to be extremely fed up of all the single parent bashing threads?

[shelleylou]

Theres sooooooooo many lately. Yes we may claim benefits (im aware that other of us do work) to support our dc's but were doing the job of 2 people!!!!!!!!! Im fed up of all the judging by people who obvioulsy have no idea about it.

It's really nice to see people on here supporting lone parents in what can sometimes be a thankless task. I think that the 'jeremy kyle watchers' have something to do with it . I have now met a truly lovely man [3 years ago Things have sometimes been a little stressful [with 2 kids of 19 and 24!] my daughter is also severely disabled and has just come outta hospital with me for 8 days BUT as mum said all good things in life are worth waiting for! and she was right, there are'nt many people who CHOOSE to be lone parents. It's a very long, hard, lonely Road and the money that is given to help in Benefits goes nowhere near compensating for the loss of a partner if they choose to walk away or leave you no other option than to tell them to go.

I am sick of them too. I know I can't work right now, and I also know I'm not a lazy scrounger who thinks the world owes me a living as was said to me on that other thread.

Sick of the threads I mean. I wasted far too much energy trying to 'reason' with that last loon on the other thread. Waste of time. I think fucketyfuck off is a better answer! so thanks for that one!

Also, perhaps I WENT a bit over board trying to make that poster SEE the practicalities single parents are up against, but that doesn't mean I would go back to living with a bastard or that I automatically envy everybody better off than I am. I am content now. Money isn't my God. Just as well mind you.

Okay read this as you want.

My mum was widowed when I was 6 - no one was at fault.

She tried to get help, claim benefits etc but the amount of hurdles in her way were unbelievable.

So I went to school with a key around my neck and she went to work. I learnt to cook our dinner and take care of the house ready for when she got home.

I am a more competent person for it I believe and had a good relationship with my mum who taught me the value of working hard. But if she had had more help financially she would have stayed at home and been a lot happier knowing that I got home safely!

Single mums do rock - but for anyone interested I am married - not that it has any bearing on my point.

Just a thought but could it be the same person starting all of these threads.

There was one a few weeks ago started by someone who said she wanted lots of angry replies so she wouldn't mumsnet anymore.

Think it's entirely possible that she has returned under a different name.

Obviously could be more than one person with the same opinion but their thoughts and situation's all seem very similar.

Honestly think they get a kick out of upsetting people and although I get very tempted to reply they really aren't worth it.

Oh I'm proud alright.

But it is hard to carry on holding your head high when you hear shit about scrounging sperm stealing single mums on a daily basis. I do get very tired of feeling like I should somehow justify my existence.

LOL LIffey I can't be arsed to argue with stupid people anymore, there's no point.

Fuck off does the job of letting them know you disagree, without wasting valuable time and energy on them

You're right, in future, fuckety fuck off, suck on that! like trollopy said to her about ten pages back.

The same mad poster is still slagging off single mums who 'choose' to stay at home on benefits on the "my husband earns 65k a year and we can't make ends meet thread". She's very sympathetic to the OP's dilemma!

I have nothing but complete admiration for single parents, I know at the end of the day I'm am counting down the hours until DP comes in.

If DP were to walk out tomorrow I would be a single mum of 3 pre-schoolers. I cannot do the job I once did and it was so highly specialised that I would not get another job even close to it so even though I have a degree I would be unskilled SO there is no way I could earn enough to support us all and pay for childcare so benefits it would be. I don't have any family help either so it would be me alone.

I honestly believe that 99% of single parents would work if it meant they were better off financially and could have reliable childcare, also if a single parent wants to stay at home until their DC are school age then they should be supported to do that.

Benefits are a pittance, I cannot believe people would want to bring up children on them forever if they could help it.

Nevermind the single mums bringing up their DC alone what about the feckless fathers they should be contributing a lot more to support their DC too.

I have a wealthy uncle who has a DD whom he has never paid a penny for, people like him should be slagged off.

I was raised by just my mum as dad up and died (inconsiderate basted), and it is hard going I saw that first hand, and yes for some time we were helped by the tax payers.

I am a 2 parent family other half works but we are struggling to make ends meet, not got a posh life style just more going out on food heat and bills then comes in. We get no help.
I do get a bit fed up when I see couples I know both sitting at home doing nothing and letting the tax man pay, one such couple I know have just had their 3rd holiday this year

Some people abuse the system, no one can say it does not happen, and they are a drain on a system there to help people who need it, sadly this sort of free loader gives everyone a bad name.

My mum did a wonderful job, we were clean, well fed and warm, and most of the single parents I know work bloody hard to raise their kids and bashing single parents is not a clever thing to do, its a bit sad really

What has a couple who cheat got to do with single mothers?

See this is the kind of confused thinking which just makes me v. impatient and intolerant. There is NO CONNECTION between a couple who have 3 holidays a year (something which is impossible on benefits and single mothers. But just by telling that story, you've re-inforced a myth of grasping, cheating single mothers, whether you meant to or not.

One person I know is claiming as a single mother while latest boyfriend is shacked up with her, she admits it freely...that is the kind of person that gives everyone a bad name so yes they are a couple but claiming as two people, and her as a single parent, he is on disability for a bad back, funny it does not seem to stop him plating football and rugby at the weekends though!

Real single parents have a hell of a job, and little help, maybe if the fake ones stopped robbing a system the people who really need the help will get it faster and more.

I think it is horrible that people say horrible things about single mums.

I am not a single mum and I have my DH to help out. But even we have days or weeks where it can all be too much and the hoovering doesn't get done as often as it should or neither of us can be bothered to cook and we all have fish fingers, chips and beans(good thing DS loves it).

I can't begin to imagine how hard it can be for single mums.

YAY for single Mums!!!

oh FGS.

One married woman I know is deeply dysfunctional and unhappy in her marriage. She resents her husband and has vague yearnings about leaving him/ killing him but is too scared to do so and instead uses the traditional tools of the powerless - manipulation, sulking, resentment, withdrawal of sex - the usual unhappy married woman's tools. They are providing their daughters with role modelling that is teaching them that mind games, resentment, powerlessness, manipulation etc. are the nuts and bolts of human relationships. It's married women like her who bring the rest of them into disrepute.

D'you see how unreasonable that sounds?

sorry kayzi that wasn't directed at you, cross posted. It was at Kimi

It's ok Bella.

My point is, that you are promoting negative stereotypes by telling your irrelevant anecdocte.

These threads have all been full of this stereotype shit.

This place has become marriedbigotsnet.com in the last 48 hours.

well said Bella.

Yes very well said bella.

Of topic but how are you?

fgs i suppose it makes me a nutter but all the sp threads that are bashing seem like troll boards looking for a fight
non?

we are a collective of women (mostly)
who would honestly, in their right minds, bash sp?

R I'm inclined to agree.

Just because we're quick to shout troll, doesn't mean the trolls aren't out to get us.

im good thanks just finished wrapping ds's presents and making special birthday biscuits. Doing his cake tomorrow.
How are you and bump

Fed up. Just 5 weeks to go. I need to start getting xmas presents. I am not organised this year.

Happy Birthday to your DS.

aww, dont remind me im gunna b a year older lol. Ive got a few but not many.
Thanks taking him to the zoo if weather holds