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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to go out and leave my kids alone?

119 replies

bamalan · 29/11/2008 22:51

I'm a single mum, and have 3 kids. My oldest is 7 and the other two are 3 and 4. There is a pub just down the road from me and my 3 are all brilliant sleepers. I've been leaving them at home once they are asleep and popping back regularly. My neighbour has had a right go at me and is threatening to tlel the cops. I can't afford a babysitter and my mum refuses to do it anymore as she works 4 evenings a week and wants the other nights to herself. I think she's being really selfish, surely I deserve a life to??

OP posts:

UnquietDad · 30/11/2008 17:48

uh-huh

babylovesmilk · 30/11/2008 17:50

This is so shelfish. What if there was a fire or someone broke in. 7 - that is so young. You chose to have kids - take responsibility, I hope your neighbour does shop you.

LoveBeingAMummy · 30/11/2008 19:07

[yawn]

OnceAPillockNowAnAngel · 30/11/2008 19:56

I should imagine the OP has gone away because she has regularly been called a troll or got at.

Thinking like this does not make you a troll.

I have thought it. I have sat here some nights and thought it would be so nice to leave them sleeping and nip out. I wouldn't do it because I have learnt how to be a good parent from my parents/grandparents and I know it would be too great a risk to take. If you have grown up in an environment where you didn't learn such parenting skills, and you are stuck in on your own every night I can easily see how you could think it was ok.

Perhaps instead of jumping on the OP we could have been a bit more helpful at explaining why it was a bad idea, and helping her with ways to feel better without going to the pub and then this thread would have ended up rather more constructive, instead of scaring away yet another mother in need of help and support.

Original poster

bamalan · 30/11/2008 20:17

Ok, I'll come clean. I wouldn't dream of leaving my children alone, EVER.

I just wanted to see what the response would be on a forum of mums. Have to say I am pleasantly surprised.

For what it's worth I don't believe for one moment that Madeleine was abducted. I believe she died in an accident whilst left alone and that the McCann's and a couple of their friends disposed of her body.

Quite why they are allowed to continue spouting the 'it was within the realms of responsible parenting' lie, I will never understand.

And, why they have not been charged for neglect at the very least I do not understand.

I thought it was very 'telling' that a few people on this thread seem to make mention to them being Dr's - they should have known better then, but no, they are treated with respect! Bonkers!

Anyway, I will bid you all goodnight as I am probably going to get banned ......

OP posts:

onthewarpath · 30/11/2008 20:36

Good on you to finaly come clean. You had us going for a good while.

On a differente note, I never quite understood this theory about Maddie having an accident and dying. Wouldn't any parent call an ambulance anyway, just in case there might be an incy wincy chance that she could be looking dead but not dead ?(I know it would take me an enourmous amount of time to believe there is nothing that can dbe done to save my child).

Does anyone think the same?
I feel I am allowed to hijack yopur thread for the valuable time I spent on it...

Original poster

bamalan · 30/11/2008 20:43

I presume as they are Drs they would know whether she was really dead or not, which indicates to me that there must have been some other VERY good reason for not phoning the police or an ambulance.
Drugs? Paedophilia?

OP posts:

onthewarpath · 30/11/2008 20:47

Yes they are doctors, but when it is your own child, surely you think more emotionnaly than professionaly or am I really being too naive here?

jingleMAMADIVAsbells · 30/11/2008 20:48

Bamalan I'm glad you came clean in the end.

Can I just say maybe this isn't the best discussion to be had, iots all been said before everyone has their conspiracy theory and the subject seems to start a riot.

I saw a thread about it when I forst came to MN and nevr again have I even thought about posting anything to do with it.

Original poster

bamalan · 30/11/2008 20:50

One would think so....to give them some benefit of the doubt, they probably presumed they would get locked up if she had died when they were out and maybe thought that unless they acted the way they did (i.e.pretending it was an abduction), then they would lose the twins too?
At least this way they carry some of the blame (all of it in my eyes) but they can also blame it on the bogey man too. Do you see what I mean? That is why they have to carry on the pretence that she is still alive. Realistically, the chance of that must be close to zero.

