Need to get this off my chest before Monday - It's about Red Heads !

[KatieDD]

I was telling a tale in the playground about how i'd put my foot in it in the maternity ward.
The jist was that my DD was born with loads of hair, looked like a little monkey but it was dark brown.
Anyway a woman on my ward said oh hasn't she got lovely hair and without looking up from my magazine I said yes thank god it's not red like her dad's. Of course I looked up and she and her newborn had red hair.
I cringed, went back to the magazine she walked off.
If you heard this tale and had a son with red hair would YOU be mortally offended ??

I ask because on Thursday this happened and the woman who is pig ignorant at the best of times on Friday said hello to the person I was talking to and made a point of not saying hello to me, she's just looking for a reason to kick off again, we've had a few moments in the past.
I know it's petty but she has sat in my living room and told me my youngest has got better looking with age so she's not adverse to putting her foot in it herself.

I just know this is leading to an atmospher tomorrow grrr.

The thread is making my sides hurt.

I really have no idea what is going on.

Why is the dinner lady coming to your house anyway if she doesn't have children?

I am a proper redhead and I find the OP confused and confusing, but just to stick my oar in:

Why do we spend so much time worrying about what people are potentially going to bully our DCs about? It seems that some people want to bland their DCs up so that all unusual/different/quirky features are erased for mortal fear of bullies. Personally, I wasn't bullied at school, my sister was - I put this down entirely to the fact that she is an extrovert character who was in people's faces, whereas I was very quiet and shy. If she hadn't been bullied about her hair, it would have been something else, the trigger was not the hair, it was her personality.

And if we expend all this energy trying to make our DCs invisible to bullies, surely the bullies have won anyway?

Thought the OP was quite clear did not see anything about bullying in it. Did I miss something? I do not get your post angelene

Well I do get what you are saying , and you are right , we should never give in to bullies. But that is not what the OP is about.

Not the OP, but other comments on this thread. Sorry to be unclear.

If her poor kid is a ginge child has red hair, then she'll have to get used to comments.

Now THAT is a big foot in the mouse!

Have just had a heart to heart with my neighbour to check I wasn't going nuts .
The woman at the school, who was in my living room is also a dinner lady at the school to clarify.
My neighbour reminded me of another incident with the woman where her child was pulling our kittens by the legs and tails and the mother (the offended one) did nothing, so all in all I think I have more reason to ignore her than the other way round of relief.

I really have to leave MN now or DD will starve.

I am a red head and I have a red head son and I am afraid I would have been upset by the comment.

Red heads get a really rough ride and it can be tough to be a child with red hair.

I probably wouldn't ignore you for ever more, but I would have been a bit upset.

I love red hair, cannot for the life of me understand all the 'relief' jokes.

I think the woman is probably upset because you were only mortified at telling someone who happened to be a redhead that you were glad your child didn't have red hair, not because you had expressed such a stupid thought in the first place.

Can you imagine telling the mother of a mioxed race child "What a relief your new baby isn't too dark"?

mioxed mixed

Well we are all entitled to our likes and dislikes aren't we, knowing my luck her son will marry my daughter and I'll get redhaired grandchildren who will be adorable

I quite agree with what Lalalonglegs. People think they can get away with saying what they like about Red Heads. Chris Moyles is a great example of that bullying that poor girl from Girls Aloud.

To me saying nasty things about Red Head is definitely a form of racism, but is one that is ignored.

It's not racism I'm sorry that is totally over the top, la la makes a good point and you're right if i'd said that to a woman with blonde hair i wouldn't have been mortified at all.

Katie - isn't life too short to be worrying what this dinner lady might be thinking?
Certainly nothing to want to change schools over

You're making a big deal out of this just as much as she is - spend a bit more time thinking of more positive things and it'll all blow over.

Just be nice for f's sake

It's not difficult

It's not over the top, it's what it is. Red heads are singled out at school for bullying and believe me I would know and have had to put up with comments all my life. My son is now going through it and its because of his race!!

Well SH if you've been in that position as has my DH I'm sure you can understand above all others that I wasn't keen on any of my children having any reason to be targets, it's all very well saying stamp out redhead racism but unfortunately when dealing with children it's not that easy. I hope your son is ok because it's appalling behaviour to bully anybody and I'm afraid I feel bullied at the moment by this blardy woman.

My son is fine thanks KatieDD, we have totally sorted it out and he is a tough little chap. I just get a bit upset when people think it's OK to mock redhead or say what they like about redhead when every other form of racism is so sensitive and quite right too!

I didn't get your bit about you feeling bullied by this blardy woman. Who do you mean?

This woman at the school the one I told the story to (not the one with the newborn) who is also a dinner lady, only in that she'll make everyone feel so bloody uncomfortable and me feel like I can't attend the Christmas party because I don't want to ruin it for everyone else and she and her husband will keep this behaviour up for months. That's bullying but I can hardly run to the headmistress can I ?
Am thinking of just having it out with her this afternoon and getting it over with and then at least if she continues with her attitude everybody will see I've done all I can.
It might seem like a storm in a tea cup, which it is, but I'm dreading going to get my kids today.

and where do children learn to take the piss out of redheads? Why, from their PARENTS of course. Same place they learn all their prejudices initially, then it transfers around and becomes a peer issue.

i really don't know what you are on about

my head hurts trying to read your posts

Well mine don't take the piss out of anyone and if they did they would be in serious trouble.

What a stupid woman (pig-ignorant, not you!) We have plenty of re-heads in out family, but id have had a gasp/chuckle at you re-telling your story of the hospital incident!

Im also lolling at all those who are totally confused on this thread, plus those who have also been deeply offended

PI woman sounds like a bit of a cow tbh.