to try to make the best of DDs hair???

[AstroPup]

Fed up of people acting like I'm a terrible mother for spending a little time on dd's hair (she's 7 btw).
Its naturally mid brown and a bit frizzy.
For a party last year i straightened it, it looked so nice and she loved it so now i do it every week (wknd, not for schhol).
Well, people are so bitchy about it. but why?
They dont have a problem with the highlights, just the straightening....i dont ge it.
Its really bugging me now.

You have my sympathy, my hair was awful when i was a child, a ball of frizz, and my mum used to spend hours blow drying it for me, it got better as i got older, but if it wasnt for my mum prpbably would have got teased a lot more for my awful bonce

and a good pair of straighteners will not damage her hair

Wasnt saying your dd has an awful bonce too btw, anyway yanbu

how peculiar. I would question the highlights more (if they are permanent) I guess excessive heat damages hair, but having a ball of frizz on your head isn't fantastic for your ego either.

I bet she enjoys the time with mummy as well.

As long as its done in a enjoyable positive way (ie not making her feel bad about her "natural" appearance) then I think all good

Oh, it is quite awful in its natural state
Thanks VT.

sorry - she has highlights as well? Maybe people think she is overly concerned about her appearance (or you are) at such a young age?

Although I would add I think it's each to their own as long as she enjoys it. Tis not something I would do. Mind you I struggle with getting dd to let me brush her hair....

I have more of a problem with you highlighting your childs hair - why on earth would you even think of putting those sort of chemicals near a young child? Do you think it makes her more attractive? There is a little girl of 8 in DDs class with highlights and it looks disgusting - she is a child who is naturally pretty and doesn't need her hair dyed!

You could use products to make your daughters hair more manageable without having to straighten it.

Me too!!

My DD aged 9 has a lovely colour hair but it is not quite curly, just very wavy and a bit of a nest!

I straighten her hair regularly and you would think I had tortured her the way some people react!

I know other people think it's lovely to have natural waves but she hates it! Children don't always want to be different. It's hard enough being 9 without hating your own hair!

is it curly? lots of people who can't handle curly hair end up with frizz.

I have exactly the same hair as your DD and now use straighteners. I wouldn't however, use them on a child as I don't think even a really good pair of straighteners is going to be good for the hair if used every week. (I've noticed my hair is certainly more prone to damage when I use them)
As for the highlights? Definitely not.

I don't think either highlighting or straightening is the answer as I think it would encourage her to become more body conscious unnecessarily.

You could just put serum in her hair after a gently conditioner and it would combat the frizz.

And are you highlighting her hair because it's a mid-brown? Most people's hair is that colour.

You highlight it too? now thats a different kettle of fish, why would highlight a 7 years old hair?

My DD has wavy hair. It is lovely, if washed, combed through and left to dry. Then I just pop a clip in and it frames her face. But after being slept on it is not so fantastic. So on those days, she can have bunches or a plait or whatever.

After a bit more thought I think even more strongly - I think it is wrong to highlight as 7 year olds hair.

At this age you should be encouraging her self-esteem to love herself the way she is.

Highlights? Why?

I don't believe you.

Strightening the frizz for a party is ok in my book, but highlights! do you live in a trailer park?

not that you're bothered, but if you post a picture of a seven year old, preferably your seven year old, with highlights, I will believe you

Gosh I didn'ty think there was anything wrong with strightening -it's temporary and could be fun for your dd.

But highlighting is permanent. It feels like more of a teenage thing too me.

But I kniow people feel differwently about this sort of thing. I;d llove dd1 (aged 8) to have her ears pierced like they do in France & Spain, but she refuses!

Her hair gets natural highlights in the summer which she loves, so its just carrying them on through winter. were not talking blonde stripes, just some natural looking golden-y bits round her face. Looks really sweet and summery.
Shes very, very far from body conscious but has probably got it from me that hair is for messing about with and not taking too seriously but not the worst attitude i dont think.
Particularly narks me that the woman who most goes on about straightening and how it will make dd vain and looks obsessed is seemingly unaware that on playdates her daughter is forever trying to get my dd to go on a 'diet' with her and telling dd how she is 'plain' unlike herself who is 'prettier than other girls'.
Luckily dd lets this wash over her but it makes me laugh that supposedly my daughters hair interest will make her vain and too into her looks.
Too simplistic.

Straightening hair is fine. I have curly hair and my mum used to spend hours blow drying it before GHDs were invited. It also makes it a bit more manageable.

But highlights? Noooo.