OP posts:

TheSeriousOne · 30/11/2008 21:05

I'm glad it wasn't a real thread.

I adore my DS so much, it saddens me that any parent would ever contemplate leaving that child alone.

I wouldn't speculate about whether or not the McCanns did or didn't have anything to do with Maddie's disappearance, but I DO think it was TOTALLY stupid to leave her in that apartment alone to go drinking. And, yes, regardless of the other stresses, I do believe they should have been charged with neglect for that.

A drunk driver doesn't get to say: Oh, but think of the mental torture I have to live with because I killed someone. And, yes, I appreciate it was their DD, but YOU DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE. EVER.

onthewarpath · 30/11/2008 21:07

Head in the sand for me on this one, I prefer to see good in poeple. but I know that quite a few people a know do think like you. (the entire situation, not your opinion in particular.

babylovesmilk · 30/11/2008 21:07

Glad it was'nt true,

onthewarpath · 30/11/2008 21:11

end of hijack BTW

solidgoldbrass · 30/11/2008 21:14

I think it was actually an important subject to discuss: as someone else said, for a single parent on a low income with no family support, it's easy for the temptation to go out now and again just to grow, and if nothing else, apart from the squawky you-ve-had-children-so-forget-you're-a-human-being posters, people came up with some useful advice for anyone in that position.

ChristmasFairyRantALot · 30/11/2008 21:39

so...have you cross checked peoples replys then? I.e have you found out that people were reacting differently to you then they did to the McCanns? Because, personally, I think I gave pretty much the same opinoin about leaving Kids alone at that age...because, to me, it doesn't matter who you are....it will always be a irresponsible thing to do...but I do wonder, if some people may have reacted differently....and obviously you wanted to find this out, so, I assume you took some notice of this....what were your findings?

LulumamaLovesLatkes · 30/11/2008 21:41

yes, on a forum of mums, we would all have said, go for it

interesting topic, would have been better addressed seriously without the McCann red herring

as you were...

JodieO · 30/11/2008 23:56

I can imagine this thread got a very different response to the other one mentioned, I read those ones but didn't really reply on them. There are differences though, not with class/social standing, just the fact that in one case a little girl was actually missing and it wasn't someone asking if they should leave their child.

I used to think that the parents may have known what happened but the more I think of them and their faces and how long they've been campaiging for the more I think they really don't know. Who am I do cast aspersions anyway? It's all just hearsay and guess work.

I wouldn't leave my children on their own ever, but I don't doubt they regret that decision with every breath they take.

Jackaroo · 01/12/2008 04:18

"have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised" how gracious of you to say so.

Having wasted all our time, got some people talking about a subject which is emotionally charged because of their personal experiences, frankly I'd be worried to have a brain that works like this.

Can I assume you've never lost a child/seen a dead child? Maybe if you spent a little more time parenting and a little less worrying making sure someone else is strung up, you would find life more rewarding, I'm sure your children would certainly benefit.

Apologies to other posters if this is more heated than we're allowed to be, but it's struck a nerve.....

dilemma456 · 01/12/2008 07:20

Message withdrawn

psychomum5 · 01/12/2008 07:22

Oh I am so pleased that this was a 'joke'.

pretty fucking poor joke if you ask me!

thenewme · 01/12/2008 12:31

While I am glad that no children are being left alone I fail to see the benefit of making something like this up.

Are you sure you don't leave your children?

And as for your theory on what happened to MM I think it is totally unhelpful to post that and irrelevant what you think.

unavailable · 01/12/2008 13:00

Glad to hear posters have past your (bizarre) test. I am sure all those who posted before you "owned up" are gratified to hear it (hmm)

As to your unpleasant ramblings about the fate of Madeline MCCann - you do seem to revel in your "theories" in a quite unhealthy and distasteful way.

unavailable · 01/12/2008 13:01

passed not past, obviously

ScottishMummy · 01/12/2008 13:09

bamalan you are an attention seeking grade A loon.casting aspersions on very real legitimate tragedy.oh but a-ha you missy-fecking-marple know what really happend?I see intense media speculation, teams of detectives all outwitted except you

anyhoo, at least now we all know you make up threads for kicks.drivelling on made up stories,tsk

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