to be extremely fed up of all the single parent bashing threads?

[shelleylou]

Theres sooooooooo many lately. Yes we may claim benefits (im aware that other of us do work) to support our dc's but were doing the job of 2 people!!!!!!!!! Im fed up of all the judging by people who obvioulsy have no idea about it.

ahh but you see we're "easy" targets

haha aint met me then have they

who's been bashing us then??

i'll give em a piece of me mind

theres a few threads around

I'm getting this in rl too atm-a friend's mum was telling me how much harder friend had it than me as she had 2 dc's, and had to take them to see their dad on a sat morning and pick them up at the end of the day, and had a partner to clean up after (btw he does lions share of the housework (I know as I saw the house pre him ), baths the children, puts them to bed, takes them to school AND picks them up, and she does the food shop and evening meal) and how much easier my life was with only one dd and no access to arrange or family

Sorry, am in a bad mood because of said pokey nosed woman!

Might consider starting an 'In praise of single parents - doing what many people struggle to do as a couple' thread.

I think you're all amazing and very brave. Those who've never experienced it can have no idea of the complexities of the task in hand. Keep up the good work and ignore the bashing!

I want a partner bashing stick . But then again dd is ALL MINE, and I can squeeze her thighs without interference

I am compltely fucked off with it here at the moment

and sweeping generalisations and assumptions

I am equally fucked off though with all the single parents bleating on about "you don't know how hard it is" etc

it's not exactly helping the cause.

All parents have their problems. I love being a WOHM SINGLE PARENT and I'm proud of myself and my achievements..

even in the opening post, thread title is about single parents first line says 'yes WE mat claim benefits' NO NO NO some single parents claim benefits (just like some 2 parents families do).

Well the posters who have been bashing us have a 1 in 3 likelihood of being single mothers at some point in their lives. We wait with open arms.

And in the current economic climate, a lot of people who do kneejerk benefitscum posts are going to find themselves dependent on benefits, because there simply will not be the jobs they so arrogantly say they woudl find if they had to.

Fear doesn't bring out the best in some people.

And now I really am going to bed.

Two thirds of single parents WOHM

Probably a higher percentage than married mothers.

Now I'm going to bed....

Oooh ohhh oooh I'm not on benefits either-I missed that one!

Oooh ohhh oooh I'm not on benefits either-I missed that one!

mascara i also stated that i know others work for that reason.

I'm a single parent and I don't think anyone should be critizing single parents for moaning they have a hard time! We do - I didn't choose to be pregnant last time and i had nothing to do with the father so yes I had a rough time bringing a baby up on my own with no one to talk to every night - i spent 6 month on bebefits beofre going back to work - I am now pregnant again and in a happy relationship and am so lucky that I don't have to do it onmy own - People shouldn't get to have an uninformed oppinion, especially if they have never had to bring a child up alone!

Mascara the OP on this thread did state that some single parents do work.

Message deleted

Oooh gillyan I'd love a nice man to snuggle up to and whinge on! Hmmm .... but what would I dream about if that happened? I need to stay single to keep dreaming

sorry, it's not the point.. I'm sick of seeing statements that equate single parent with benefits.

and we don't haev a harder time than anybody else specifically... there are lots of people in lots of circumstances who have equally tough or tougher time. yes it's tough sometimes but it's tough for any parent sometimes.

be proud of what you achieve on your own.. look at your children and know that they are a credit to you. you did that.

Lets have a bit of positivity instead of all this it's so hard, woe-is-me.. life is what you make it. by acting negatively it will attract negative comments.. oh look at all those single parents moaning and claiming benefits.

I moan on here, blimey I do, I moan until I'm blue in the face but everybody does. we all have different issues and one circumstance doesn't automatically make anybody more hard done by than the next person.

I'd rather be single than being beaten or cheated on, and what about the women who's dh's work long hours etc.. they have the same issues as we do.

Don't take it personally, it's just another stick to hit women with.

The man leaves, does fuck all, no-one says anything The woman stays, does everything, everyone criticises.

Sorry, but bollocks to not moaning or saying life is hard as a lone parent. It is bloody hard doing it alone - and I mean alone, not with an ex who can (occasionally) take the dcs out. I am sick of hearing my friends moan about their dhs long working hours or petty issues when they don't have to face the fact that their dh is never walking through the door again. At least they get company of an evening or weekend.

Agree people have it worse in different ways - but I reserve my right to enlighten people who really don't know they're born about just what it is like to be 100% responsible 100% of the time. Especially when snug, smug partnered up people choose to have a pop at "single parents on benefits". Perhaps they should all give their child benefit back?

I would love a full time job, but unfotunatly there are only two childminders in the whole world that can pick my kids up from school. They have recently opened up so before that nothing, no after school club either, nothing.

But I manage to work part time, study full time from home for a degree and yes I do get benefits but as I have always had a job of some kind all be it part time I have paid tax and NI since I left collage and never been unemployed.

I am doing the best I can

SO GET IT UP YOU . oh and I help at the brownies.

Ohhhh whos done that then? Well I was a single mum for 9 years, was bloody hard work, I spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and juggling childcare, but one thing I was and will always be proud of is that i was a brilliant single mum!

I loved it, i loved my time with my ds, and I wouldnt have missed one minute of that for anything. if they have a bad word about single mums then stuff em, there problem not yours, Single Mums Rock!

"I'm sick of seeing statements that equate single parent with benefits."

I'm 99.99% certain the OP was also because of the same thoughts as you - there are at least 2 threads in active convo's at the moment that specficially link single parents with being lazy benefits claimants - the OP was simply stating her frustration with it.

I don't know how long you've been a single parent - however I do know (only 7 months into this new way of life for me) that in the early days and months it is bloody hard work. Especially for those who have been used to having someone around to help with the DC for many years. Perhaps you've got through that difficult stage and are onto the next bit where it's just "normal" and you are able to sit there and say well "I" did this, many single parents posting on MN right now are at the hard stage - the stage of adapting to a totally new way of life and so yes they (we - me included) moan more than those that have fully adjusted.

7 months into my single parent status I do still find things incredibly tough parenting wise , much tougher than when I was with exH (even though our relationship was pretty dire). Perhaps in a years time I will be able to stop moaning about how hard it is and be able to look at it as just like everyone else's problems - but right now it isn't happening.