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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disgusted with this woman?

124 replies

BarbieLovesKen · 07/11/2008 14:10

I am so fucking angry. On my lunch break I parked up to run into a shop, it?s a road in the middle of town and there?s parking spaces each side of the road ifykwim, there?s not many shops, mainly residential.

Anyway, couldn?t get a parking space very near to the shop so was a bout 10 cars away from it, as I pulled in this woman pulled in beside me with her baby (approx 6-7 months old) in a car seat, in the front seat! - I thought this was completely stupid but gets better.

I went into the shop and when I came back out and was getting into my car noticed that little baby is sitting in car on his own the car is, as I said about 10 cars from the shop so not like she could throw an eye out the window to him, plus its a large shop anyway and the desk is far from the door, very busy road with both cars and pedestrians - I sat for a minute because I was worried - seen the lock up on the car so presumably unlocked so anyone could pop open the door and take the baby etc..

10 minutes later the stupid bitch arrives out with a bag of shopping.

I?m so angry. So many people out there would give their right arm to have a baby and actually take care of him/her responsibly.

grrr...

OP posts:
potatofactory · 07/11/2008 17:19

I have no air bag in the front of the car, so that's where my child seat is. I'd be pretty bloody annoyed if I thought someone was JUDGING me.

littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 17:19

Barbielovesken - do you still feel so strongly about babies in the front seat IF the airbag is off/there isn't an airbag?

If you do, what is the problem? (genuine query as I am planning on switching off airbag and having baby in front, rear facing)

Is there any guidelines or evidence that says it is wrong?

FWIW I agree that I wouldn't leave the baby in the car (locked or unlocked) and don't think it's a good habit to get into as it develops a false sense of security. You could do it 20 times no problems and then on the 21st - baby chokes on a button, or own sick, or saliva rare I'm sure but still possible. Would you forgive yourself for that 1 minute extra convenience in not getting the buggy out the boot...

AlistairSim · 07/11/2008 20:12

ronaldhino - Of course the Pope can eat sausage rolls, he's like mega-holy or something.
And when he's in the woods, iykwim, they come out as Angels.

weenawoo · 07/11/2008 21:59

Would worry that mine would be scared to find herself all alone in the car.

Kimi · 07/11/2008 22:08

I think to leave a child in a car alone is a silly thing to do, and not something I have done or would do, however everyone does what they feel is right.

My sister was on her lunch break two days ago and heard a child screaming, she looked round to see a woman dragging a child (aged about 2) along, hitting her and yelling at her, child was distraught.
My sister had just walked past 2 special police people in the shop and she went in and got them out to go after this woman, I guess some will say what did it have to do with her or the woman was having a bad day or sis was judging, whatever.... sometimes you have to call it how you see it

asdfghjkl · 07/11/2008 22:31

I can't believe so many people think it's fine to leave a baby on its own in a car (an unlocked one at that)!

"There have also been several cases of a car being stolen while, unknown to the thief, a child was still inside."

www.rospa.com/roadsafety/advice/incarsafety/info/children_in_cars.pdf

tazmosis · 07/11/2008 22:33

littleladyloulou - its generally less safe in the front seat of cars, if you look at accident stats the majority of fatalities in car accidents are front seat passengers. So even with the airbag off, your child is at greater risk in the front than in the back.

That said, when dd1 was new born i used to turn the airbag off and have in the front with me in her rear facing seat for long journeys, because I was terrified of her choking or something! I was a very paranoid new parent!

ChirpyGirl · 07/11/2008 22:34

Re: the airbag thing I can't tell you how mnay people used to come and have a go at me when they saw DD1 in the front seat.
I would point out that my car was quite old, had no airbags at all and the rear seatbelts wouldn't fit round a rearfacing seat but it made no difference.
I was threatened with teh police, NSPCC, socail services more times than I care to rememebr, so calm down about that bit, it is completely irrelevant to her leaving the child in teh car alone.

Littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 22:38

Flippin heck re having baby in front!!

