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AIBU?

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Original poster

to expect my local cancel to pay for transport to a private school

458 replies

tootyflooty · 13/12/2008 12:23

My dd has been offered a place at a theatre school, it is fee paying but not local and they do not have scholerships. I asked the council if they would provide the cost of a train pass, but were told no, because it is not our local state school.My argument is that by funding my dd education for the next 5 years (not easily affordable for us)I am saving the local education authority vast sums of money as they will not be paying for her place at the local state school, it seems unfair that we are penalised for our decision, She would get a free pass if our local school was over 3 miles away.Sorry to ramble but we have never had handouts from anyone and this seems grossly unfair.

OP posts:
SantasNuttySTaff · 15/12/2008 11:11

Cory - sorry x posts you put it so much better than me though

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:12

Fucking hell. I have been here for 2 years and never met with such abuse.

I can only assume you are just a very, very nasty person Katie. What are you basing your assumptions on?

I think you have a picture in your mind of a feckless idiot wearing a shellsuit and scrounging from the council for every little thing. Oh yes that's me alright...

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:14

Sure I get that, so one has to decide then what the priority is, is it becoming a high earner or loving your job, neither is a right or wrong decision but equally don't tell me that people cannot do anything, they can they just might not enjoy it.
I wouldn't pretend for a moment I liked my job that got me out of living in the council flat, I hated every moment but I knew it was a case of two years of pain to secure our families long term future so I got on with it.
We still live in a country of relative free choice so it's up to you what you do with that opportunity.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:15

Needmorecoffee, could you just post a link to where I have said that please ? I don't think so.

gabygirl · 15/12/2008 11:15

"just boggling at Xenia and her husband working evenings and sundays and weekends. Sure you got lots of cash but did either of you actually see your children?"

Yes - does make you wonder doesn't it?

I'm so glad I won't go to my deathbed thinking 'bloody hell, I wish I'd spent more time with my children instead of at work, earning money to pay for their Lacrosse lessons and skiing trips'

Because actually, once you've got your children educationally to the point where they can earn an salary they can live on doing interesting work, then anything else is an optional extra isn't it?

I'm a teacher. I love my job and find it hugely satisfying. I earn enough to put a roof over my head and not have to worry about debt too much. If my daughter could have what I've had I wouldn't feel as though I was setting her up for a bad life. And DH and I don't need to piss away their childhoods at work all the time to pay for private education for her so that she achieve this.

Or maybe Xenia's idea of true success in life is being rich. Do bankers really have much better lives than everyone else? I don't think so. Most of the people I know who earn average incomes doing jobs like teaching and nursing are happy with their lot. Their relationships are more important to them than their bank balances.

SantasNuttySTaff · 15/12/2008 11:15

Crazy - come over here and have a cuppa and choccy biccy with me

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:16

actually, maybe I will. I'm sick of working 24 hours a way for nothing but 'love'. I want holidays, clothes and nice stuff. Fuck love and being nice, I'm going for money!

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:17

Nutty you are most kind...thankyou

I can't believe I am so upset by something someone has said, without even knowing me or anything about me.

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:17

Katie - your post of 10. 53
'

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:18
Tortington · 15/12/2008 11:20

By KatieDD on Mon 15-Dec-08 10:01:25
"There's no reason why anyone can't earn £50k a year..."
"By KatieDD on Mon 15-Dec-08 10:56:11
"Santa - so they make the choice not to earn £50k that's entirely different from the option not being available to them isn't it ? "

By KatieDD on Mon 15-Dec-08 10:55:15
"Absolutely, who else are you going to blame, if you've got two arms, two legs, you make your choices."

Confused at your stance katie.

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:20

Katie - your post of 10. 53
'

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:20

Hmmm it doesn't say anything of the sort actually needmorecoffee does it ?

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:23

but you said 'Why would you want to be on benefits - this is what pisses me off,'

so it does say that. Cos you said it.

TotalChaos · 15/12/2008 11:23

katie - why the DD? is it for your DD or is it your bra size?

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:23

Katie I think you will find NMC quoted you directly, you asked where you had said it, and she told you.

Baffled.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:24

And as stated it was in response to a certain other post not a general comment.

I said that I had saved £3k for a deposit on a house and that persons first thought was ooooh I couldn't do that it would affect my benefit, that mentality pisses me off.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:24

And as stated it was in response to a certain other post not a general comment.

I said that I had saved £3k for a deposit on a house and that persons first thought was ooooh I couldn't do that it would affect my benefit, that mentality pisses me off.

cory · 15/12/2008 11:25

KatieDD on Mon 15-Dec-08 11:14:05
"Sure I get that, so one has to decide then what the priority is, is it becoming a high earner or loving your job, neither is a right or wrong decision but equally don't tell me that people cannot do anything, they can they just might not enjoy it."

What we're trying to explain is that if there is only one job going, then not everybody can make a decision about whether to get it. X no of jobs means X no of chances to get such jobs. We can't all be prime minister at any given time, because there is only one.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:27

And if you are going to quote, then quote in contex, you can't edit the bits of the sentence which suit you and leave the other part out

tiredemma · 15/12/2008 11:27

You would need to save about 15k at least now to get on the property ladder. Even we couldnt save 15k and we both work.

Its not easy for people to just get up, get a job and get off benefits.

crazyloon1 · 15/12/2008 11:28

Oh you were talking to ME!!!! Oh I see now.

Oh well in that case...you did ask.

I don't actually want to be on benefits.

I am ill - I have a long term health problem. I am also a single mother having been abandoned by my ex, when I was 3 months pregnant.

Erm - does that explain why I 'want' to be on benefits? Or will you just assume I am not really that ill, can't be botherted to - erm - get better, can't be bothered to find a 50k pay packet tomorrow...probably. Hey ho.

needmorecoffee · 15/12/2008 11:29

well thats what it sounded like although I may have misinterpretted it. I'm tired. dd was up all night, as she has been every night for 4 years. I get tired.
No-one wants to be on benefits. I hate it. I hate being sneered at, I hate choosing between food and heating, I hate my kids never getting holidays or nice things. But to come off them either dd must pass away or go into care.
Over my dead body. I'd rather be poor and have her with me and put up with others sneering and social services treating us like beggars.
I want DH to be able to work. He has a PhD in maths and very few people are able to work at the level he did but instead he's wiping arses and changing tubes. He feels bad too.
But we believe its better to care for your child than dump them in care a la JH (and cheaper for the country too).

gabygirl · 15/12/2008 11:29

"but equally don't tell me that people cannot do anything, they can they just might not enjoy it"

Sorry - but a child who has attended a rough school in a disadvantaged area, who hasn't had the support of parents who are able and/or willing to assist with their education can aspire to a good career in medicine or in the law as much as they like, but their chances of achieving it are almost nil.

People who achieve in life have usually had good schooling and help from supportive families. It's not just about aspiration or being able and willing to work hard.

KatieDD · 15/12/2008 11:30

Cory - And what I am trying to explain is if you start out as a teacher in x school and being head and earning well is the priority for you then you go to another school to become head if the position isn't available at school x.
If there are no headships available at all then you go and do something entirely if earning is the most important thing, if being a teacher is more important then you make that choice.
It's not unusual for people to start off doing one thing and end up doing something else.