to think it is frankly weird when complete strangers ask you if your baby is a "good" baby???

[peachsmuggler]

Someone asked me this yesterday on a train. I obviously know what she was getting at, but really, what do they expect you to say to that!!!

Good heavens? And what do you say when someone asks you 'how are you today'? Do you go into a monologue of how tired you are because you've barely slept, yadda, yadda, yadda?

Just be happy that they're being polite and not ignoring you.

i seem to recall preferring it if they ignored me

i dont talk to people its clear that they all think your weird when your trying to be nice, so fuck it

You could reply "well she's not bad most of the time but you should see her table manners. And he never says please or thank you."

It is just a conversation starter, so when I got asked if DS was "good" I really tried not to be pissed off and said "well I think he's lovely". But it does piss me off because there's this whole culture of equating "good" with "convenient". I mean FGS if I'd wanted a cushion, or a hamster, I'd have gone out and bought one. But I had a baby instead, so I don't expect to get a full night's sleep for many months or years to come. It's so MEAN! It's the same attitude expressed by certain "experts" (mentioning no names Gina) who say "contented" but mean "submissive". I'm delighted that my "bad" ds knows how to tell me what he needs!

I think it's weird that the OP thinks it's weird. They're just making conversation FFS!

FGs, just smile and say he/she's great thanks. People are just being nice. Would you rather they ignored your new baby?

It's called 'talking to people'. You know that thing that human beings do when they want to be friendly. Like dogs sniffing bottoms. Meaningless but friendly.

Take it in the spirit it's intended.

I know it's just a conversation starter, but it's pretty depressing to have to either lie or say your baby is "not good." It's a loaded question. It's kind of like instead of asking someone "How are you?" saying "And are you a miserable sod today?"

I don't really mind if random strangers don't ask me about my baby's moral character. Or indeed if they ignore me.

But you don't have to go into detail, you can just reply 'Yes, he's lovely' or something equally vague.

I always think this this is one of the questions that bother the asker more than the parent. They also measure by their own references which are bound to be different to yours.
When people asked me if ds was good I'd always smile sweetly and nod and say in an airy vacant voice "oh yeeeees". Same response to "is he feeding well", "is he a good sleeper" and "is he talking yet". It was important to them that the answer is yes, so that's what they got.
It's like "how are you?" you don't want to be told "well actually my athlete's foot is playing up and I've got warts on my arse".

Hmm, looking at my OP it does seem to suggest that I had a problem with a stranger talking to me. That's not the case at all. Was, and is lovely to speak to strangers with kids, inane conversation included. Maybe the question is more about the word good being used in the context of a baby.

Good post rodformyownback!

YABU if you are in this part of Scotland where it is an everyday comment made around babies!

does anyone actually start up conversations with strangers about the weather tho, or is it an urban myth?

YABU...people are just being friendly - what else are they going to ask..."do his poos smell nice?" They are just trying to show an interest, and let's face it, some parents like to let off steam if they have a baby that does not sleep well or cries a lot!

How about as an alternative conversation starter "Oh what a well behaved little boy/girl you have there - i'll bet he/she's just a little arse at home though eh?"

Or if the lo DC in question isn't being quite that well behaved, you could begin with, "Oh what a spirited child, you simply must encourage him into a career in demolition!"

When people say this I just yes - and they seem sort of put out that you don't settle down for a good moan.

Somewhere else on MN today someone was commenting on how unfriendly the UK was to children.

Not surprised.

Oh my g I could have written the OP, I am always moaning about this. Again love chatting to people but hate use of the word good in relation to a baby. I am dying to reply "No he got an ASBO last week and is due up in Juvenile Court" but too polite as I know the person asking is just trying to be friendly, but please please another word other than good.

they expect you to answer, 'oh she's not bad. She sleeps for three hours at a time, doens't cry too much and gives us lots of smiles

s'not difficult. Called chit chat

what's the point of quibbling about one word in a very general opening remark to strangers when trying to be nice and interested in the baby.