to be fed up about never having any money even though DH earns (just) over £100k?

[MakemineaGandT]

I know it sounds like a lot, but with a big mortgage and all the other usual bills we have very little disposable cash.

We don't have a cleaner or any other kind of help

Neither of us has had any new clothes for at least 18 months

We spend £100 a week on groceries, so hardly extravagant

We haven't been on holiday for 3 years

We do all DIY etc ourselves

We've been out twice this YEAR

I just don't know how we can cut back. It feels as though we are working so hard and yet we are always struggling.

It makes me really annoyed when I see comments (for example on that taxing over £150k thread) about the "super rich") - I guess on paper we look "rich" but it certainly doesn't feel like it!

There is a certain lifestyle though that many people believe is their 'right' as they perceive it.
My point is is that many of us ,whethe ron £100k or not,will have to adjust our expectations.
No bad thing,imo.

Agree with Litchick.

Thinking along the lines of 'oh my kitchen looks a bit dated as it's six years old and friend x has a nicer one, let's get a new one' and having new cars every two years is going to be a thing of the past for the middle classes.

It's all been ridiculous.

I'm with the silent one - I think it can only be a good thing. Less tat, less waste, less expectation.
I think young people in aprtcular will find it hard. They haven't been brought up to know that left over new potatos make a great breakfast fried with an egg, or that clothes dry perfectly well in , like you know, the wind, or that coffee is made with hot water from a kettle and doesn't have to arrive in a polycup with a shot of hazelnut syrup.

Sorry, coming on to this thread late and only read the latest page, but I think what pisses me off about complaints like this is that people say "yeah but we've got a huge mortgage" like it's forced upon them, it's not, they are paying for, and receiving the benefit of a nice house that they choose to live on. To the OP, if it's really getting you down, move house and get a smaller mortgage. People manage to bring a family up on a lot less.

I'm feeling pretty hacked off that it's coming up to Christmas and lots of things going on and I can't afford to go on my work's Xmas do, because it's £30, and after I have paid all my bills this month and bought food, I will have £60 left till the end of the month

Absolutely Litchick - lots of people could do with brushing up on old style frugality.

The penny-pinching ways of my MIL no longer look quite so eccentric...

MakemineaGandT have you considered how great it is that i dont have a massive mortgage so have lots if 'disposable income'? Well, its not so great, because I would love to have my own house and not rent a flat, the dc's would love a garden etc. Yet all our 'disposable income' goes into savings for a deposit. So I am fed up of no disposable income and no house.

Actually,although I have spent money with the best of them(partic on clothes)
I now,even though would be considered well off by most,am careful about spending.
Conspicuous consumption seems so...vulgar,darling
No Sky TV here!
Use library every week
Buy clothes,cosmetics etc on Ebay
Sell clothes on Ebay
Buy loads of own brand items,especially cereal,juice,cleaning products.
Have become a 'credit crunch brunette'!!
Am feeling very virtuous now

Am quite enjoying the fact that my frugal ways are no longer just stingy but cool in an 'austerity chic' way....although that phrase makes me shudder a bit. It's so the sort of thing Sunday Times Style Magazine would come up with - true poverty isn't chic.

Take home pay for £100k is £5,414 per month.

If you feel poor then just review how you are spending all this money and make changes.

You spend £400 a month on food. this leaves you with £5,000 per month.

I would suggest that you rent a nice family house for £1,500 per month. Then allocate £500 for all household bills and £500 for travel.

With the remaining £2,500 per month you should spend this on holidays, clothes and treating yourselves.

Will this make you feel any better?

Don't know if this has been suggested before but big mortgages are usually for big houses with big gardens so how about turning part of your garden into a veg patch? The kids could help, they'd understand where their food comes from and you'd reduce your food bills a bit.

There are also ways you can reduce your childcare bills by taking advantage of flexible working arrangements and childcare vouchers - not sure if you're working so it may not be relevant....

