to be fed up about never having any money even though DH earns (just) over £100k?

[MakemineaGandT]

I know it sounds like a lot, but with a big mortgage and all the other usual bills we have very little disposable cash.

We don't have a cleaner or any other kind of help

Neither of us has had any new clothes for at least 18 months

We spend £100 a week on groceries, so hardly extravagant

We haven't been on holiday for 3 years

We do all DIY etc ourselves

We've been out twice this YEAR

I just don't know how we can cut back. It feels as though we are working so hard and yet we are always struggling.

It makes me really annoyed when I see comments (for example on that taxing over £150k thread) about the "super rich") - I guess on paper we look "rich" but it certainly doesn't feel like it!

Actually I don't think £100/week on shopping if you have a gross income of £100K is at all excessive. I don't spend that much, btw, but nor do I have the income.

The money has to be going somewhere else and the only thing the OP has admitted to is the mortgage. I assumed that she didn't work as only mentioned DH's salary so therefore no childcare costs although private school is a possibility.

I bet MakemineaGandT is tucking into her caviar and cristal as we speak, where's she gone?

WannaBe, are you a financial advisor? Brilliant post. No sniping or digs about how fortunate the OP is etc. Just constructive and solid advice about how to improve her lot.

good post wannabe

tv costs a LOT btw

groceries - i thought that sounded TINY

i think a realistic £100 on all food lunches milk bread bog roll etc in school lunches and the odd americano sounds frugal

Right, not read all the messages but fairly sure someone would have mentioned this already.

I can't find it now, but just last month someone did a thread moaning about how tough things were for her despite the fact that her dh earned over £75k or something.

It was almost word for word identical to this very thread.

nc

I don't know why you are angy with me??
I'm genuinely curious.
I know my own circs bit no anyone elses because on rl no one ever discusses such things

Therefore if you say you have a large family pay childcare and a mortgage for a large house out of less than £1300 I'm interested.
I'm still interested?

I'm never blamed you for your situation but I don't know how these numbers add up unless you have a very low mortgage, very low childcare costs and low outgoings.
It's a mile away from my situation so enlighten me

But try not to be arsey, eh?

I'm still here . I just don't want to fan the flames! I'm sorry if this thread has upset anyone (really) - I didn't mean to be flippant or insensitive

Thanks to all who have posted helpful responses, especially wannabe

pag, I totally agree it is dreadful to become complacent.

But tbh it sounds from the op (and I haven't read any of her subsequent posts so may have missed something) that financial management isn't something which she and her dh excel at.

The huge mortgage indicates to me that they borrowed beyond their means and that this is ultimately the killer for them. When we bought this house we could have borrowed a huge amount of money. A scary amount of money even. But what people don't think when they borrow 4/5 times their annual salaries is how much it is actually going to cost them. Oh yes they are given the figures, but too often they're blinded by the house they'll be able to afford with that amount of money, and the reality doesn't actually kick in until the monthly payments start going out by which time it is too late.

On 100 grand a year the op shouldn't be having to look at buying own-brand items in the supermarket, or cutting back her mobile phone bill/broadband. But she has borrowed beyond her means to pay for her house, and now she is going to have to look at all the little things, because the big thing, ie the mortgage, isn't changeable in the current climate.

oi, and me cheeky!

makeminea g and T are you LARGEGandT?

i dont think you are unreasonable - i can see both sides of the equation and have a huge mortgage myslef

I'm guessing they took on a bigger mortgage than they could handle. Say 5 times the OP's DH's salary = £500,000. Repayments (at, say, 5%) would be about £3000.

So while YANBU to feel fed up, you are, however, singularly insensitive and crass, given how little many people on these boards have to live on.

i buy own brand wannabe BECAUSE i took on the huge mortgage it was a trade off

i LOVE sainsburys basics tinned tomatoes

yes, and you cheeset

£100 a week is a lot to spend on groceries imo - we manage between 30-40 each week for four of us - thats washable nappies, bfing and making all meals and lunches from scratch though obv [looks slightly smug and very tired...]

so what is it GandT?is it the school fees (which if they're juniors arent that much cf to salary)

you may have to define 'very little disposable cash' for people, they might see it differently...

I remember that thread rhubarb...

its laughable isn't it? oh the poor thing, only 100k.

my husband's salary is a quarter of that and he pays 350 per month child support for his two other older children, and we manage ok. No foreign hols or big pensions, but we pay our bills, pay off student loans, buy the things we really need and get by. I've made the choice to be a SAHM, and that's my conscious choice and based partly on the cost of childcare around here, (no family around to help with free childcare!) so when ds is older i will work and we can start putting some money back into savings etc.

perhaps MakemineG&T will take a long hard look at her lifestyle after this thread and make some positive changes. I hope so.

At least the OP can eat her own brand Lidl food in a lovely house. Some people have the same lifestyle and live in shite holes. There is a silver lining to every cloud, eh?

OP may have a big house in a nice area but she has a massive mortgage so probably does'nt have that much to live on her self.

Very nosey question - but how much is your mortgage?

no, I'm not largeG&T - she is someone else

And just to clear one thing up - no school fees here

Poor, poor you. It must be so difficult, feeding a family of 4 on only £100 a week. Heavens, to reduce this, you might even need to shop [whispers] at Aldi!

I would type more but need to find Elastoplast for my bleeding heart.

FFS.

wannabe

Thats true. DH and I have always ignore 'multiples' advice from mortgae people and worked out what we could expect to afford rather than best case borrowing. And never done credit cards etc

I just still give the kids baked potatoe and beans for tea and don't buy magazines even though we can afford it. Have money squirreled away too.
Perhaps I am too much the other end of the spend/miser spectrum

I think if you have ever been really truly poor it is hard to ever be...blase ( perhaps that is better than complacent )

Im sorry but I think you wanted an inferno op, to put a posting like that is well, to be fair very insensitive, put yourself in other peoples shoes, people who have maybe been made redundant and dont know how they will pay their bills never mind have £100 to spend on food, or people who have children with sn and cant work because they need to be their for their children.

I never post on here but felt I had to.

Pagwatch, are you my secret twin?

We were lucky because our Financial Advisor said we could borrow £scary amount but he strongly suggested that we didn't. He thought being able to sleep at night was worth so much more.

Ronaldiniho - The wording sounded like you disbelieved me - and were challenging me actually. Re-read it from that POV and (hopefully) you will see what I mean. If that is not the way it is meant then fair enough - but that is why I felt angry.

Childcare is for 1dc and I do unpaid work for them (after the dc are in bed) to supplement the cost (obv. I get gov. vouchers too).

My mortgage is on interest only atm as I had to change it when I became single and current times are not great to change it back. (yes I know that makes trouble for the future but needs must).

I also work evenings for a club that the children use for their after school activities so that they can join for free. (otherwise I could not afford for them to do any activities).

We live almost entirley on value/basics food and I do a lot with very little. Bread and butter fill things out and baked potates are great for just about any meal.

I am not prepared to give in and loose my house as the circumstances around the break up mean my dc have lost out on a lot already (ie they no longer feel safe, don't trust people etc) They need stability and so do I (I don't feel so very different to them actually).

We have a massive mortgage,(our choice) but we cut back on everything. Our family holiday this yr was a weeks camping in the pouring soddin rain. No weekends away no frills no nothing but it's our choice. Alot of the school mums were doing centre parcs (in my dreams) and hols abroad but thats life eh.