To be really brassed off with another mum

[herewegoagain02]

My 12 year old daughter chose a friend to go out shopping with her for her birthday , I treated us all to a nice pasta meal while we were out and let them have space away from the boring old grown up (me) so as not to cramp their style whilst going round the shops, a great day was had by all. Right, my dd was invited out to various things for the same girls b-day which were then cancelled (no communication from other mum)this all coming thru the grape vine, in the end they went out for a few hours. My dd got home and said that the mum in question went off and left them with two other girls I dont know in town for 2 hours. I've never let dd go round town without an adult, I don't feel ready and I feel really hacked off that something I feel should have been my decision to make has been taken away and disrespected.

Nothing worg with being scared, or with wanting to lock her up in a a padded cell so nobody could ever harm her, nothing wrong with wanting to do these things, but you can't actually do them. You can't cosset your child away from her peers so she can't socialise in peace, you risk doing far more harm that good. She will grow up resentful and her peers will take this piss. This isn't how is should be, but it is how it is.

12 is perfectly old enough to go into town. I was roaming all over town on my bike at this age, and my dad was a copper who had worked on the child protection squad! It wouldn't have occured to him to phone other parents or for them to phone him, if your 12 year old doesn't know what she is or isn't allowed to do, then that's an issue you have to raise with her. She's old enough to say - but if you don't let her do the things her friends' parents allow, her friends will start leaving her out.