Have I done the wrong thing getting rid!!!!!

[blueheather]

Please help.
I got a puppy 4 months ago, she is a lovely dog, but I have felt completely overwhelmed. From the minute I wake to when I go to bed I have been stressing about the dog. I have an 8 year old who adores the dog and helps when asked but I am the carer, walker, scopper, feeder, discipliner etc etc, as wll as co running a business and looking after 2 kids, house etc..
If she is in the house it stresses me as she wants to destroy it and if outside I can see her face through the cat flap wanting to come in and be with me. I have to tether her outside so she doesn't escape. I feel my space is invaded in the hosue though.
When I go on business away she goes to a stables and LOVES it. She is with 3 other dogs of her kind and has fun and space to run and play.
Today when I returned we agreed the dog could stay on the farm and I was relieved but upset too. My 8 yr old has convinced herself (with my help) that the dog is happier at the stables and the owner has agreed to let my daughter help with the horses and visit the dog whenever she likes.
Have I been totally selfish? I do feel the house is empty but know if she was here it would be destoyed. My husband who normally does nothing really with the dog is upset at what I have done and says the kids will be very upset when it hits them in a few days!

Do I go and get her back and put up or stick with getting rid!

Please help me!

Sounds like you have reached a good compromise.

We live in the country and lots of labs here are outdoor dogs - ie they NEVER come into the house.

They are happy and healthy and sociable and loved by their very doggy families.

We have a very indoor dog who drove me completely mad through puppyhood - chewing, whining, general madness. One he got to one he really settled down.

Now he is nearly two he is fab to have around. (He is in a crate at night to sleep and loves it there - that's 8 hours at least. )

I dont understand. Why would you get a dog if it is outside all the time and never comes in the house?

Lovesgcatsanddogs

I can see you have strong feelings here, but really your reaction to the OP is completely OTT.

Cruelty to animals, real cruelty, of course it's not on. OP has not been CRUEL.

Other dog lovers have come on and said she did the right thing.

Janos, she did the right thing by passing the dog over to the farm.
But not the right thing about leaving it tethered outside. And I think the tethering outside thing is what people are describing as cruel.

Blueheather - good compromise. Just please don't tie her up in the garden anymore. It seems so sad to me.

Wishing you and your dog a good future
(and hang in there, the bugger may grind you down in the interim but in the long run you won't want to be without your dog

Please don't let the dog spend every other day at the farm - you are just going to confuse her and make her even more demanding. Dogs need to know they are part of a pack - if she spends one day in your house and then one day at the farm she won't know where she stands. She will be miserable and I do think that is cruel. You either have to commit to her being a part of your family or let her go somewhere else where you know she will be happy.

My reaction is not OTT at all!!
So, its ok to tether a dog is it? Is it ok to crate a dog for 8 hours?

You and me live in different worlds obviously.

"Personally I think the abuse is related to the really crass thread title. "Getting rid" is what you do with unwanted possessions, not a dog"

Totally agree. The lack of love and care in OPs words are apparent here.

Janos, I agree that she has done the right thing, in letting the dog go(to farm).
THAT is not cruel.

How she was keeping the dog previous to that was cruel, and do not get me started on her 'friends' .I wish I knew where they lived because I would be reporting them right now.

Drusilla,
I think Blueheather is having the dog dogsat rather than a "timeshare" proposition.

I think that sounds like a wonderful plan blueheather - my dogs would be green with envy.

I don't think that you have been cruel at any time.

If you were not a responsible and humane person, you would not have asked in the first place, and you certainly would not be paying to ensure your dog has the best quality of life.

Stuff like this is cruel. I think some perspective is needed here.

How can you think that tidying a dog up outside and leaving it for 5 hours is not cruel?

I haven't looked at your link and I don't want to. But it doesn't matter what other people do. If they do worse, it does not make this any better.

If you were talking about a child, you wouldn't say it didn't matter because what has happened to another child is different?

Sorry but if you are still going to leave the dog for 5 hours a day but every other day then you are obviously not as responsiable as you say. It is horrible and please don't do it.

Just want to make it clear the outdoor dogs here are gundogs, but they are labs and they are happy and healthy. They are also family pets and live outside all the time in a kennel with a fenced in run when their families are out. When the families are around the dogs have the run of the garden/land (we are talking big country houses here).

The point to the OP was that labs can live outside perfectly well, but the tethering was a bit concerning.

There is a world of difference between a gun dog that is out working for hours a day, and kenneled, and a dog who is taken on AS A PET and then chucked out of the family nome to be tied up outside.

It IS cruel. Agree with chloemegjess that things more cruel do not make this pk.

I wont click on your link either. I know what goes on out there without seeing more of it.

This is quite simple. You take on a pet. You give it all it needs physically and mentally. Or you sign it over to someone who can. How is that difficult?

Half measures are cruel, or at the very least letting that animal down.

Do not make this ok

Under the new Animal Welfare Act, which came into force at the end of March 2007, anyone who is responsible for a pet has a legal responsibility to meet the five basic welfare needs of pets. These are:

1 - a proper diet, including fresh water
2 - somewhere suitable to live
3 - any need to be housed with or apart from, other animals
4 - allowing animals to express normal behaviour
5 - protect from and treatment of, illness and injury

I would say (with the benefit of a postgraduate qualification in companion animal behaviour counselling) that being tethered for 5 hours a day is probably putting the dog at risk of injury (see point 5 above). I'm not so concerned about it being outside as long as it has access to shelter and water. That is infinitely preferable to being crated for that length of time. To my mind being crated for long periods would certainly contravene points 2 and 4 above. I am however concerned about the dog spending long periods of time alone. Dogs are highly social animals so in my opinion would not be able to express normal behaviour (point 4) if there is such limited opportunity for social interaction.

