to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

[morningpaper]

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

OMG! You people should do more cake eating and less thinking about cake making!!

dh takes cakes he's baked into work. He also usually bakes cookies for when people come to visit.

Yet when I do similar, especially as a "SAHM", I'm apparently a possessive, down-trodden, gender-betrayer!!

Sometimes cake is just fucking cake!!!

wilf - they are all austrian and german

...breathes out

excuse me summat, did I say I didnt do my share of cake eating? I just think about it, thats all!

God. I'm really quite sad now.

or we could just all stop fucking assuming that someone who likes baking and likes an excuse to do it is the "little wife at home". Ah, fuck it. I'm genuinely and annoyingly pissed off now. I hate the crappy infantile "oh, pole-dancing is fine, I'm exploiting me, no really", but I don't think I like this version much more "oh, the thing I do that I KNOW is not from any pressure from my dh, which I like doing, I really mustn't do because some people might think I'm supporting the subservience of women".

I just think there has to be something better, something saner, something that assumes respect as a default.

I make a mean Sachertorte. I made it for my Austrian MIL's birthday party.

I agree with you Habbibu. I can't imagine any real-life situation where I would make any judgement about a man or a woman just because the woman had baked a cake for the man to bring to work. I wouldn't bat an eye.

"sometimes a cake is just a cake!!"

I hope you have this cake mould Habb

at Vag Art cake...

I made a penis out of moulding icing once, for a friend's birthday. then we cut it down the middle in front of him. He did wince.

What's that at the top left of the vulva cake - a dissected ovary?

Oh don't be sad, Habbibu! Your arguments are completely sound, I think - it's simply that I don't htink things are quite as far along as you do.

FWIW I just asked DP and (after he'd docked my allowance for overcooking the asparagus) he said that he would assume that anyone who did so would assume in turn that the issues were so obvious as to not be worth worrying about.

He first said "what kind of cake?", then "Well, I'd probably trust it" btw.

Oh. Please. God. All the cakebakers MUST order one of those and take THAT sort of cake into work and then report back...?

I wondered about the silver balls in goo... I wondered if it was fancy jism but I honestly don't have any idea

Perhaps I should get a mirror out...

No, it's some kind of weird AMerican mooncup, cos she's obviously having a really heavy period...

But onebat, you're saying, in a way, that we have to wait to do these plain ol' normal friendly things until the world has properly woken up and no woman is downtrodden - it's a bit Xenia-esque, I think - the way she says you shouldn't take mat leave because it's sexist, and yes, in a way it is, and in a way that's bonkers.

I don't understand your DP's comment, btw - he trusts cake? As in he communes with it, or just assumes it's not poisoned.

wtf with the dickie-bow on the vulva?

And where is the pubic hair?

and is it a .. menstruating cake? Really?

I don't think dp would trust this sort of cake.

It must be an ovary, I think. The woman's interior turning inside out through her subservient cake-baking.

The pubic hair is the dickie-bow - if you look closely it's stripy, not flat.

well obviously

don't you wear a dickie bow there? especially when visiting your husband's office

yes, in a way it is bonkers. As I said, I'm not sure that cake-baking falls into that category. I'm thinking about it.

Re DP: I said, what would you do if, say, you were in an office, say, and just say (stay with me dp) someone offered you cake that their wife had baked for them to bring in for everyone, what would you think? dp? DP?"

When he said "I think I'd trust them," he was in fact weighing up the likelihood that the bearer of the cake was trying to poison him. Perhaps to steal something that he coveted, or to take sole credit for some shared enterprise. Who knows how his brain works? Not I.

But should anything fall into that category - things that might be ok Come The Revolution, but that we shouldn't do until then (it'll drive baking underground, mark my words)?

I mean, I think pole-dancing is forever out as it is, pretty literally, wank, and will never be anything but sexual objectification. Baking a cake, if you can get away from the nurture cake=breastfeeding guff (google that one, mp, do) which I don't buy, isn't like that.

I don't know Habbibu

we are worlds apart

TBH gingerbread cottages make me feel overcome with a sort of existential crisis