to think that Learning An Instrument is a bit of a useless skill?

[morningpaper]

.... ?

It seems to be something that cheery middle-class mummies with too much time on their hands foist upon their (mainly female) children.

What is the point of it REALLY in this day and age? They don't need to trill something tuneful on the piano to snare a husband - is it REALLY worth the time and money for some very specific and probably fairly useless skills?

(Special announcement: He can play the Eastenders theme)

Some things have an intrinsic value in their own right: to some music is beautiful and transcendant. It's metaphysical/ existential and brings pleasure and joy to the soul... if you are souless, perhaps you don't get joy from music/ art/ butterflies in the sun, but don't slag others off because they want to pass on certain pleasures to their children.

Thready - at 9, and only 6 months in, you're definitely right to concentrate on enjoyment. Time enough later for him and his teacher to think about grades, if he is interested in doing them. DS didn't do a grade till grade 3, then skipped to 5, and is now working towards 7 - they're not compulsory even if he wants to carry on with the instrument to adulthood, though things like the schools orchestras may say they need to be at "grade x" level it doesn't mean they actually need to do the grade exam, just be up to that standard.

Threadworm, my 9yo ds is a shambolic pianist by nature but when firmly encouraged to practice more, makes amazing progress.

I think that if either of you (generally) are whining then you need to re-negotiate the practising. My ds is motivated by winning things and so has managed to discipline himself to practice loads for a recital/festival thing today. I fully expect to hear very little for the rest of the week after the performance today.

I think that we are lucky because my dh does play nearly every day for pleasure and gets very excited at battling a new music book (the latest is Coldplay's greatest hits) until he sounds good. Consequently, ds has had years of observing his dad getting thoroughly pissed off by new music, battling with it and getting there in the end. Music is deffo a thing to be enjoyed here, not a horrendous imposition to make me feel smug. Sadly I know that there will be terrified and tearful children at the festival today. I think that it's one thing to learn an instrument but another thing entirely to force children to perform. I couldn't care less whether ds performs, just as long as he enjoys himself. It is a bit of a downer to witness though.

have only rea the first post but in fairness that's all i need to read.
beng able to play an instrument is just a brilliant talent, and one most peple regret in later life if they are unable to do so.

Thanks amuminscotland. I hear a lot about grades at the schoolgates but have never really found out about them properly.

I have sister-who-was-crap-at-music-when-other-sister-has-grade-8-piano syndrome.

Well Threadworm, I think he's doing well, so good on him. As I say, it is a particularly challenging instrument to learn.

Good luck for ds at recital/festival thing judge n.

Apart from all the benefits other posters have described, learning music (at least for exams) means learning the theory as well - ie composers like Beethoven, Mozart and their life, the different eras of classical music and the type of music typical of each age, together with a few choice Italian words. Whilst my fingers were like bananas on a keyboard, I found the theory side of music extremely interesting and enriching, plus it gave me an appreciation of classical music which tends to be forgotton in this contemporary age.

I steal a march on my philistine dh who never studied music. I can recognise the more famous pieces and their composers. It enhances my enjoyment of classical ballet and opera. Good for blagging.

I didn't even know French Horm was hard. The teacher went through a mysterious process of matching brass instruments to children, based on -- what//? How long their arms were???

Thanks for answers. Have to go now.

Thanks Threadworm! I feel sick. My dh usually takes him as I can't bear it. Thankfully, all the organisers there are very thoughtful and kind. When DS took his prep test (the one you do before the grade one) the examiner was lovely and really made it a constructive experience.

I do think that children who want to play, even if they are never going to be 'excellent' can get so muh out of meeting people who like music as much as them. Music just broadens life IMO.

i havent read the whole thread but presume the op doesnt have such a useless skill.

music is wonderful, classless and timeless

Been thinking about this some more and have realised that at least 80% of my friendships were forged during my days playing in a band. Most of the places i have visited were in my band days. Most my great pre-children memories are of those times.
I played until was 30 and always feel quite sad that life got in the way of something that i got an awful lot out of and i could no longer dedicate the time to it that it deserved (and required).
But a few years on its still a bit of a conversation piece as most people think its quite cool that i can play the bagpipes

Anniemac,
"cheery middle-class mummies with too much time on their hands"
Does this not sound a tad sniping to you? Do you not pick up a note (non musical of course) of sarcasam and bitterness?

Music is fab to play, and to listen to.

My life would be pretty awful without beautiful music. And if no-one learns an instrument, who makes the music?

Come to think of it, one of my in-laws was in a rock band signed up with a major music label. I think he makes a good living of it.

I wonder why it is that so many people choose piano for their children when it leads to relatively few opportunities to play later on, compared with istruments that have a lot of back-row performers in orchestras. Is it easier to learn than alternatives?

Bubbaluv I am quite full to the brim of sarcasm and bitterness

it keeps me going

betcha don't believe in your op at all do you morningpaper?

A lot of musicians also play piano as an extra thing - I believe it helps to learn about things like harmony (?), so maybe there are a lot of potential teachers around... Also if you have one in the house (old fashioned middle class people often did ) then it's fairly easy, and you don't have to transport it back and forwards to lessons.

Ah, thanks mumInS

My ds chose piano as he wanted to be like his dad. I have to say that dh (and now ds) will sit at anyone's piano at anytime and have a play whilst, I suppose, other types of instuments tend to be kept in their cases.

I think lots of people have come up with fab anecdotal tales of enjoying being in groups and bands so other instuments deffo have their place too. The piano is just such a simple pleasure, unites left and right side of brain beautifully and nearly always sounds nice.

I used to play violin and sax. The violin was torture to my family and the sax was just loud.

Threadworm, interesting question about piano. If I introduce my dcs to music, I would have a soft spot for the piano, inspite of my own less than sterling performance on that instrument. A pianist can carry a performance by themselves without the back up of an orchestra. For a middleclass parent, very tempting to be able to show off your dcs' skills. It also makes a very lovely collection of sounds. A lot of pieces are written for the piano alone. Plus the rocket man Elton John.

Downside is you have to find a space for the dratted thing. Upside is it is less noisesome than other instruments, even when played badly.