As I said before, getting a dog walker in to break up the hours left alone would improve the dog's quality of life significantly. Also the plan for daycare at the farm will help.

Please don't use your friends as examples of ok ways to treat dogs. 8 hours a day in a crate absolutely horrifies me!

"She is tethered on a very long line and has free run of the back garden and a little house with water and food"

That is not cruel.
It is not like the dog was on a 3 foot line with no shelter, food or water.

Perspective!!!

(BTW these Gundogs aren't at work for hours a day. Pheasant season is only now for couple of months and then only once or twice a week. The rest of the time they are pets and are walked and trained and played with as such but they shock live outside. Tis all.)

mmm, had a good read of all the posts, although I am not sure that some of you have read ALL of mine. To summarise:

1. Yes OP was not the best worded and I could have been a little more thoughtful over it.
2. She was tied to a long line in the garden for UP to 5 hrs 4 times per week. I saw this as a better option than crating for long periods or having her destroy my house. I work part time and consider a 20 hr working week conducive to having a dog
3. I love my dog, always have. Take her to obedience classes, take her to the beach, nice walks.
4. I have never been cruel to her, neglected her etc.. My issue was the increasing amount of lack of space and time to be with the kids and do housework etc...
5. No one has issue with leaving their babies/kids in care while they go to work, why should it be any different for a dog.
6. Would like to know precisely from the extreme posts out there what it is exactly I have done???
7. My dog loves me and my family, quite clearly

I brought her home today and DH will sort the garden so she doesn;t need to be on the long line. Having been tired out from the farm, she sat under my desk and was well behaved. She did wee in the house a couple of times, but I put that down to being away on the farm for 4 days while I was away - they pee anywhere there!

I have to say though the response from some has been astonishing. I clearly care about my dog and wanted the best for her. I agree with a previous post that this subject generates more contention that the stuff on kiddies!
It was a simple question and debate and yet I have been insulted and accused of all sorts!
Thank you to those who gave a more respectful arguement or support, whatever your point of view.

I think a lot of this is about what the dog thinks about as it's pack. If it primarily lives with other dogs then they will be the pack, an it will be happy with them. Whether the animal is inside or outside is not the point (so long as it has sufficient shelter, food , water and freedom to be a dog). The point is that for a young dog being on it's own can be very stressful (this is one of the reasons why many dogs get up to destructive things). This puppy thinks of the OP as being it's pack, and she is clearly very devoted. Being put outside for long periods of time on it's own is unkind. I think the family with the farm are being very kind, and I hope that's because they think that with a bit of a break the OP will be a good dog owner, and the pup will be happy.

Personally would not take on a puppy, although they are lovely. I would take an older dog with less energy that was happy to sleep for long periods and not get stressed when left alone (and I'd be telling the rescue centre that that was what I was looking for). I'd also not get a labrador, because I think they are high maintenance and need a lot of outdoor activity time, which I wouldn't be able to provide. Dogs are a huge responsibility, and you have to like being adored.

"5) No one has issue with leaving their babies/kids in care while they go to work, why should it be any different for a dog."

How is being shoved outside on its own while you go to work putting it in care? The farm, yes garden no.

I was actually referring to the farm, which is the solution I have gone for. She is no longer left - although loads of people leave their dogs while at work believe it or not!

Blueheather what are you going to do about your friend who crates her dog for 8 hours a day?
That poor dog must be insane. It is psychological cruelty. Whay has she in fact got the dog. Please encourage her to take it to a rehoming centre as a matter of priority.

So upsetting

And it generates this level of feeling because animals cannot speak for themselves.

Blueheather...when you say you researched about the puppy before you got it, then whey did you not realise that most pups...especially labs...will try to tear up the house.
If you had researched, then are you saying you knew it would do this and also knew you were going to tie up a puppy outside for 4-5hrs a day?

I think you did the right thing.

From some of the responses here you'd think you abandoned her on the side of the road.

I also had to get rid of our puppy not long after I split with xp. He was absolutly manic and I couldn't cope with him.

Luckily my dad has him now and I can see that I did do the right thing as 2 years on he is still manic, but gets way more attention than I was giving him before we gave him away.

He is now a happy, spoilt little dog and he and my dad love each other to bits.

You did the right thing for the dog, end of.

Actually, she is faily well behaved in the house for a lab and have managed to save my house from destruction as LONG as she is supervised and has been on her walk.
I got a lab as my DH has always had a lab and their temperament with kids is great. It was more the ffeling of not being able to be a great Mum, run business, do house, care for dog etc... Challlenges we all face and I needed support, advice and direction from you lot!

I think we have addressed the tying up now - it is resolved so I don;t think we need to dwell on that please everyone, although I must yet again stress that she would have run of the garden and a house and food, water, toys, pigs ears, kong etc..For only 4-5 hrs a day,4 days a week.

I do appreciate your comments good and bad. I have resolved this by having day care on days when I'm at work and when at home I'm having her in the office with me (even though she snores like a pig!)
Believe it or not leaving on the farm created bad manners, poor obedience and whenever she comes home she poos and pees anywhere because she is left in a pack of dogs, so their are negatives too. That is why a couple of days per week is fine.

blueheather can you answer my post of 09.03 please