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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my local cancel to pay for transport to a private school

458 replies

tootyflooty · 13/12/2008 12:23

My dd has been offered a place at a theatre school, it is fee paying but not local and they do not have scholerships. I asked the council if they would provide the cost of a train pass, but were told no, because it is not our local state school.My argument is that by funding my dd education for the next 5 years (not easily affordable for us)I am saving the local education authority vast sums of money as they will not be paying for her place at the local state school, it seems unfair that we are penalised for our decision, She would get a free pass if our local school was over 3 miles away.Sorry to ramble but we have never had handouts from anyone and this seems grossly unfair.

OP posts:
KatieDD · 15/12/2008 10:41

Do you know what I landed in the UK in 2000 with a 5 week old baby, a 2nd hand pram and £20 in my pocket.
I lived in a council flat, got a job, saved £3k and bought a house, sold it, got married and worked my ass off to afford DD2 and DD3. The harder I worked the luckier I got, funny that eh
Excuses excuses excuses are all we ever hear on this site.
Unless you are ill or your child is ill there is no good reason at all why anybody cannot be sucessful by your own standard, not mine or xenia's.
But it's far easier to sit back and blame the hand you got dealt isn't it.

WalkinginWaynettaWonderland · 15/12/2008 10:42

The title of this thread makes me LOL eveytime I see it in active convos.

SantasNuttySTaff · 15/12/2008 10:44

Some teachers/ doctors etc actually preffer working directly with children/patients etc rather than dealing with management/ head teacher paperwork type bollox because they feel they are doing more good/ rewarding work that way rather than being bogged down with usesless paperwork, no?

Tortington · 15/12/2008 10:49

"No point in getting in a state about it if you can't afford it or just have rubbishy local state schools and no choice evne of a good state one although you could get on yoru bike and move to an area with better schools of course as people do every day when they move out of London as soon as their children hit 11 years unless they are able to afford schools in London and pay fees"

you have no idea of the world that the majority of society lives in do you?

yes, just move people - go on.

katie - i applaud your industry, however you dont really answer a question.

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 10:50

'Empire'??

Katie I would love to know where you can buy a house for three grand these days - that's all you're allowed to save if you receive benefits. after that you have to go it alone.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 10:50

And bully for them. Somebody has to be in charge, somebody has to do the paperwork, make the hard decisions and be accountable, those people get paid accordingly.

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 10:51

Oh feck off everyone. I am going back to bed. This is so pointless.

Tortington · 15/12/2008 10:52

but you are saying ( please correct me for i m paraphrasing) that the teachers who are not head teachers are not working hard enough, the social workers who dont become senior social workers ( have tobe fking senior at 50k - like deputy director of soemthing) dont work hard enough?

your whole argument is - if you dont earn 50k its your own fault. true?

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 10:53

Why would you want to be on benefits - this is what pisses me off, so go it alone, get out of that mentality if you want to succeed for a start.
I saved £3k (for a 5% deposit on a £60k house in 2000) whilst working and paying for childcare because I looked around me at the shithole I lived in and knew the only way out was to work.

SantasNuttySTaff · 15/12/2008 10:54

Katie -Not bully for them really, yes somebody does have to do paperwork etc all i'm saying is some people choose to take the more rewarding work in their eyes regardless of the money just for the love of the job and the good that it does

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 10:55

Absolutely, who else are you going to blame, if you've got two arms, two legs, you make your choices.
As for you crazyloon, back to bed says it all really doesn't it ?

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 10:56

Santa - so they make the choice not to earn £50k that's entirely different from the option not being available to them isn't it ?

gabygirl · 15/12/2008 10:57

"on average those that work super hard whether as cleaners or doctors tend to earn more on average"

Sorry - doctors generally earn 2, 3 or sometimes 4 times average wage, whether they work a lot or they work a little. An experienced GP can work one day a week and bring in the equivalent of a full-time average wage.

People on minimum wage can only make a living by working ridiculous hours that damage their health and the happiness and wellbeing of their families.

I agree with Xenia that private education sometimes gives children an advantage, an unfair advantage.

My dd will be sitting grammar school entrance exams next year.

I will be pointing out to her that she will be competing with children who have been taught in classes of 15 for the past 6 years, and who have had a lot of extra money spent on private tuition in addition to their private school fees.

I want her to know that the children who get into these schools are not necessarily any cleverer than she is, or harder working - they have just had educational advantages that she hasn't had, and that therefore she shouldn't feel bad if she doesn't get one of the very tiny number of places on offer.

I think it's good for children to understand that we don't live in a meritocracy and that the children of rich people are much more likely to be successful and rich themselves than the children of poor people - no matter what their actual potential or IQ.

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:00

'As for you crazyloon, back to bed says it all really doesn't it ?
'

It says that I have had about 10 minutes sleep all night because I have two sick children and the flu.

that is what it says. no need to be so bitchy or assume anything about me that I haven't said on this thread...

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:00

I would really appreciate an apology for what you implied Katie.

SantasNuttySTaff · 15/12/2008 11:01

i am on benefits currently (incapacity) i have a slipped disc in my back that needs an operation and i also got made redundant, am 20 wks pg. i have worked really hard continuously since i was legally allowed to had saturday jobs since age 14 etc. and as soon as i am able i will be back to work doing whatever i can to make ends meet.

i feel guilty for claiming benefits. i am not in any mentality at all.

"Why would you want to be on benefits - this is what pisses me off",
NOBODY WANTS TO BE ON BENEFITS its not fun at all.

nappyaddict · 15/12/2008 11:02

But I presume your local school isn't over 3 miles away. The council only pays for people who live in the middle of nowhere and have no other option of a school over 3 miles away.

cory · 15/12/2008 11:03

Katie, you still haven't grasped the basic idea on which the economy rests: that you have to have a pyramid. One company director to a whole company full of workers. One headteacher to a whole staffroom full of teachers. Doesn't matter if every single one of those teachers is as bright and hardworking as the headteacher: you still only need one headteacher.

And the job done by those teachers is vital to the whole thing: there would be no point in having a headteacher if there weren't any teachers in the school.

Lots of teachers stay teachers because they happen to think they are extremely good at teaching and that they are doing good where they are. Not everybody has money as their prime motivator. And not everybody's success is measured in money. If you feel you can turn somebody's life round, as a social worker, as an educator, as a writer- that might actually feel just as much like success as if you'd had a massive pay rise.

fyi social workers and teachers have to make hard decisions every day. Fact.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:03

SantasNuttySTaff - that was directed/in response to you.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:03

wasn't i mean

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:04

just boggling at Xenia and her husband working evenings and sundays and weekends. Sure you got lots of cash but did either of you actually see your children?

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:05

?

Was that an apology? I don't think so. What you said was outrageous and very offensive. I'm actually very upset about it.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:07

No crazyloon it was not apology. Don't let me keep you up.

SantasNuttySTaff · 15/12/2008 11:09

it management job ratio to worker bee ratio though

if 50 people apply for the 1/2 management jobs available then 48/49 people do not have the option because only 1/2 people can fill the role

also people in management tend to stay in their positions for quite some time so the jobs aren't as readily available to people who want them

management structures are usualy quite small at the top

dyswim?

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:10

'"Why would you want to be on benefits - this is what pisses me off",'
Katie, we don't want to be on benefits but the only way off them is to toss dd into residential care which would cost the taxpayer £100,000 a year.
But if it will stop people sneering and calling us 'scroungers'.....