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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

719 replies

morningpaper · 14/12/2008 22:34

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

OP posts:
revjustaboutdrinksmulledwine · 15/12/2008 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anna8888 · 15/12/2008 12:35

CoV - you are getting unnecessarily upset. If, in the culture/circles you move in, it isn't damaging in any way to your DH's career for his DW to send in cakes and you love baking, that's fine - do whatever makes all of you happy.

I quite like baking and cooking. But I do it in a domestic setting only - first of all, I really don't have the time to bake/cook for anyone else and secondly, baking for non-domestic purposes/outside a very close circle wouldn't get anyone any appreciation around here. So better not to try .

BucksFizz · 15/12/2008 12:36

Message deleted

georgimama · 15/12/2008 12:38

I am stunned that whether or not you bake treats occasionally for DH to take into work could be so contraversial. You people will argue about anything it seems. You can't all be this bored.

May I suggest that those who don't have time to bake spend less time on Mumsnet? That should help.

Anna8888 · 15/12/2008 12:39

And I am doing my best to explain that "my attitude to baking" for DH/DP's colleagues is inevitably coloured by how baking for them would be perceived.

Or should I be all gung-ho and go on a baking binge and send in cakes and make my DP and me look like total idiots? (and destroy my relationship with DP in the process?)

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 15/12/2008 12:40

Anna8888 you're in France aren't you? Are there any other people on here living in France that can back up this anti-cake feeling? Who knew cakes could be so political. I am trying to envisage anyone when asked if they would like a piece of cake from a work collegue would get a look of horror across their face and rush away muttering the devil, the devil whilst crossing said person off a promotion list.

In fact can you imagine that reason for non-promotion - his wife bakes cake. I'm sure there must be an employment law to cover this.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 12:43

What Anna says sounds strange and unbelievable to me too, but I guess if it's not the accepted culture then that's the way it is.
Has anyone ever tried bringing in cakes, Anna? IF so, what has the reaction been?
Would be interesting to do it just for the reaction!

georgimama · 15/12/2008 12:43

Ana, you do tickle me. What does your other half do for a living? Why would cake be so ludicrous in his professional environment? You say it is cultural thing, you aren't French and haven't always lived in France, surely you must be able to explain...

BucksFizz · 15/12/2008 12:45

Message deleted

Anna8888 · 15/12/2008 12:45

I have explained.

poshwellies · 15/12/2008 12:45

"May I suggest that those who don't have time to bake spend less time on Mumsnet? That should help"

Some of us don't have the inclination,thanks.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 12:46

Af, georgimama, to say we're all so boring, you've been lured into the big cake debate!!
I think this debate isn't as shallow as it first appears , though. It's interesting that some women still feel demeaned and somehow doentrodden by this very simple act. It smacks of insecurity to me.

Fennel · 15/12/2008 12:47

I'm with MP on this.

People in my workplaces who brought in cakes baked by a wife would be ridiculed, but people who bring in cakes they've made are welcomed. There's a huge difference in making your colleagues some cakes and in making them for your partner's colleagues.

But I do work in raving hotbeds of feminism, this sort of thing would be very noticed.

Anna8888 · 15/12/2008 12:48

I actually think that the debate is about the accepted cultural boundaries between domestic and professional life. Obviously we all need to pay heed to the boundaries of the particular culture we live in - or else our professional lives will be negatively impacted.

BucksFizz · 15/12/2008 12:48

Message deleted

BucksFizz · 15/12/2008 12:49

Message deleted

Gateau · 15/12/2008 12:51

If that's the way it is in France, I'm very glad I don't live there.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 12:53

Here's one for the anti-cakes at work brigade:
My DH loves baking too and is very good at it.
So how would you lot view it if I brought into work cakes made by my DH?

Janni · 15/12/2008 12:57

There's no liberation in feeling answerable to other rather opinionated women about how you divvy up the jobs in your marriage.

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 15/12/2008 12:57

I've just checked with a male friend who has worked in France
" you have worked in France. If your wife/partner had baked a cake for you to take into the office would it be frowned apon in the office? Is there a france cultural thing that disallows you to bring in homebaked goodies into the office. I am having a discussion about this on an online forum so of course this is very important.
"
response
" I've just checked with my colleague who's 100% French from France and who previously worked in France, and he confirmed that it's not something weird."

So it's ok Gateau you could still live in France if you wanted.

BucksFizz · 15/12/2008 13:00

Message deleted

bloss · 15/12/2008 13:00

Message withdrawn

georgimama · 15/12/2008 13:04

I didn't say you were boring Gatueau, I said you were bored. I am bored, I don't mind admitting it.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 13:06

Yep, I am bored - I'm at work and everything is slowing down in the run-up to Xmas.
I wouldn't DREAM of spending an iota of my time on this at home. Not that would be boring.

georgimama · 15/12/2008 13:07

Very true, Janni, very true.

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