To think that being a single SAHM on benefits is not a 'lifestyle choice' but .........

[Littleredshoe]

basically scrounging ?

Surely being lucky enough to SAH with your children comes IF you can afford it? Either because you work part time, or have a partner who provides for you to do this.....

To just 'decide' that you 'prefer' not to work and live off benefits (when you are fit to work) is ridiculous and it makes me bl**dy angry that I pay tax to enable others to sit on their arses......

maybe I am ? But ......I bet there would be a lot less feckless teenage mothers if the 'right' to benefits and SAH was withdrawn.....

"As OrmIrian said, if its a Good Thing for a parent to stay at home in a couple, then why the hell should my child be denied that on top of being denied her father's care, attention and love? "

If you are of independent means that is fine but why should the economy carry you?

Oh for fuck's sake!

If life on benefits as a single parent is so great then give up your job, kick out your husband, move to a dingy damp ridden flat on the top of a high rise and claim benefits.

or instead just shut the fuck up and piss off back down your hole you silly ignorant twatt face.

I tend to feel rather sorry for people who post verbal diarrhoea like this.

There is obviously something wrong that she feels the need to put others down to make herself feel better.

Why are you unable to live alongside others who are in a different situation without comparing and criticising?

So do you want to share what is troubling you?

Do your neighbours have more material things than you?

Is dh shagging his secretary working late alot?

Are dcs not performing well at school?

You can tell us, we will comiserate with you.

angels - re what's paid for it depends totally on wehat benefits you are on. My sis is a single mum and trying to get back into work so does 14 hours a week. This means she is much worse off as her rent has to be paid (tho she does get a little help with it)
Every case is different as there are so many different kinds of benefit, some taken into account (WFTC means you dont get much help generally I find) and others that arent means tested (DLA/carers for eg)

Hope that makes sense!

"And actually I do not believe that single parents have a 'right' to SAH."

Does one lose the right to SAH if their husband dies young?

I have to say I agree that is not a prents right to SAH. plenty of parents work who would rather be at home because the have to pay the bills.

AGree with this statement 100%

"Oh for fuck's sake!

If life on benefits as a single parent is so great then give up your job, kick out your husband, move to a dingy damp ridden flat on the top of a high rise and claim benefits.

or instead just shut the fuck up and piss off back down your hole you silly ignorant twatt face."

If being a single mother was that easy, why would there be so many smug bridezillas and happy couples everywhere.

Not bitter HONESTLY. ONly......angry when I hear crap.

Notdoingthehousework, I am not living in UK.

Even if I were, I doubt it would be as easy as 1,2,3 like some people think.

Angelswithdirtyfaces, how DARE you say that the economy is carrying me???? Their father may be FAR too tight to put his hand in his pocket and pay maintenance, but he pays taxes (to the 'economy') for the last 16 years and isn't yet forty so will do so for another 20 odd years.

I paid taxes myself for 13 yrs, as do my brothers. My father paid taxes for 45 yrs.

Jeeeeeeeez. Shame on you "angelswithdirtyfaces" what a disgustingly ugly sentiment.

Angelswithdirtyfaces, how DARE you say that the economy is carrying me???? Their father may be FAR too tight to put his hand in his pocket and pay maintenance, but he pays taxes (to the 'economy') for the last 16 years and isn't yet forty so will do so for another 20 odd years.

I paid taxes myself for 13 yrs, as do my brothers. My father paid taxes for 45 yrs.

Jeeeeeeeez. Shame on you "angelswithdirtyfaces" what a disgustingly ugly sentiment.

Repeated in case you missed msg to you within my last post.

Well said Liffey!

Thank you Tinker! I don't want to believe that people are so quick to be this nasty and this begrudging if that's a word. It's upsetting and it's actually quite shocking!

I hope it is that they haven't taken the time to actually put themselves in other people's shoes and really work out what is possible and what's not possible.

I went to work the other day.

It's a good job, I love it, and other mums envy me.

I earned about £36 for the day.

I paid £39 for my child care.

Just as well I have a lovely husband, am able to be a SAHM and can work the odd day for minus £3 to keep my hand in.

What would happen if I was a single mum, I wonder?

'The difference was I suppose that I was 'contributing' by working. I didn't pay much tax though, maybe £5 a month.' So is contributing to a company or profit more important than contributing soley to your child's upbringing?

I think it's very sad that someone who has been put in that situation through no fault of their own should be seen in the way people have described on this thread. Not every single SAHM is a scrounger who has chosen that "lifestyle". As Liffey says/quotes it's not an easy life anyway.

Absolutely NotDoingtheHousework. I'm not in UK, so it's not the the UK gov supporting me, but I am proud as well as relieved obviously that I wasn't born in Rwanda or Guatemala or somewhere, where my children would be forraging through other people's rubbish to try and eek at a miserable existence.

We live in the civilised world, and that is a GOOD thing, right Angels?????

Having principles is a luxury I used to have too. Back in the days when £2,000 net used to go into my bank account each month, I had plenty of principles too. But when you have children to support, they, quite rightly, come before any misguided principle you might previously have held.

What matters most to me is bringing my children up the best I can, and tbh, and ignorant shite from strangers on tinternet is small fry. I have bigger worries. Such as what happens if the children need braces

Really, being a single mother on benefits is not all it's cracked up to be. I know some people think it's all flat screen tvs, sky plus and designer jeans!

Liffey

We are discussing the UK. If you were living here and on benefits, the economy would be carrying you. Shame on you.

I knew what you meant!!

It's an irony isn't it?

i am shocked that people on mn actually think single parents, do not have the right to sah.

It's the same principle. Dissing single mothers without having the brains to think things through and do the maths.

Uk gov, Irish gov, what difference does it make??

Shame on me? why? for understand the realities of MY life better than you do?

For having the audacity to defend myself?

Or for having the audacity to challenge you?

Liffey

if you read my early posts, you will see I'm on the fence. But when it comes down to it, anybody on benefits is having their life paid for by the economy.

I have no problem with you challenging me - but there is no need to be so rude and defensive.