to have made a complaint about a member of staff

[tots2ten]

I was told this morning, that my sil's brother's (i will call him B) girlfriend (i will call her A) asked to finish work early on saturday as it was my niece's birthday party. She told her boss that niece's grandmother is ill and we are having a big 'family' party. She was allowed to finish earlier. BUT never went to the party.

My mum has lung cancer, and has never met A, at all [ever], niether have I. She has only been with B for a few weeks.

So I phoned her place of work this morning to make a complaint that she is using MY mother as a excuse to leave work early and that she never even went to the party.

What upset me the most was that she told her boss that this party was just for my mum as she missed the original party as she was unwell.

So was I BU to have phoned her work? I am still very angry as are quite a few family members.

she's barely related to you. you really are mean.

have you had enough people tell you that you did the wrong thing yet?

It's a bit mean to dob her in like that, I'd have restricted myself to perhaps mentioning it to your SILs brother, saying quite harshly you don't appreciate your ill mother being used as an excuse to leave work early and go to the cinema.

I would have been very hurt as it's very probably a really awful time for you. I am sorry about your Mother.

It was inappropriate though, to try to get her sacked. Thankfully she didn't get the sack but I really would think very carefully before doing anything like that again.

Lauriefairycake, Yeah, although at the time i was in tears, through sadness that mum was used as a excuse and anger.

she didn't use your mum's cancer as an excuse to leave work, she used a party

No she told them she was going to a 'family' party as my mum has cancer and she had missed nieces original party as she was unwell

B never lied to get out of work as it was his day off, he just didnt want to stay for the party as he went to the first one last week

Think YABU to report her to her work.
I kinda understand why you was a little mad but not really since it was your Brothers Girlfriends brothers partner LOL sorry that sounds mad I wouldn't of bothered TBH as she is not even apart of your family

I would have been fuming with her but I would never have put her job in jeopardy.

For your sake I hope she doesnt turn into your brother's long term partner because you will have messed up your relationship with her (and so him) forever.

If I had not meet you and you would pull a stunt like that , I would definitely not want to meet you ever . I do not understand how you could call her work place. What on earth were you trying to achieve.

Ther is something else I do not understand . You say she went to the cinema with her partner, Isn't her partner your brother? Ehy was he not with your mum either?

Did I get everything wrong or does it just not make sense at all?

I don't think OP sounds like a "spiteful piece of work" or a "bitch" and I don't think the OP deserves a "kicking". I'm amazed at the nasty personal comments OP has incurred.

I can understand the level of disgust and turmoil of emotions OP has been going through, given the awful illness her mum is suffering and the way "A" seemingly used the illness to her advantage.

I certainly wouldn't have phoned her place of work, but I can understand wanting to! I've been through a very similar situation, and I would like to offer OP my sympathy and support. I would also like to add that, while I would have loved to have done the same in that situation, I'm afraid when it comes down to it, you have to learn to bite your lip. Concentrate all your energies on your mum and don't get bitter or waste upset on those who have no compassion.

xx

S someone you don't know pretended to go to a party so they could get off work early. Even including the fact that your mother is ill, you are being really really over-sensitive to be hurt by this. Your reaction is outrageous and I sincerely hope I don't know you and never meet you.

shame on you!!

Horrible!

I bet the op is one of these people who uses every little bit of bad luck who comes her way as an excuse for horrible behaviour. ('I can't do what I like because my mother's ill/my husband left me/I've got an ingrown toenail waaaaah').You would have to be a first class cunt to try and get someone you don't even know sacked from their job because they made an excuse to their boss that was none of your business in the first place.

thank you slimmer, it juse hurt that someone who has never met my mum would use her a a excuse to get off work early.

A is my brothers, girlfriends (-brothers/girlfriend)

my brother and brothers girlfriend were there it was their daughters party.

A is not going out with OP's Brother she is going out with OP's Brothers girlfriends Brother LOL! this can't be serious

I'm sorry tots2ten I do think you went overboard calling her work, If she got the sack it won't change the fact that your Mothers ill or that A didn't come to your party in fact it may of made life a little harder for you.

Also did you even want your Brothers girlfriends Brothers girlfriend at the party did you invite her?

YAB completely U.

Also sorry to hear about your Mum.

spot on SGB