to be fed up about never having any money even though DH earns (just) over £100k?

[MakemineaGandT]

I know it sounds like a lot, but with a big mortgage and all the other usual bills we have very little disposable cash.

We don't have a cleaner or any other kind of help

Neither of us has had any new clothes for at least 18 months

We spend £100 a week on groceries, so hardly extravagant

We haven't been on holiday for 3 years

We do all DIY etc ourselves

We've been out twice this YEAR

I just don't know how we can cut back. It feels as though we are working so hard and yet we are always struggling.

It makes me really annoyed when I see comments (for example on that taxing over £150k thread) about the "super rich") - I guess on paper we look "rich" but it certainly doesn't feel like it!

I have only read the OP.

Is this a fight?

no fabio , just a very touchy subject.

I think the thing is that you just get used to any increase in income very quickly. So if I suddenly got a payrise tomorrow to 100K (ooh, I wish) I'd feel mega-rich for a few months. After a while though I expect it would just seem normal and every time my bills went up I'd feel a bit poorer again.

ISTR reading some research which showed that being moderately well-off does increase your level of happiness and satisfaction but that being very rich doesn't make as much difference as you might expect.

solo. great idea about the kids clothes,what about a band of material in a contrasting /complementing colour at bottom/ sleeves? where can i get cheap sewing machine?

sorry about getting worked up about the % thing, you know when something really really little annoys you and, because you've had a crap day anything will send you over the edge...that was one of those sorry!!

dsrplus8, it's a shame you live in Scotland as I'm selling a machine(used once to get me out of trouble)very cheap! I'm a bit too far away to help you out!

Yes to contrasting colours. I will cut up some other tops of Dd's that are past their best, but good enough to use to extend! Dd has a long torso. The sleeves are all ok though.

Why do people expect to have a lot of disposable income once they've got a family? dh earns a good salary (not as much as the OP)and we don't have much left but we do pay for a house, bills, insurances (including pet insurance),kids to do activities,dh to have his Sky TV and put money away for a holiday each summer. Also run a car each for work and dh gets through a lot of petrol. If we wanted more disposable income we could choose to drop a lot of these things, unlike the many people who do not have a choice. So, while I can understand where your money might go it is still more than a bit distasteful to moan about it.

Only rad first half of thread up to Wannabe's fab post about money saving and my first thought is...Wannabe are you Martin Lewis?! Or at least his Mrs??

read not rad....

I find it interesting how much calmer this thread has been than the £65,000 one.

Sitting with my FiL the other day he was commenting about the cost of living and I think he pointed out something interesting. He is someone who did very well, excellent salary, although not huge, they have a beautiful home and a comfortable life, the cost of living and property being more in line with salaries. He was aghast that DH and I earn the same now as he did at his earning peak and can only ever dream of living in the sort of house he has, having his life etc. He has an excellent pension (what's one of those?) and will drift off into the sunset quite comfortably.

He is horrified at our finnacial situation, (still would never ever help not now or in death, and we are fine with that) We live in SW London, we are tied to jobs in London. By default our mortgage is higher than we would have liked, 3 times higher, than he ever had! And we don't live anywhere special. Commuting cost is foul, still would rather have higher morgage than pay more on the train! Cost of childcare is high and we are on a hamster wheel to keep going. That said, we are ok and really have nothing to moan about.
However my point is I think many people grow up, study, train, do well in their roles and get to a point today and think, crikey, why do I still have nothing left at the end of the month.

If you take actual figures out of the equation and look at the lives of our parents, I can see why, like the op, people sit back in finnacial shock ? we do!

As for having a go about how much people do or don't earn, that seems immaterial and unfair, some will some won't, those that do will pay for the rest, as it should be. Shame it isn't more evenly distributed but that's nature and none of us can change that.

It is wrong that some struggle so much and for those that have no choice be it injury, being left by their spouse, being a carer etc really should have much, much greater support, but the powers that be seem to be playing merry hell with our system.

