to think it is frankly weird when complete strangers ask you if your baby is a "good" baby???

[peachsmuggler]

Someone asked me this yesterday on a train. I obviously know what she was getting at, but really, what do they expect you to say to that!!!

i once told someone who asked that aqbout dd3, that dd3 was an evil baby.

YANBU, I think it is more the older generation.

I get a lot of this from people when I am out, if I am with my mum, she always answers 'oh yes, blah, blah, blah'

I always answer, 'weeeellll a baby cant really be naughty can they?'

I usually ask young siblings of newborns that question but only if I know them, not to complete strangers

that and 'is she an easy baby'

i get the urge to say, no, i gave birth to The Omen.

ha ha, great response misdee!

I said yes (incredulously) but then felt the need to say that she wasn't a good sleeper!?!

And they always look a bit taken aback when I say "No. He isn't"

I think its just something to say. They don't really think about what they are saying or expect a proper answer.

I often wonder why they ask if your baby is 'good'...who has a 'good' baby? Assuming they mean 'are they difficult to care for?' rather than implying that a baby can decide to be naughty, most babies are difficult in some way - it's all in how you cope with the challenges, surely?

There should be a ban on "Is he/she a good baby?". People should be forced to say "How are you coping?" - and then HAVE to listen if they are silly enough to ask!

this was someone who also had a (slightly older) baby!!!

Still at least she didn't ask if she was sleeping through the night!

It's just making conversation though isn't it? People are probably trying to be friendly.

On one hand i think it is just a daft conversation starter. Rather like "oh, you have your hands full!" to those of us with 3 under 5ish (really? Well now that you mention it, I HAVE. AND I've got these 3 kids to look after...ba boom)

On the other, the idea that any baby could NOT be good, or that there is anything wrong with wanting lots of attention, with not sleeping for long stretches (as breastfed babies in particular often don't, for example) etc, makes me uneasy.

I just say "yes, she is absolutely LOVELY". Unless I am feeling arsey, in which case I say "well...no bank robberies SO far, but we are keeping a good eye on her.".

I think it's meant as a gauge? as to how much sleep you are getting

And they always look a bit taken aback when I say "No. He isn't"

That's what I say as well.

Or 'and is he a good sleeper?' 'No, he's dreadful. I'm a wreck'

It's one of life's Questions That People Must Ask, like 'is it your first?' when you're pregnant. Just making noise.

Come to think of it, she also asked if "it" was a girl.

"it" was wearing a pink duffle coat

I said "He is a delight, but if you're asking if he sleeps, the answer is no." Have once or twice had it patiently explained to me what "is he good?" means.

Like the no bank robberies so far comment, Filly

Blimey it never bothered me at all when people asked predictable questions when my 2 were babies.

Has never bothered me when people ask that. It's just a conversation starter isn't it? People complain that no-one is friendly any more and it's no surprise really when every comment is analysed and (usually) criticised.

Seems people can't say anything right, but if they ignore you and pretend you aren't there, then that's wrong too.

That question really pisses my off too.

'No, they're really naughty - you complete dumb arse'

My ds is 8wo today, so I've heard that question a lot recently. I have never had to grit my teeth so much

I agree with Geepers-people are being friendly-you don't need to analyse!

People are always stopping to talk to DD and when they ask if she's good I tell the truth. She is a demon who won't sleep in her cot, throws her food around the place and wrecks the house.

And the number of times she is called he. I mean, ffs she has a big white and pink marshmallow coat!

ILTMIMI that reaction probably says more about you than the people who are asking you that. Maybe you should just chill out and appreciate people being interested in you and your little one.

"no, he's drinks, smokes, stays out all night..."
"she keeps stealing the car"

Agree with Geepers too.

You are hardly going to have a heart to heart with the checkout lady - it's just people being sociable.

also I think it's shorthand for "are YOU ok?" but without making that bit explicit.

Actually I would think it was a bit weird if a friend asked me, but it makes perfect sense from a stranger.

totally agree with Geepers. It is just something to say... blimey, you lot are an unfriendlt bunch. Its the same when you are pregnant, people make harmless comments, just smile and be gracious. Once your baby is 4/5 years, no one says anything at all and you'll miss the days when people made small talk.

Yes, but it's a stupid question.

Oh, and I haven't actuallycalled anyone a dumb arse yet - just in my head.