to think that Learning An Instrument is a bit of a useless skill?

[morningpaper]

.... ?

It seems to be something that cheery middle-class mummies with too much time on their hands foist upon their (mainly female) children.

What is the point of it REALLY in this day and age? They don't need to trill something tuneful on the piano to snare a husband - is it REALLY worth the time and money for some very specific and probably fairly useless skills?

Lots of interesting comments re piano. I asked partly because my sis progressed to a high level with it, and of course has relatively few chances to play.

[Prepares to lose all credibility] I also like the fact that my ds can plug in headphones when he just wants to have a good old crash-about practice on our electric Clavinova thingy.

[/leaves thread to people with 'proper' instruments ]

The fact that, so long as you get it tuned, all the notes sound right must be an advantage at the start too - with something like the violin, the learner has to work out how to make the notes and if they don't have a good ear for it they can sound pretty horrendous... At least on the piano the worst they can do is play notes that don't sound right together...

My DS has obsessed about the piano since tiny, now (age 6) having lessons and soon to sit the pre grade one exam. This is all driven by him, we never ask him to practise, he just does it, it is a huge part of his life and he loves it. Total mystery to us but there is no way we could deny the chance to learn for him. So yes, YABU (that is unless the child is clearly tone deaf and is suffering the learning to suit the parent, we know one of those poor kid!)

It hadn't even occured to me that my ds wouldn't at least be having a go at learning an instrument.

He certainly enjoys banging on the piano even now at 20 months, and seems delighted that he is able to make these sounds himself. He's also figured out that the keys up up at one end make tinkly sounds, while the ones down at the other end make deep, booming sounds.

To those that know about these things - at what age would you consider starting piano lessons? I think I was about 5 or 6, but I'd wanted to for ages and kept pestering my parents for lessons (and a piano!). Has anyone started earlier?

(I'm also secretly keeping my fingers crossed that ds will want to play the drums at some point as I think this is just SO COOL, but obviously wouldn't force him to do it...and won't be mentioning my hopes to the neighbours just yet, either)

I'd certainly push children towards a band or orchestra instrument, as the pleasure of doing something in a group is a real advantage over something you can only do solo.

Threadie - if your DS is good and enjoys it, consider individual lessons for him at some point. They are more expensive but he will make much more progress.

That's one of the things I was wondering about Grammaticus.

I think we get a parents' evening with the music teacher at some point. I'll ask him then.

We'd have to buy an instrument for that (school service won't let you use them for private lessons I think) so would mark quite a significant change. We'll ease up to private lessons if and when DS feels he'd like to go that way.

Oh, morningpaper, you are a cheeky monkey!

Performing arts in this country generates millions in revenue and attracts international tourism
Not useless really
Why not get agitated about joyless things like commuting or spring-cleaning instead

Eh?

In that case we should also scrub flower-arranging and sketching form the curriculum! Oh..we have

DS#1 is going to to learn the play drums next term. Do you think that will help him 'snare' a husband mp?

When I think of the 1,000s of pounds my parents spent on my music lessons in piano, violin, 5 grades of music theory, I just wonder what that amount of money could have done towards a deposit on my first house, etc. I am generally musical but was never very good at playing instruments. So yes it is a bit of a useless skill and a very expensive one at that. Parents want their child to play an instrument as it shows their ability to spend money needlessly.

'Parents want their child to play an instrument as it shows their ability to spend money needlessly.'

That sounds very bitter. And silly.

Its funny that for every person who says 'I'm never going to nag my children to practice/play an instrument they don't want to' there's another who says ' I wish my parents had encouraged me to persist/given me the opporutnity to play an instrument'. Is it not the case that whatever we poor loving parents try to do for the best, our kids will curse us for it

I suppose I'm of the school of thought that says they should be offered opportunities. But I also think that children do need to be expected to practice, just like they have to do homework, not just allowed to dip in and out. I do think parents need to impose some of this, and it is not always going to be popular.

I personally enjoyed the instruments I did, and I'm glad I can read music. My brother uses his music in his career, something he'd never have predicted and he was definitely 'forced' to practice/play against what would have been his natural teenage inclination. Other brother (probably the most musical of the lot) has enjoyed playing in bands but doesn't do anything now, as he is suffused with bitterness about most things to do with his upbringing

MrsJ, instrument lessons were free in my education authority and I gather they still are. So music lessons aren't merely the preserve of the rich, poncy or fooling themselves (at least, not everywhere). FWIW, I think it's nice if your parents shelled out for lessons rather than a deposit on a house

I saved for my own deposit and I am proud of myself because of it

How does the fact of your musicalness manifest itself then??