I would also prefer baby to be in the front seat if I was travelling on my own.

sleepycatonabroomstick · 07/11/2008 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

earlynite · 07/11/2008 22:44

The stupid bitch is the one who left her baby in a car alone. Some people don't deserve children.

earlynite · 07/11/2008 22:47

I know, lets all leave our babies at home in bed and all go and discuss this in the pub! They will probably be alright!?

onager · 07/11/2008 22:59

When I was young people would leave a baby in a pram in the front garden to get some air. This was actually recommended I think. (don't know why the front especially, but many of us had tiny back gardens big enough for dustbins)

In order for a baby to be snatched there has to be a snatcher nearby at that very moment. Next time you are out take a moment to look around at the other shoppers. Most(all) will be ordinary people out shopping.

I think the car getting stolen with the baby in it is a red herring, but in that case putting it in the front is safer since they would see it.

colacubes · 07/11/2008 23:02

Doesnt deserve children, and stupid bitch?????

Well bloody hell its Barbie the Super Mum! Please we all do things half cocked, or things we later consider a little rash, this could well be one of those times, but if I was you I would reserve that kind of vulgar disparaging name calling for a truly vile individual.

sleepycatonabroomstick · 07/11/2008 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 23:03

But sleepycat, I don't mean to be contraversial Or critical, honestly, but...What if they started screaming and someone reported you to Tesco, and you had an audience and the manager waiting at your car when you got back to it, would you not feel ashamed?

Had they not been snatched but instead had choked (perish the thought but it's more likely than snatched) would you not give anything to take the five minute to get them out of the car? Would you look back and think there's nothing more you could have done, that it really wasn't your fault?

Not saying it would your fault or anything be but would you really not blame yourself? Tempted though I'd be to do it I just couldn't because I know I couldn't pay the price afterwards in the rare event that something went wrong.

Littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 23:05

X posts sleepycat, I was posting in response to your earlier post

(I don't think you are a stupid b by the way)

onager · 07/11/2008 23:08

but if we're just saying about leaving them alone then what happens if they are sleeping in your house and you go into another room.

earlynite · 07/11/2008 23:11

I agree with littleladyloulou Has no one learnt from the tragic McCann case?

Littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 23:12

onager valid point but I think times (and morals) have changed since the 60's and 70's along with a whole lotta other stuff:

  • driving without a seatbelt
  • drinking and driving
  • leaving kids outside pubs all afternoon to wait for you (this was fairly common)
  • kids under 10 playing out all day and evening in the summer
  • poor health and safety practices (the real life-saving stuff like hard hats and hi vis coats, not documents on how to avoid paper cuts)
  • teachers could smack/hit/throw things at pupils

to name a few..

There wasn't the same levels of so-called "feral" kids because there was Borstal and because elders had more of a grip on youngers.

There was fear

Littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 23:16

onager you would have done nothing to blame yourself for nor could anyone else, if you are in the same house because that's a natural and normal situation, not one that you have contrived (such as leaving them to go into a shop). You are taking reasonable care and attention (unless you have left them in the bath to answer phone or something).

Whereas there is an area of blame/negligence/opportunity if you deliberately leave them to go else where.

Do you really not think there's a difference between the two scenarios?

onager · 07/11/2008 23:17

Oh yes it has changed, but I see little that is better to be honest. millions of people treating their children as potential kidnap victims doesn't cut the number of victims at all. It just degrades the quality of life of those it's meant to protect. (I'm mostly thinking of kids unable to play outside)

sleepycatonabroomstick · 07/11/2008 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onager · 07/11/2008 23:22

Littleladyloulou, You concede then that it it no more dangerous (not talking about snatching now but choking etc) to leave a child sleeping in a room or in a car?

It is no more 'natural' to leave a child while you wash up than it is to leave a child while you buy food. if you must take a child into the shop in case they choke then you should I suppose wake them up and carry them into the kitchen and all round the house as you clean up.

Littleladyloulou · 07/11/2008 23:27

I think it comes down to perceived levels of risk.

as it happens I think it highly unlikely that anything would happen to kids in a car in 10 mins timeframe. Really really unlikely.

It's just that the consequences are enough to put some people off because, someone, somewhere out there will have done it and a bad outcome will have happened.

It's like the recent incident of the family travelling with a baby up the motorway, the mother unstrapped the baby from her car seat to feed her and at that split second they were involved in a crash which very sadly the baby did not survive

The chances of that happening are remote - but it happened to someone and I don't want to be that "someone". I don't want to be the exception, or the 1:1000 person who it happens to - but it's going to be someone out there...