Need to get this off my chest before Monday - It's about Red Heads !

[KatieDD]

I was telling a tale in the playground about how i'd put my foot in it in the maternity ward.
The jist was that my DD was born with loads of hair, looked like a little monkey but it was dark brown.
Anyway a woman on my ward said oh hasn't she got lovely hair and without looking up from my magazine I said yes thank god it's not red like her dad's. Of course I looked up and she and her newborn had red hair.
I cringed, went back to the magazine she walked off.
If you heard this tale and had a son with red hair would YOU be mortally offended ??

I ask because on Thursday this happened and the woman who is pig ignorant at the best of times on Friday said hello to the person I was talking to and made a point of not saying hello to me, she's just looking for a reason to kick off again, we've had a few moments in the past.
I know it's petty but she has sat in my living room and told me my youngest has got better looking with age so she's not adverse to putting her foot in it herself.

I just know this is leading to an atmospher tomorrow grrr.

So.... you told a tale of how you had offended the parent of a red-headed child to another parent of a red-headed child?

Then you were surprised because the second parent was also offended?

Doh!

You aren't terribly good at learning from your own mistakes, are you?

Well yes I was surprised because it had duck all to do with the 2nd woman and as I was telling her I was mortified at the time I think it's a bit pathetic to get upset yourself.
Sorry for the confusion it was weighing on my mind last night, am over it now.

Well frosty, sort of right.
It wasn't a ha ha I was rude story, it was a you might want to get your lad to continue with his martial arts (which she was considering letting him drop) because my DH had red hair and got the shit kicked out of him conversation, so not starting off without good intention.

I'm amazed by this red hair thing! Didn't know people were teased/bullied about it (until reading on MN) - when dp and I see children with red hair we always remark to each other how gorgeous it is. I coloured my hair red for years because I like it so much.

not sure what the whole thing is about tbh, but hate how having red hair is still seen as some kind of affliction

it's truely bizarre

Well just had her husband (the one with the red hair) utterly blank me and talk to the person behind me so I guess I know where I stand, this afternoon should be fun.
Honestly I feel like moving schools.

I suggest you both just steer clear of one another

it sounds exhausting being you

you made an unkind comment about her newborn..in the maternity ward when evryone is feeling emotional. you claim she is pig ignorant (charming expression) and you didn't have the manners to look at someone who was complimenting your baby, i think its incredibly rude to continue reading your magazine whilst someone is trying to be friendly

Mummypingu - it is confusing, but I did not say anything rude to this woman's newborn, this is 6 years later.
If I could go back to the maternity ward and apologise to the first lady I would do so in a flash, I was tired and not in the mood for small talk if I'm honest but still I shouldn't have said what I did without saying sorry.
The pig ignorant one is somebody at school 6 years later who has taken offense at me retelling the story whilst laughing at myself and pointing out how horrified I was at what I'd said.

I have 2 redheads and I would just laugh. But she may be ticked off.

oops sorry..it is confusing!

I know it's really confusing and annoying me, DH has just had his ear chewed off

So you insulted an unknown woman's newborn in hospital (& she would heve been offended - is a bigoted remark to make imho)
You then repeat this insulting remark 6 years later to a woman who has a red-headed child?

TBH this woman has probably decided she is better off without you as an aquintance - that would have been my reaction.

I think you are not insulting people enough

Insulting hair colour is a bit lame. You need to think up something a lot more awful if you want to have any credibility as a rude person.

Seriously, she's being very silly to take offence and needs to either pull you up about it or get a life. Passive aggressive ignoring of neighbours over a minor slight is very teenage and silly, and something we British women need to stop indulging in.

I would have cringed for you tbh

Off the cuff comment, nothing really meant behind it i am sure. She may have been a bit put out i suppose.

I have a red head ds and hear comments all the time, people just feel they have to comment i think.

I would not have been offended because clearly there was no malice at all in the way you said it + it was just you relating something you had said to someone else and NOT about her son either.

But, SHE was offended, just tell her it was a tongue in cheek comment not destined to hurt her and you feel bad it did ( you can leave that bit out if you really are not sorry, but I think deeeeeep down you might be just a bit...)

The only reason I wouldn't apologise to the woman herself is that she herself has done it to me so many times i could write a book, she thinks if she says "not being funny like" on the end of an insult that makes it ok.

Am dreading pick up tbh

Just tell her it has taken you ages to get your own back after her foot in mouth job with the better looking with age comment - and now you have with the red hair comment

tell her to lighten up its only a game....

get there on the dot and waltz kiddies out of playground while smiling graciously

Maybe, then on the next occasion, let her know YOU are offended as she might need come back down to earth and realise we all say "stupid" things every now and then and it is not the end of the world. If she can't take it...

Or maybe you should ignore her, if you find her insulting most of the time anyway, it may just make pick up nicer not to have to put up with her.

Please, do write a book , I love other people foot in the mouth stories.. it makes me feel much better than my own ones...

Lol you are right it's not as I get anything from this arrangement, you'd hardly call it a friendship.

The one time I did bite back and text her how cross I was about her shouting across the playground to her little boy to get away from my DD because she's got nits (with not being funny like added on the end) reducing my 5 year old to tears, we didn't get spoken to for 6 months, so i guess we're back to that again.

Some of the other corkers from her include saying that one of the other Dad's is gay and his wife just puts up with it, that my DD will be anorexic because DH and I are gym bunnies so we'll send our kids the other way.

I don't have a child with red hair but I would have found your comment offensive.

I love red hair and red headed babies are scrummy!

I am very confused with the the original post is the mother of red headed child the one who made the comment about your child getting better looking? She sounds very rude I wouldn't worry too much about her tbh.

She is a truely HORRIBLE woman! How did you put up with that for so long?
LOL

Not the woman in the hospital she just walked off, poor soul.
The woman at school was the one who said I had an ugly baby.