I think that instrument rental plus lessons costs us something like £40 per term (not sure of exact amount)

My dad taught himself to play the guitar in his early teens.

He has been all round the world on the back of this skill, played all kinds of music, and is now very happily ensconced at my old school teaching music to teenage kids. In fact, so happy are the school with his performance that they are paying for him to do a work-based learning teaching qualification, thus fulfilling his desire to participate in higher education, something he could not do earlier in life due to shitty circumstances.

His music has been a source of joy to him in more ways than I could list, and to lots of other people too.

So not useless or expensive.

My DS, as the child of two amateurish musicians, will certainly have our encouragement and support to explore as much musicmaking as he likes

Our school ofers subsidised lessons.

I'm not a MC Mummy by any means (Bridgy girl remember? ), and my children are decidedly not female LOL.

For ds1 it's mostly about confidence; he doesn't excel in schoolwork generally (being SN), he's not a musical genius either but he does OK and for that half an hour he's as good as anyone else. For ds2- well i just don't beleive in offering to one child and not the rest iyswim. He's shite at violin but actually very good ats inging, and it's the instrument classes that teach the ability tor ead music, there isn;t time in school or choir.

(£30 per head per term, I bought instruments on ebay and pass them down)

Oh aother examlpe-

cousin- never dx due to pushy aunt (she'd outpush anyone on MN I can tell you), but clearly AS or HFA. got a scholarshuip based on rather wondrous musical ability to a fab school, and is reading chem and music at Uni; it's the chem that will feed and house him, and the music that ives him friends and a social life playing in bands, groups etc. Money (not subsidised) rather well spent I think.

Hi - sorry, didnt read all. No, dont think its a useless skill at all.

My dh is extremely musical. He took up the clarinet in secondary school as a hobby - he was from a "bad" area with many of the kids getting up to some sort of trouble and was encouraged to put his energies into the instrument as a positive distraction almost.

He can sing, he can play the clarinet, guitar, piano, tin whistle.. aw, loads.

Hes now a Military Musician, hes been in the army since he left school - its a fabulous job, secure, pensionable - they play in the concert hall, alot of PR gigs, Presidential visits etc..

He works on average 15 hours a week which enables him to spend a nice bit of time with our dd and help keep things going at home while I'm at work. He also earns 10k more than I do! (and I work 40 hour week!!)

Hes starting to gig now, in local pubs, functions etc.. its a way of socialising for him in a way, hes doing what he loves and still brings in a few pound.

People love him at parties etc.. because he always starts a sing song - takes out the guitar and it makes everyone feels happy and have fun!!.

Dont think its a useless skill at all! (its our livelyhood!)

His biggest complaint is that his parents didnt encourage him more with music when he was younger. He thinks he could have done even better.

Have only read the OP, but YABU!

It's a lovley skill to have, most of my best times at school were playing with the orchestra or the jazz band.

i just wish I had kept it up more .

Certain professions such as dentistry see playing a musical instrument as an indication of dexterity so look for it on their admission criteria.

It also looks better on your CV to have participated in extra-curricular activities.

Having said that I would only encourage my DS if he proved to have musical ability and wanted to play an instrument. I wouldn't force it on him.

Going back to the point MrsJ made - it certainly doesnt have to be about spending a lot of money.
Most bands are crying our for new young members to come up through the ranks. Most will have someone available to teach and many will even be able to provide an instrument, at least in the short term. And all for the cost of just weekly "dues".

A lot of people making a living from it and not just famous musicians either!

My aunt was a fantastic musician (not much of a person so there's no hero worshiping here) she could play any instrument (except brass as she had an accident as a child and smashed her front teeth) and if she didn't she'd be orchestra standard in 6 weeks. She was a music teacher before she had finished her GCSE's (and I don't mean she tutored other the other kids, she was a fully qualified music teacher) Music was her living (it would take a lot of space to type about her music) and kept her well.

I can play a few instruments, mainly self taught and I love to sing, I do it at home to entertain myself and now Tink too! Tink is like me and loves music, although I feel that may be unfair on her as she seems to have a real understanding of music far beyond me (on a like for like basis, IYKWIM) I think she has inherited her great-aunts musicality gene.

Musical ability helps with other skills too.