To refuse to leave my child unattended in a car?

[Gangle]

I was recently heavily criticised on a thread for saying that I would not leave DS, now 7 months, unattended in a car, e.g. in a petrol station or car park. Genuinely perplexed that people seem to think it's ok to leave kids alone - noone I know would do it and I don't think any of us are neurotic or precious about our babies.

Whilst pregnant with dd I was run over by a white van reversing on a petrol station forecourt. Luckily I wasn't hurt but I have never taken my kids out of the car at petrol stations. Much safer to leave them inside.

The car is just as unlikely to spontaneously combust with us all in it as it is with just them in it.

Why do you care what a bunch of strangers on the internet think?

No one is forcing you to leave your child in a car, if you don't want to, don't. It's absolutely up to you, your child, your call.

I have just posted on another thread about my DD who is 5 and has become very clingy and hates me leaving her at school or at a friends etc. Anyway I said that I had left her and my son in the car locked to pay for petrol in Sainsburys garage. I could see them from inside the garage and the car was very close.I did not want to drag them all grumpy across what is a very busy forecourt. Anyway a poster was amazed that I had left them in a car locked or unlocked as the car could combust and catch fire!
There are two ways to look at the situation and all the posters here have valid points.
I do not like leaving them in the car but would only do so If I can park right by the pay area and I can see them. I agree dragging them across a busy forecourt could also be dangerous. There is no right and wrong answer. I have to admit since that I would never leave my children alone anywhere but as a parent you have to make decisions which you feel are right. I would not take my children out in the garden if I were hanging out the washing for example (they are 5 and 7) but I would not leave them in the house to post a letter in a postbox that is a three minute walk because that could put them in a dangerous situation.

Not all petrol stations have pay at the pump, my local one does not.

i think you do whats best for you at the end of the day as it is your child but i have a twelve week old and a two year old and i never take them out of the car to pay for petrol. my two year old is at the stage of refusing to hold my hand and my baby is so heavy in his car seat and the thought of lugging them through a petrol station with my 2yr old fighting with me is a nightmare. i would potentially be putting her in more danger of running in front of a car. but its each to there own i guess and whatever works for you.

Dont let it eat you up gangle. I've seen a few threads on here where the op has been mocked when expressing such safety concerns particularly with the car thing. You continue doing what you feel is best and dont let the more sarcastic and harsh responses get to you.

I think this thread should be called 'what would you do if you had only one asleep 7MO and needed to get petrol?'

In that case, everyone would say yes def take the LO with you in an easy-in/out car seat to pay.

Otherwise if you have more than 1 PFB or SN or whatever, then do whatever you can to make things easier all round.

There you are Gangle. Welldone for being a totally fantastic mother and come back when your LO is walking/toddling and picking up all the bright sweeties in the petrol station shop and screams BLUE BLOODY MURCDER when you try to put the little starfish back in his seat.

i dont see the harm in leaving children in car while getting/paying for petrol AS long as you can see them

leaving in a car park is a no go,as you cant see them

if you do leave children in car at garage, then LOCK your car, a few months ago there a car was stolen from my local petrol station and child was in it

Have only read OP and a few posts, but can you find a petrol station where you can pay at the pump?

My tescos has this and it is just an average tescos, not a big one or anything.

God I wouldn't leave them in the car. Someone could steal the car/ crash into it/ open the car and grab one of them and you would be there just watching it happen from a distance.

Hell no they come with me.

I genuinely dont understand why people dont leave them when it is statistically safer for them to be in the car not to mention the hassle.

If the car is locked how is someone going to grab one of them? Crazy.

Is is no hassle for me at all tbh. It is possible to do it just takes more time.

yanbu.i wouldnt either.but each to their own and all that.

Ok, to address a few points. Firstly, MrsGhost, I am not ignoring your question. Contrary to what others have said, I do have a life and don't usually find time to get on MN every day. Thanks for tracking me down on another completely separate post to remind me I hadn't answered. In response, and apologies that I don't have the question in front of me so can't recall the options word for word, I thought that, in my situation, I would probably go for C, that is, go later when kids in bed BUT, I am totally happy to say that I may view the situation differently if I had more than one child. My decision now, when I have one young child, is to take him with me. That could change if I have more than one and crossing the forecourt becomes more difficult. My point was more that why are people so ready to attack other peoples' choices? Apologies if the opening question sounds a little judgmental - it was intended to, more to prove a point that people get very upset and defensive if anyone suggests that are doing something wrong. If you read the intial thread, I didn't for one minute criticise anyone for leaving their kids in the car but I received an absolute blasting for saying I took mine with me. So ok for people to judge me but not for me to judge them? Also, I had actually forgotten about this until a few days ago where, on a completely separate thread, Suburbandryad claimed to still be laughing about "the woman who wouldn't leave her kids unattended in the car". Just didn't realise it was that crazy or propesterous, or maybe I'm not the one who doesn't have a life . . .

I know where you're coming from Gangle,I think its very unfair when people are ridiculed for expressing safety concerns. You are not alone.

Gangle - i am genuinely sorry if I upset you. I promise that wasn't my intention.

Your posts have stayed with me because I remember being so PFB that I couldn't let ds out of my sight for a second (if he was in the bath and i needed to get a towel, I'd back away, keeping my eyes locked on him and fumble around behind me for his towel!) and when he was around 9-10 months i developed hideous PND which I am sure was in part down to my inability to leave him for a second.

As others have said, we all do what's best for our kids, and I wouldn't leave ds alone in the car for any length of time (unless he was fast asleep - I have nipped into petrol station toilets, for example, but not done my full weekly shop!). I have to say that my reasons for not leaving him alone are more to do with him feeling abandoned and lonely than safety issues though!

No-one is judging you for being a bad parent (unlike on your other thread, where you threw around some pretty nasty things to those of us who left our kids alone while we paid for petrol/got a shopping trolley) but people can get a little uptight when it seem that they're being criticised for their parenting choices.

And I stand by my original statement that it is pretty funny. Sorry.

Going back to the ROSPA stats that were linked to earlier, anyone who is tempted to wrap their dcs in cotton wool may be interested to see that there are an estimated 779 accidents each year involving cotton wool...

Suburbandryad, give me one example from my original post on the P&C thread of me being critical of people leaving their kids unattended? Still don't get what is funny about taking your baby with you??? Also, if anyone can tell me where there is a pay at pump station in London N8, N19 or N6 that would be great.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't take let go of DS for a second whilst in the bath? Is this going to start another furore??