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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disgusted with this woman?

124 replies

BarbieLovesKen · 07/11/2008 14:10

I am so fucking angry. On my lunch break I parked up to run into a shop, it?s a road in the middle of town and there?s parking spaces each side of the road ifykwim, there?s not many shops, mainly residential.

Anyway, couldn?t get a parking space very near to the shop so was a bout 10 cars away from it, as I pulled in this woman pulled in beside me with her baby (approx 6-7 months old) in a car seat, in the front seat! - I thought this was completely stupid but gets better.

I went into the shop and when I came back out and was getting into my car noticed that little baby is sitting in car on his own the car is, as I said about 10 cars from the shop so not like she could throw an eye out the window to him, plus its a large shop anyway and the desk is far from the door, very busy road with both cars and pedestrians - I sat for a minute because I was worried - seen the lock up on the car so presumably unlocked so anyone could pop open the door and take the baby etc..

10 minutes later the stupid bitch arrives out with a bag of shopping.

I?m so angry. So many people out there would give their right arm to have a baby and actually take care of him/her responsibly.

grrr...

OP posts:
Tidey · 07/11/2008 14:24

It's the rabid, foaming, angry part of MN, FFTM.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/11/2008 14:25

I always open the thread thinking it will be about some depraved woman using a baby as a football or something and its really just that she has called it dear instead of darling or something!

Original poster
BarbieLovesKen · 07/11/2008 14:25

Alistairsim - think thats a really good point.

OP posts:
Doodle2U · 07/11/2008 14:26

Alaistair - no - if neighbour was being beaten up or someone was being mugged, then something would be wrong.

The OP saw a woman make a choice that the OP would not have made.

So what?

To be "so fucking angry" "disgusted" and to infer that the baby was not wanted is just ludicrous ranting.

Rhubarb · 07/11/2008 14:26

Well then lock me up and throw away the key!

Seriously!

The car may not have had an airbag, if it didn't then having a baby in the front seat is not illegal and none of your business.

I've popped into shops leaving my kids unattended in the car, especially if they have been sleeping.

Just because other parents don't share your paranoia about the world doesn't make them any less of a parent. You may well parent your kids in a way that she disagrees with.

You are sounding very very judgemental and up your own arse today.

combustiblelemon · 07/11/2008 14:26

Well if the car had spontaneously burst into flames, at least the door was unlocked.

Unwise, yes. Worthy of disgust, no.

cantpickyourfamily · 07/11/2008 14:27

I had dd in the frount with me as I switched my air bag off, but I wouldn't leave dd in the car alone for 10mins.

But some people know that they could leave their baby in the car for an hour and they would not wake. So 10mins they think will e fine.

But leaving the door unlocked was not a good idea, and what would she of done if someone had taken her dc? Also someone could of crashed into her parked car which could also have been a problem for the LO.

I never let my dd out of my sight but some parents are alot more easier going.

ermintrude13 · 07/11/2008 14:27

ah right, it was a quote not an expletive. sorry for misunderstanding rubyslippers!

i still think leaving babe in car is a careless thing to do rather than pure evil - would hate to think of mine getting all upset and wailing!

wehaveallbeenthere · 07/11/2008 14:28

I don't think you are being unreasonable but short of turning the person in (aren't there laws against this? maybe not) there is very little you can do about it.
There isn't a day that goes by that someone somewhere isn't putting a child at risk. Some care more than others. Unfortunately, you can't save everyone and children have no voice of their own.

mabanana · 07/11/2008 14:28

Why on earth are you upset about the baby being in the front? My babies have always gone in the front next to me.
Not ideal to leave the baby in the car, but as you said yourself, the baby wasn't distressed and it was only for a few minutes.
I am not opposed at all to people feeling responsible for children in general. I think it's important we all keep an eye out for children. In fact, I was upset myself recently to see a child of about two in a pushchair and a very large dog both left by a main road outside a branch of tesco, and the child was crying. I actually went into the shop to ask the security guard to get the parent out to see to the child. I thought the most irresponsible thing was leaving a large dog and distressed toddler together. But you do sound disproportionately angry.

RubySlippers · 07/11/2008 14:29

ermintrude - i think i should have used quotation marks!

J2O · 07/11/2008 14:36

the airbag(if there was one) may have been turned off, and i don't usually say this, but YABU, because i sometimes leave dd2 in the car while i run into shops.

Rhubarb · 07/11/2008 14:37

Exactly mabanana - well said!

Original poster
BarbieLovesKen · 07/11/2008 14:41

Mabanana - thats absolutely horrible dont blame you for being upset.

Ok, having calmed down I could have been unreasonable about the front seat thing (although personally wouldnt do it)still disgusted about the 10 minutes left unattended though - and that was 10 mins after I came back - so, could have been a little longer.

Oh and the baby wasnt sleeping - wide awake (not that it makes a difference imo)

OP posts:
Bramshott · 07/11/2008 14:45

Statistically, surely a baby is safer left alone in an unlocked car (so that someone could get to it in case of an emergency), than in a locked one?

I'm sorry, whilst this might surprise me a little, given that 10 mins is a reasonably long time to leave a baby of this age, and it's great that the OP was looking out for the baby, I certainly wouldn't waste any energy being "disgusted" over it.

OrmIrian · 07/11/2008 14:47

Oh yes concern is fine. Disgust is quite OTT.

LaVie · 07/11/2008 14:47

I always had ds in the front seat because I have a very old car so no airbag! She'd only be irresponsible if the car seat wasn't strapped in.

I agree that the woman shouldn't have left the baby for that long though.

OrmIrian · 07/11/2008 14:49

I can't work myself up to the required level of outrage about a child who (presumably) was otherwise loved and cared for, being looked after in a way that I might or might not agree with.

Lockets · 07/11/2008 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
BarbieLovesKen · 07/11/2008 14:56

Lockets, my car has those locks (the pop ups that you can see) and its a '04 passat so hardly ancient. This woman's car had them too..

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/11/2008 14:57

When our car has child lock on the button is popped up but you can't open it from the outside, by the way!!

Lockets · 07/11/2008 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

debzmb62 · 07/11/2008 14:59

ssems a bit odd that some of you think its ok to leave the baby !! although its not the op problem i can see where she's coming from tbh ! i had my kids in front as long as airbag is off and they are safely strapped in its legal !! but leaving baby in car out of sight is out of order things only take a second 10 mins 10 seconds come on !i,d of been worried to

Ronaldinhio · 07/11/2008 15:00

yabu

nothing actually happened and the cnaces of anythong happening other than the child wakening were slim

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/11/2008 15:00

what "things" are you referring to though?