Hear hear SilentTerror

All my friends think I'm broke because I live in a tiny flat with an outdated kitchen and knackered carpet and shop for clothes in charity shops. A similar heart-to-heart with a bunch of local mothers revealed that actually my family income is rather more than those with gleaming houses and fancy cars and Mulberry handbags under the table. The difference is that I fancy myself as a sad "greeny" so take an active pleasure in mending things, recycling things, getting things second hand, not replacing things if they work. Also, I really really can't sleep at night if I have debt, it plays on my mind something chronic. DH does think I am a tight old miser though- we have quite different attitudes to money.

TBH I have very little patience for these threads of people moaning that they are broke on 100k or whatever. Firstly, get a sense of propotion about those who aren't as lucky as you. And secondly, posho holidays, swanky cars, fancy mahoosive houses etc. aren't your right, no matter what you think from watching TV or reading Red mag or talking to your parents or whatever. We have sucked up advertisements perpetuating the consumer 'have it now, you're worth it" culture, and now we are throwing our toys out of the pram when it turns out to be a mirage. There's going to be quite a few of us getting a horrible shock over the next few months, I think.

good points domestic slattern

I get a kick out of secondhand books and ebay clothes now!
Unfortunately at heart I am a spendthrift but am kept under control by being married to Scrooge and tbh I am grateful for his financial prudence,as I see friends face redundancy with no savings,pension and maxed out mortgages and credit cards.

It is quite sad how some people have fallen for all the crap magazines have come out with over the years.

It doesn't matter how much you want something, if you can't afford it get over it.

"They haven't been brought up to know that left over new potatos make a great breakfast fried with an egg" - but that'll be a joy for them to discover, at least.

It is much much more fun to have a great charity shop find than to buy something brand new. I'm still beaming with joy about a beautiful lambswool jumper for £4.50, and a copy of the Silver Spoon for a fiver.

Just coming back to this thread, it's got so large my head hurts

In answer to question answered a loooong time ago... it cost £500 to replace the windscreen because it was a rear heated windscreen, it was the middle of the night (I was on nights) and I needed to get it done to secure the car, plus the windscreen has a brake light in which makes it more expensive. Anyway, I could have put it on the insurance but a few quick calculations and I worked out that my premiums would rise by more than £500 over a year, so it was cheaper in the long run to pay it upfront rather than pay the increased insurance premiums. We couldn't take the car to the breakers yard because we can't really afford to replace it yet. We're saving up hard now (apart from the stupid £500 on a windscreen) to get a new one in January. Hopefully we'll get together about £5000 so won't need to borrow anything. I hate hate hate debt.

I am so with DS on this, I bought a real wool coat (a Debenhams one)from a charity shop for less than 8 quid, it is completely addictive but we've been living frugally for a long time, dh is very careful with money and we might live a box but it's an affordable box. So I'm quite grateful for dhs' miserly ways, it's made me re think the way I spend money.

Good post DS. I earn a decent wage but hate "waste" and save wherever I can. Just got dp a coat from the charity shop for £8; £7 for dry cleaning and it's good as new. The only other one he'd seen that was decent quality and fitted well was £109 in Gap.

Conspicuous consumerism ought to be dead, if only for the sake of environmental concerns.

I've been teaching about advertising to my GCSE group and I was horrified that they don't even know where the adverts are in a magazine and where the features are. They really couldn't tell the difference. These are children who live in one of the most deprived areas in the country but they sneer at charity shops and judge each other by the price of their trainers. I find it really upsetting that they haven't been taught the value of things and just think that money, a big house, the latest gadgets etc is what will define them as a person.

"I've been teaching about advertising to my GCSE group and I was horrified that they don't even know where the adverts are in a magazine and where the features are. They really couldn't tell the difference."

but not actually that surprised, given that my (very intelligent and not at all deprived) DSS1 couldn't really understand that advertising wasn't "the truth" until a couple of years ago (he is 13 now).

I'm sorry but I absolutely refuse to believe the OP is being

serious. Get a grip.

janeite

I know people like OP in reality gracie. I sat by one at a dinner party very recently. It was a bloody depressing evening.

Sorry Gracie,I can well believe she is serious.
There are many in same situation,having been seduced by the hype of the last few years.

You and I must know the same people DS!!

It's scary isn't it? And they are really lovely children but seem to have such a warped mindset of how people should be valued.