I grew up in poverty and swore blind my children wouldn't and we work our backsides off to make sure. We can work, we are fit and healthy and make our contribution that way ? still wondering why life isn't easier though!

OMG you can't manage on £100k, sorry but that sounds a bit ridiculous

I earn £8500 per annum working PT and MY DP earnes £13,000

We went o Haven for our holiday last year and it cost £350 and that nearly skint us

Excellent post goingslowlyroundthebend
I agree with you.

goingslowly - that generation will be the last to have life that easy. The financial system that will keep him rich and comfortable until he dies is ill-founded and unfair.
We're all witnessing a long overdue rebalancing. We will all work until we're very old to pay off the ridiculous, luxury pension burden for that middle class generation.
Don't you think it's absurd that he is living in this luxury, when the rest of the world are grafting away like lunatics? I mean, I don't begrudge him it, I think he's jolly lucky, but I hope he can also appreciate it for what it is.

The only thing that annoys me is putting off having a baby because we can't afford to live on one salary in London and yet we can't afford full time childcare. That's all due to the tax burden.

And then someone of that generation goes 'oh, isn't it sad that you haven't had a baby yet?' or even better 'you girls are so selfish these days'. I feel like lamping them. One elderly person living in a five bedroom house is selfish, IMHO. If that generation spread some of the wealth around a bit, our country wouldn't be in such dire straits now.

Most of it's the property ladder though picmaestress.

My sister bought her first house in 1979 for £3000. Sold it 3 years later for £6000. Bought another, sold that for £18,000, the next for £35,000. Now has no mortgage living in a house she bought for £70,000 20 years ago, probably worth £200,000.

DH and I were late on to the property ladder and have a mahoosive mortgage. DH has a good job - just as bloody well.

Its not really the property ladder for the generation in their 60s/70s - its the fact that they actually get to RETIRE that is what they need to feel thankful for
they're not immune though, and also we should be thankful taht some of them at least will be able to pay for their own nursing care...

Fiofio - my Mum is in the same position.
But, as I love to remid my ardent socialist Mother, her pension is so good because of the previous soaring share priices which in turn were so high due to unreserved, consulerist spending.

FioFio - not what I was saying. It's not selfish for anyone to claim a legitimately earnt pension. That would be a pretty stupid argument.

My issue is with our tax burden, and for a financial system which is mightily unfair for the people who haven't benefited from the last property/shares/pension boom.

There's a reason no companies give final salary pensions any more. We can't afford to pay them.

Not all Baby Boomers were on the property ladder. My mum and dad lived in a council house and were f**ked over by the eighties and unemployment. There were over 3 million unemployed back then and we are heading back there. However, they eventually got back on their feet and are now both working. They bought their first home at the grand old age of 42.

I think alot of it is that 'we'(the supposed middle classes) see things like
Two Cars
Holidays
Sky TV(actually,we don't have that..too mean!)
After school activities(ballet,horse riding etc)
Eating Out/Take Aways
New Clothes,(not just at Xmas/birthdays as my mother used to
Wine
etc etc
as our 'right',and subconciously we feel left behind if we don't/cannot afford these 'luxuries'.
Recently a group of friends treated another friend,who we perceive to be not as 'wealthy' as ourselves,to a special night out for a birthday.
During the course of the conversation it became clear that the supposed poor relation was actually in a better financial position than many at t he table,despite vast salaries,as she had no debts at all,and many were thousands overdrawn/credit cards/vast mortgages etc.
I think many people need to rethink their priorities atm and realise the situation they are in.

I think a lot of people will need to rethink, and not just those in six figures.
I know people who have far more modest salaries who still waste spend money on designer clothes, hair extensions, holidays. My DH's secretary thinks nothing of buying the latest must have handbag. I wouldn't bloody dream of it!
Tis time for the madness to stop.

Wine is my right! COuldn't give a stuff about holidays though.