To think that being a single SAHM on benefits is not a 'lifestyle choice' but .........

[Littleredshoe]

basically scrounging ?

Surely being lucky enough to SAH with your children comes IF you can afford it? Either because you work part time, or have a partner who provides for you to do this.....

To just 'decide' that you 'prefer' not to work and live off benefits (when you are fit to work) is ridiculous and it makes me bl**dy angry that I pay tax to enable others to sit on their arses......

maybe I am ? But ......I bet there would be a lot less feckless teenage mothers if the 'right' to benefits and SAH was withdrawn.....

If I am on benefits for a total of four years, the benefits I receive won't even equal a tenth of what my family (inc the children's father) have paid in tax over the years, never MIND the years to come.

What are taxes for then? Building roads? Well what use is that to me, I dont have a car! I'm too poor (phew you say, you'd have hated to think I had a car!).

Not another OP with no idea what they are talking about!

But it is a 'right' at present, for single parents to choose to stay at home and claim IS. One of the entitlement criteria is 'being a lone parent'.

You may disagree that it should be, but it is.

And at the moment I choose to exercise that right, as I believe it is what is best for my child. Sorry if you know so much more about my family and what is best for us

Liffey - What are taxes for then? Building roads? Well what use is that to me, I dont have a car! I'm too poor (phew you say, you'd have hated to think I had a car!).

Umm.. NHS for one or prehaps you don't use that? You are coming across as the sort of person who expects things to be handed to them on a plate.

You don't sound 'on the fence' as you put it angels you sound judgemental and closed-minded. I also don't think Liffey sounded rude or defensive.

I am not getting into a slagging match, if you bother to read my early posts you may see where I'm coming from.

Intelligent too. Telling people to fuck of is going to change views about single mothers on benefits. Good arguement.

angelswithdirtyfaces on Wed 05-Nov-08 18:56:14
Liffey

"if you read my early posts, you will see I'm on the fence. But when it comes down to it, anybody on benefits is having their life paid for by the economy."

Yes, but if you take a low-paid job, say caring for somebody else's child, that wouldn't be enough to pay your own childcare fees- so those would still have to be carried by the economy.

nothing will change the minds of bigots

Except ending up as the thing they despise

That is true but at least you are financially trying to support yourself.

Angels, Am I making you think? You don't sound very much like you are on the fence to me.

If you even 'sort of' believe that the economy is 'carrying' people who are in need of benefits then

I need benefits right now, but I didn't used to, and hopefully I will get beyond this stage of my life. Not to whinge, but life (my x) dealt me some shit cards.

Everybody I meet in real life is so extremely supportive and understanding. That's why it's quite shocking to discover that beneath the smiles there may lurk such begrudgery.

Believe me, I would love to have a joint bank account and a husband paying half the childcare and a nice healthy salary.

WHEN I first landed in this situation, I used to categorise myself differently from other single mothers, younger ones, the ones who started out single. Now I have respect for them as well as some pity and sadness. I know firsthand that it's not so easy to just walk into a new life, new job... The poverty trap is called a trap because it IS a trap. Sticky floors that's my issue now. ONce upon a time I worried about glass ceilings.

I have a LOT more compassion now for single mothers of any description, because not ONLY is it harder for us on every level, financially, practically, emotionally, logistically,,,, but it seems we are alos to be judged for our disadvantages.

Think things through before you say them. If after having a think, you still think the economy is carrying people like me, then wow, I'm speechless.

While I think the OP could have phrased things better, I can see where she comes from.

I am married, we are only just getting by, we both work very, very hard, I have to put my two year old into nursery, if I was a SAHM we would go under.

So - where is my 'right' to stay at home?

Where are my choices?

Liffey

Yes, you are making me think. I started off feeling that sometimes people may NEED to claim benefits, I'm now thinking that you are deluded if you think that its ok to be a SAH mum on benefits. I am shocked that you think most people thinks its ok to rely on the economy to support them.

Defintley off the fence.

My ability to be a good parent was the same when I was a SAHM and now that I am working. I am no better off. I am lucky that I have the type of job that allows flexi hours and a fantastic company to work for. How dare you call people who don't work 'scroungers'? The other week, some other tosspot was having a go at people who claimed 'tax credits because they were benefits' too. Ya damned if you do and ya damned if you don't and frankly, I don't give a damn!!!

I am married, we are only just getting by, we both work very, very hard, I have to put my two year old into nursery, if I was a SAHM we would go under.

So - where is my 'right' to stay at home?

Where are my choices?

AND SAHM MUMS FUNDED BY THE ECONOMY THINK THEY HAVE IT HARD?

NDTH - I hope you realise you were lucky to not only find a job that left your better off working than on IS, but also had help with childcare (ie family).

Some of us aren't that lucky. Right now if I were to go out and work at a minimum wage job I would be worse off - that isn't me "guessing" that I would be - that is the Lone Parent Advisor doing a Better Off Calculation for me

"Her home is a part rent/part buy but she hasn't actually contributed to the mortgage for ten years of the twelve years she has lived there, it is payed for by HB."

are you sure about?? the HB will pay for the rent I guess, then she will get help towards the interest only on the mortgage part - which means that "someone" is footing the bill for the rest of the mortgage payments.......

what liffy said.

my IS even if I was on it for the next 10 years still wouldn't be as much as i've paid in my parents have.

(fwiw I intend to be for as long as it's taking me to find a job)

Well if your parents, brother, sister, neighbour, the postman pay taxes thats ok then.

if you can get of benefits - you should. I am shocked that people actually think it is ok to choose to use the benefit system to be a SAHM. There are thousands of 2 parent families, both forced to work full time to survive - but single mothers, oh well thats different.

I assume this is in response to the other thread that said "I'm happy to live on benefits and don't want a job" which got very different responses