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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that Learning An Instrument is a bit of a useless skill?

305 replies

morningpaper · 11/11/2008 09:39

.... ?

It seems to be something that cheery middle-class mummies with too much time on their hands foist upon their (mainly female) children.

What is the point of it REALLY in this day and age? They don't need to trill something tuneful on the piano to snare a husband - is it REALLY worth the time and money for some very specific and probably fairly useless skills?

OP posts:
twentypence · 17/11/2008 07:17

To those of you who think it's middle class I have two words

Brass Band

asdmumandteacher · 17/11/2008 09:02

So agree with all sad. My son has severe ASD and has better pitching aged 5 than my GCSE pupils...its an amazing skill and talent and has led him to access language (thru rhythmical rhymes and nursery rhymes)

asdmumandteacher · 17/11/2008 09:04

I do agree that the youth orchestra thing is middle class nowadays - it didn't used to be in post war years...eg the LSSO (London Schools Symphony Orchestra) used to be for state school pupils alone (I know because hubby was in it and i wasn't allowed being private school pupil) but for the last 10 years or so they have been taking in private school kiddies...why? Is it because since the abolition of ILEA music services have been cut massively and it has become increasingly elitist...yes (unfortunately) i would argue

figra · 25/11/2008 11:46

My seven year old boy has been learning the violin for a year - and I'm constantly apologising for it, thanks to attitudes like that above (sorry morningpaper, but you've hit a nerve!). He's learning because he wants to, it was entirely his idea, and he loves it! From 2 1/2 to 6 he went to a music and play class (singing songs, clapping, marching and jingling bells - great fun, no pressure and NO "jazz hands"!), which we kept up for so long because it was his favourite thing of the week, and because I enjoyed the natter and the coffee with the other mums in the waiting room. The classes end at age 6, at which point the teacher brought in a load of different instruments for the kids to have a shot at. To my surprise, ds took one look at a violin, begged to be allowed to hold it, and fell deeply in love. I am not at all musical - although I'd love to be. DH is, but is more electric guitar and Thin Lizzy than violin and Bach, so it certainly wasn't based on parental pressure or expectations. Yes, it costs us 13.00 a week in lessons, and we've had to buy a violin, but it's been wonderful for his confidence, and his concentration, and he loves every minute of it. He is not a child prodigy, is unlikely to make a living at it, and when he was invited to join a youth orchestra this year, he and I discussed it and decided to leave it a year and rethink it, as we both wanted him to have enough time just for play. He does it for fun, because he finds music deeply interesting, and because he gets a lot of satisfaction out of it.
What I want to know is this - why do people assume that certain hobbies (like a musical instrument) are based on parental aspirations, while others, like football, are entirely the child's own idea? I know several little boys who have been made miserable by their dad's insistence that they will play football at the age of 5, going to training twice a week and to a game at the weekend with said Dad shouting from the sidelines ... why is this perfectly acceptable, when learning and enjoying music is not? (And before you jump to any conclusions, my son is also very sporty!)

I think I smell some inverted snobbery...!

Catzenobia · 25/11/2008 11:59

I play the violin and it (and music generally) is one of the things that gives me the greatest pleasure in life. My DD is only 7 months old but I hope that she will find something in her life that she enjoys as much, whether that's playing an instrument, climbing mountains or whatever.

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