritated retrospectively. However I find that a calm assertive rejoinder tends to put it to bed nicely. Well done - she might think twice before harrassing other mums of pre-schoolers in future