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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

719 replies

morningpaper · 14/12/2008 22:34

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Swedes · 17/12/2008 22:11

Habbibu - I bake often. I bake for my family and I bake for other people. I just wouldn't send a cake in with DP to work. I don't think anyone is suggesting baking a Sachertorte should only be done in a cellar Fritzl.

Original poster
morningpaper · 17/12/2008 22:12

so many funny posts

OP posts:
Habbibu · 17/12/2008 22:13

We're not, though, mp - you and I are pretty similar in many ways, I've always thought. Go on - what do you think I'm like, based on this thread?

Habbibu · 17/12/2008 22:14

Hyperbole, swedes. I really don't like sachertorte, actually...

Original poster
morningpaper · 17/12/2008 22:16

I don't know Habbibu, I'm thinking, but all I can see are vast villages made from gingerbread...

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 17/12/2008 22:17
Wink
OP posts:
Swedes · 17/12/2008 22:18

Yes, I'm a bit worried about the "gingerbread house for toddlers".

Habbibu · 17/12/2008 22:20

It's funny - I am much more vicious in real life than on here. It's for TODDLERS, MP. a gingerbread house, just the one, which was easy to make, is full of sweets, will make a bunch of 2 year olds and their parents happy and tooth-rotted. You bastards.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly · 17/12/2008 22:20

well, yes, I do think there are many things which history has indicated should fall into that category. If one thinks about race, for example? No-one would consider that the recent racist past has lost its power to hurt, even undermine the present, I don't think.

I don't think believe we are yet at a stage where we can reclaim any activity which was heavily gendered in the very recent past. I mean we can, but we have to be forgiving of those who still feel the undercurrents of history.

This is about the principal, not specifically cake-baking btw

Habbibu · 17/12/2008 22:20

WHY! WHY ARE YOU WORRIED? YOU FRAEKS.

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 17/12/2008 22:23

*soothes Habbibu with chocolate cake made by the hands of eunuchs.

Original poster
morningpaper · 17/12/2008 22:25

I feel the under currants of history

OP posts:
Nighbynight · 17/12/2008 22:26

Raisin a laugh, MP?

onebatmotherofgoditschilly · 17/12/2008 22:27

And Habbs, you might agree that the 'oh do stop fussing, it's only acake/pole/blackandwhiteminstrel'approach tends to have an agenda, and one which is by and large conservative?

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 17/12/2008 22:28

have you really just equated cake baking with immigration and racism?

twitteringbirds · 17/12/2008 22:29

DH bakes cakes to take into his office sometimes. And he often makes my lunch too.

I had no idea this was such a social hot potato.

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 17/12/2008 22:30

ah twitteringbirds apparently it's only a problem if the wife does it so you are free to continue as you were.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly · 17/12/2008 22:30

No, I haven't.
I argued that there should be some matters which fall into the category 'Things Which Shouldn't Be Done Because They Might Well Be Misperceived'.

poinsettydog · 17/12/2008 22:31

dh can bake cakses to take into his office. But nit for you to take in to yours.

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 17/12/2008 22:32

*understands why Habbibu felt the need to use capitals.

twitteringbirds · 17/12/2008 22:32

I've never taken his cakes into work - not to SHARE anyway

Threadworrm · 17/12/2008 22:33

This is hysterical. So much lucidity to so little service.

Which puns have been done already?

Is onebat trying to have her cake and eat it too?

Does Habbibu's conscience need self-raising?

Can anyone talk some plain flour common sense?

Is the intensity of MP's objection to wife-produced cake over-egging the pudding?

Is there a nut-free version of this thread?

poinsettydog · 17/12/2008 22:33

well that's alright then, twitterinh

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 17/12/2008 22:34

Right I had friends round for supper and one of them had taken cakes into work made by the league of friends. Cakes which were made in kitchens that were not industrial by someones wife (probably). How do we feel about those?

Habbibu · 17/12/2008 22:37

Yes, I think I do agree with that to an extent, but I think that blanket approaches to anything are not very constructive.

What I mean is for me, in my situation, it is just only a cake. And for some women it isn't - it's something born of insecurity, maybe, or a feeling that it's expected, or required, and yes, lots of stuff like that.

So where does that leave me? In some ways a model of feminism - well-educated, confident, articulate, in a very well-balanced and respectful relationship.

One the other hand, I work PT, but in a senior level in a professional role. I like to bake, and am happy for DH's colleagues to eat anything I have left over, or to help him out with something for a party, say. It doesn't occur to me that they'd DARE think less of me because of it.

And I don't - and I imagine this will sound stupid - but I really don't get why you would bake a cake if you didn't want to, or felt that you should, etc etc. I just wouldn't. But I really don't have much of a sense of duty...