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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my friend of 2yrs has not invited me to her home ever

114 replies

lipstickjungle · 11/12/2008 14:18

hi i am dissapointed in my friend whom i have known for "2yrs she has never invited to her home she won't even let me know her street, she has been coming to my hse and we do a lot of things together, i know a lot of people are intimidated with my hme- its a long story (big mortgage ect) but i am really down to earth our babies are the same age apart from that she is lovely.

OP posts:
wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:24

I hadn't thought of that - have you met her dp/dh?

nappyaddict · 11/12/2008 15:25

Would you really not let someone look after your child if you'd never been to their house? I have some good friends I have met through toddler groups but I have only been to one of their houses. The other week I was really poorly and one of them offered to have DS for the afternoon. She picked him up and dropped him back off again. Why would I need to know where she lived? I have her home and mobile number in case I needed to contact her.

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 11/12/2008 15:27

I don't invite people over because I am embarassed that there is no clean toilet or sink in the bathroom, that I never wash my bin, that the inside of my microwave is filthy.

I've TRIED, but I can't keep on top of these things. It makes me depressed, but it has taken me YEARS to accept myself because I had to. If I were anyone else but me, I'd have dropped me, so I don't invite people over!

MascaraOHara · 11/12/2008 15:29

do you have her home phone number?

and why haven't you snooped using 192.com or postcode finder.. that's what I'd do

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:30

...

colacubes · 11/12/2008 15:31

My dp best friend and was business partner, never invites us round, we have never been to any of their houses. We have always said how odd it is, at one point we didnt eevn know where he lived!1 He would just say oh over whats it called way!!

Any how we have deducted over the years that his dw whom I have tried to build a relationship with and always seem to fall at the last hurdle, finds it hard to be around us as they have been ttc for 8 years with no luck, so maybe there is more going on with your friend than you think. Dont worry just be her friend, hopefully it will right its self.

FioFio · 11/12/2008 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:32

I don't ask people over either...

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:38

I have great ideas about I must get this done and that, but I have no storage space, not enough bedrooms for my children and ME which does not lend itself to doing a great deal...I'd love* to ask my friends over, but I need to get sorted first.
I have had two of my friends from ante natal over, one even came after our babies were born. I had managed to throw everything into poor Ds's bedroom and shut the door.

I think OP needs to not get het up over this, it can be difficult for some of us trying to live in a far from perfect world of our own.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:40

Solo, is your house bad enough to be on 'How Clean is Your House?'?

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:40

Nappyaddict, years ago, I refused to let Ds's father take him to his place because he wouldn't give me his address...not that I wanted him to anyway. I definitely wouldn't let a virtual stranger take Dd and probably not even Ds to their home if I had no clue as to their address...

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:42

LOL! no, it's not filthy. Plenty of dust and clutter though...loads of ironing too...I need volunteers!!!

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:42

LOL! no, it's not filthy. Plenty of dust and clutter though...loads of ironing too...I need volunteers!!!

MascaraOHara · 11/12/2008 15:43

should add that I have some friends who I never invite over because their house is so big and beutiful and I live in a 2 up 2 down and would have nowhere for them to sit

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:43

Double the dust and clutter ~ obviously

Swedes · 11/12/2008 15:43

Follow her.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:44

Well I don't do ironing so there is none of that in my house. The only thing that gets iron is DH's work shirts and he does them.
We have tonnnnnneeeees of clutter and a fair bit of dust and a LOT of dog hair. But I still have people around. Chuck a bit of bleach in the loo, wipe the seat with a parazone wipe and away you go!

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:45

Now my toilet is always clean!

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:45

Yes! Follow her. Dark glasses and a headscarf job methinks.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:46

We probably have similar houses, Solo. My loo is always clean, even if everywhere else is a mess. It's not filthy, though, just lots off stuff and not enough space.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:47

I'd rather visit a house that is a mess but has a clean loo than a house that is tidy with a dirty loo. Nothing worse than being confronted by your friend's or friend's dh's poo splatters.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:47

I'd rather visit a house that is a mess but has a clean loo than a house that is tidy with a dirty loo. Nothing worse than being confronted by your friend's or friend's dh's poo splatters.

BitOfFun · 11/12/2008 15:47

My place is a shitheap- combination of autistic child who trashes it, faint odour of nappies and wet beds at times, unfinished DIY (grrr) and my total inability to cope with the sheer volume of laundry. I don't invite people over either, but I wouldn't admit why except on here. Then again, I wouldn't be volunteering to look after anyone's LO there either.

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 11/12/2008 15:47

hairy dog died in the Summer, so no more of her hair rolling up the hallway etc.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 15:49

I had a friend over this morning and my house smelt of garlic from last night's dinner. I had all the windows open before she came (DS's was shivering) and joss sticks burning. She didn't say anything though. She was more worried about the two barking dogs!