To think that being a single SAHM on benefits is not a 'lifestyle choice' but .........

[Littleredshoe]

basically scrounging ?

Surely being lucky enough to SAH with your children comes IF you can afford it? Either because you work part time, or have a partner who provides for you to do this.....

To just 'decide' that you 'prefer' not to work and live off benefits (when you are fit to work) is ridiculous and it makes me bl**dy angry that I pay tax to enable others to sit on their arses......

maybe I am ? But ......I bet there would be a lot less feckless teenage mothers if the 'right' to benefits and SAH was withdrawn.....

I'm divided on this one.

If a single mum is either able to earn the same amount or more by working then she should or do a course which will improve her career prospects.

If she is unable to find appropriate childcare that she is happy with then I think she should be able to live off benefits until this changes.

However, I do think that there are the people that can cope with most things and then the ones who would find working full time and being a single parent too hard.

Then again there are those who are quite happy to live off benefits - which is'nt good for anyone really - is it?

Who I am I to talk, I am a married SAHM so prehap i don not know what I am on about?

i personally think you are trolling. i am a single parent (through choice as didn't trust x and certainly didn't love him)and a sahm. do you know how much lp's get????????? not enough. some days, when x's maintenance hasn't cleared, i have to go without supper and have small meals so that dd can eat a decent meal. i now have the horrible task of trying to save for her xmas present with fresh air.

i am not materialistic, i can't afford to be.

as for work, it isn't viable for me as childcare costs are prohibitive in getting decent, meaty, job.

fwiw i hate being on benefits

I'd be £15 a week better off if i put my 1 yo in childcare and did 16 hours, provided of course it was in school hours and dd1 didn't have to go into afterschool club

you only get them if you have a child under 4yrs old, if they're under 1yr old you get £6 a week (I think)

pingping-that £3 is for if you have a child under 5

yes, or £6 for under 1. thought it was age 5, maybe 4 then

I remember when i split with ds1 father and i went onto benefits for a while, i started a college course and i remember only having one pair of trousers to my name, i accidently burned the back of them with the iron so there was a big scold mark, i used to have to tie my coat around my waste to cover it, sometimes i would take the coat off when i sat down, and i would forget and as i stood up the girls sitting behind used to whisper

I couldnt afford new trousers

Anyone who thinks that being on benefits is an easy life, is deluded

I am happy to say, I now have a good job and can afford new trousers

No living on benifits as a single SAHM is not a lifestyle choice. They have no choice as the cost of childcare in this country is very high (not a dig at childminders/nurseries) and there is not enough help for those that need it.

As most single women are not high earners and earn either average or below average wages they cannot afford to pay childcare and all other costs involved in running home.

Thanks FAQ.

sorry, been out to collect my kids from school. I WAS a single mother, and I worked to provide my ds with the things he needed.

I have every bit as much of a problem with supporting feckless young men who 'wont' get a job, and claim 'unemployment benefits.

his post is a response of a sort to yesterdays thread form the lady who basically said she never intended to work and why couldn't everyone else just accept that. I found myself thinking abut the posts about 'my right' to stay at home..... and wondered if indeed we/should have such 'rights' or whether the option NOT to work is in fact a luxuary.

sorry that I have offended so many of you !

well I'm glad that you found a job that would leave you no worse off than being on benefits, and the childcare to go with it.

Not everyone is that lucky especially when 3/4 of the work that is available locally to them is shift or night work, another large proportion require specific skills and another large number under 16hrs a week.

Ok, so have a pop at the people who really do never intend to work.

Not at every mum who chooses to stay at home with children despite not being fortunate enough to have a man to earn for them.

You know nothing of most people's circumstances.

oh yes paying for all my bills, feeding and clothing my 3 DS's on my income is such a life of luxury ,

Admittedly I am (on paper) currently better off as I have no housing costs (as no longer contributing to the mortgage as exH can't afford the repayments even with my contribution) - however that money has to be saved so that I can find somewhere to live sometime after Christmas when I will official be homeless.

I did a huge angry rant but u know what alls i'm gonna say, is:-

WALK A MILE IN OUR SHOES before you judge and then go back to your cosy little life.

god I hope you're never in a situation where your partner goes off with someone else, or isn't about, or is seriously ill or something like that.

and no £3 per week isn't enough for fresh fruit n veg (oh and milk) esp when we use 10 pints of milk a week + and 6 pints is £2.25!!!!

Oddly enough that's why I posting. To ask the question !

despite being called a cunt, and twat and told to fuck off, I am still genuinely interested in the answers. There is no call to get defensive, If you believe that its fine to sah an life off teh state because of your circumstances then that is your opinion and no more r les valid than mine !

littlered - why not start a thread saying is it a right or a luxury for an adult to work/not work then?

x posts sorry I saw you have walked the mile.

agree with the ant - to specify one group of people is highly unfair to the majority.

Is not my 'opinion', its my right.

The thread for yesterday was a troll wasnt it?

Your OP was rude and ignorant and this comment 'I bet there would be a lot less feckless teenage mothers if the 'right' to benefits and SAH was withdrawn..... ' makes you sound stupid as well

well yes I do believe it's my "right" (as you feel it should be called) to live off the state to live off my children at the moment - I could not survive on less money than I currently get and right now (even with the childcare element of the tax credits helping out) I couldn't get earn enough money to even bring in what I currently get on benefits

personally I think it should be a right for eitehr parent of a preschool child to stay at home with them if they choose. Even if they got themselves into that position in a way you (or I) might not approve of... because it is might be better for the child.

I don't beleive any adult has the right to choose not to work, and in fact I think you have to prove that you are actively job-seeking in order to get unemployment pay.

I have no views on how easy it is to manipulate the system becasue I've never tried.

oh and you walked into the name calling my your very thoughtless use of language so no sympathy there I'm afraid.

well, to that end I study, (open university and intend to become a teacher after full time uni when DS is in school). I'm currently looking for work - why anyone chooses this life style is beyond me I don't/haven't. the work unfortunately isn't about - ether's 50 people going after 1 job. i've had interviews, but unfortunately the impression i'm getting is irrespective of a v supportive family my willingness to be flexible with times etc they still see single parents are a problem - ie if the LO gets poorly.

I paid in for the last 10 years, my foilks have for the last 30+ years neither has claimed before,

do I still count as a scrounger then, even thou the HB doens't cover my full rent, and I've had to fight to get the £20 IS a week I have.

you should be agry with all of the defrauding that goes on, - that's what pisses me off.

tbh OP your OP didn;t read like a serious attempt to get a debate going on living on benfits as a lifestyle choice

It read like you resent someone getting money for something you don't get money for (ie sour grapes) and for some reason single teenage mothers are your target.

My target is people who get presciptions for free like pensioners when I don't. Feckless bloody pensioners - they should have earned enough in a lifetime to pay for their own bleedin drugs or they're just wasters... and I'm paying for it through my taxes.

Stop free prescriptions for pensioners I say there'd be a lot less of the feckless pensioners claiming to have arthritis if they had to pay. (In fact there probably be a lot less pensioners all round if they had to pay... two birds one stone...)