To want routine, for my 4wk old ds2, who is awake 10pm-5am . AIBU to want to sleep at night ?

[Oblomov]

I don't know what to do ?
I feel like i have already tried most things.
Please anyone offer any advice ?

We are at breaking point.
We have been up all night. Till 5am.
When dh gave him to me, and said 'take him to our bed. i must sleep. i have to go to work.

I sobbed and sobbed yesterday night at about 10pm. i just don't know what to do with him. dh is concerned too.
ds1 said, 'i don't think it was a good idea to have a baby'. 'why' dh and i said, shocked. 'he cries all nught and keeps me awake' said ds.
quite frankly, i sit here this morning, feeling the same

This is ds2. ds1 is 4.10. I was spoilt with him, becasue after cs, and being in hospital for first week, he was all over the place when we got home for second week. sleepy. awake all night. but by end of second week, he totally flipped,and put himself in a routine that you could set yuor clock by.
I bf him at 6am,10am,2pm,6pm,10pm,2am.
He would bf for 20 minutes, burp immediately and I would be back in bed, asleep within 25 minutes.

So I was spolit. So thats why ds2 has come as such a shock.

He too was cs. jaundice, thick blood and low blood sugars. I was struggling with bf, so had to express before they would discharge me from hospital. then it turned out he was tongue tied. now been snipped. bf is not much better, despite going to clinics. they said it was a miracle I had managed it for this long. I have alot of milk,. so bf every time. then offer ebm.

it is tyring bf and pumping so often though.

He takes quite alot. i suppose it is demand feeding. but quite regularly throughout day. weight gain has been very good, says hv.

he is very sleepy. poohs are green, sometimes.
suggesting wind. maybe i should try infacol( been trying for a week) AND colief(used with ds1).
I have been expressing and throwing away the first 20ml of each breast, in order to get more hind milk into him, as recommended by over supply guides. that doesn't seem to have helped.

at 10pm he was still downstairs. dh said the only thing we haven't tried is formula. off i go to get some from our supplies.we try it for the first time, last night.

so between 10 and 12 he takes about 5-6 oz of formula. wide awake and chirpy.
I take him to bed at midnight. he continually feeds and winds, feeds and winds. at 3 or 4 am i have had enough.

I let him cry. and cry and cry. thinking 'tough love'. I can't do this holding him, co sleeping shit anymore. he needs to sort himselfout. and ds1 will have to get used to a bit of crying until he does.

then I take him back to his cot.
I wind. no burp. 25 mins i wind for. put down . leave room. he cries immed. i go back. wind him. burp. roots. I feed him. wind him, for 20 mins. no burp. put him down. cries. so it goes on.

at 5 am i leave him to cry and cry. dh comes. he has been in and out all night, to be fair.
he swaddles him and brings him to me, in our bed. dh downstairs.

i have cranial oestopath booked for tomoorow. ds1 had 2 sessions and i was not convinced, but am prepared to try anything.

am thnking that tough love is required. have fed him once thsi morning, but admittedly, not at 7am like GFord would like.

should i keep him awake and feed every 3 hrs. MAKE HIM

mind you, when nanny seaside and sil where here the other day keeping him awake and feding him lots, that made no difference, to the nightime.

during the night I opened up another formula and he had another 4oz of that. so he had 11oz throught he night.

I bf him this morning though. not formula.

but seriously we can't continue like this.
I need to change his body clock. I need to sleep, so that i can get up and do the school run , taking ds1 to school ( my sil has been doing this for me for 3 weeks, finishing this week)

dh and I are shattered. we did have a few nights of regualr sleep over the last couple of weeks. but for the last week, he has been awake ATLEAST 1am-4am every night. I give it and take him into my bed. ds on sofa bed. I don't want to co sleep though. I want my dh back. and I don't think I sleep that well anyway, when we co sleep. only doing it out of desperation.
I am at a loss as to what to try next.

All advice welcome.

How are things today Oblomov?

o.k. VS thank you.
i didn't go to clinic.
i am still sat here in my dressing gown, having bot showered, i need to pick up ds from school in half an hour.
ho hum.

Better night. Once again no screaming.
I fed at 10pm, 12am, 2am, 4a, 7am.
That is every 2 hours. BUT. feeding takes atleast 30-40 mins, sometimes nearer an hour by the time I have bf, winded , bottled fed, winded etc.
So by the time I get back into bed, I am actually only getting 1 HOURS sleep, between feeds.
Now, thats not good is it.
But atleast its better than it was.

there are no answers to this unfortunately. no one is able to say 'do a/b/c and it will all be sorted.
shame.

There is a wonderful thread about people being really broody and desperately wanting to cuddle babies. D'ya reckon DS would be ok with Hecate squeezing him for a while?

not showered. can't type because sat here cuddling ds2

which thread ?

I would ditch the bottles at night, learn to feed him lying down and you can sleep doze as he feeds.

Ob - you have my sincerest sympathy - a 'normal' DS2 after a dream DS1 is really tough - it happened me too.
Sorry haven't had time to read all threads so may have missed this - is DS2 swaddled or in grobag? DS3 was upside down (awake all night, asleep all day) for week 1, then sorted himself for week three, and at the end of week 4 started waking all the time. we switched him to a grobag and it definitely settled him, and meant he only woke when he was hungry.

Sending sleep vibes your way.

Message withdrawn

I've just finished ready the no cry sleep solution, it's fab.
It has a special section for one-four months. I may possibly need it for a fourth child if they are as crackers as ds2 but I can send you it to read if you want to borrow it?(It'll be a year at least before I need it again!)
You have my email.
x

Just a thought but is he warm enough at night, my dd2 used to wake until we figured that adding an extra blanket before we went to bed helped. She was just in a grobag (2.5!) but was cold on her arms etc, started to swaddle over the bag and turned heating right down and bingo it helped (until teething kicked in )

Oblomov - I just saw this thread and I know you've had a better night but this sounds EXACTLY what my best friend went through for 7 weeks before she nearly lost it.

Dr told her to cut out dairy - that there is something in it that really upsets babies stomachs and they get terribly uncomfortable with lots of wind, etc. Within 4 days he was calmer and within a week he was only waking 2 - 3 times a night. I don't know if you eat much dairy but it might be worth a try.

Good luck!

how about some brandy for ds... just kidding. maybe for you though. anyhow, just trying to get a smile on your face. as i'm having my first, i hope that i don't experience what you are and have complete sympathies for you. my friend however had a very finicky baby and she began baby yoga and massage with hers that helped him to relax and she used lavender soap and lotion for its calming effects just before bedtime. try some light classical music too and you can find cd's that are geared to babies, and play it at nighttime bedtime while doing some massage. it might seem a bit new age mentality, but your energy is drained and humans around you pick up on that so maybe because you are exhausted, your DH is exhausted, DS1 is too, it exacerbates everyone, including the new edition, who is, no offense to him, the initial reason for the initial stress due to his body clock. the whole situation just keeps oscillating. keep seeing your doctor and be persistent. good luck.

if i could, i'd be there to give you and your family a break to all take a huge nap.

VS, have e-mailed you, would very much like to borrow your book.
Babybump will look into the dairy thing.

tether, will check temp. it is very bitter at the moment isn't it. he is swaddled, and a blanket. may put another.