To refuse to leave my child unattended in a car?

[Gangle]

I was recently heavily criticised on a thread for saying that I would not leave DS, now 7 months, unattended in a car, e.g. in a petrol station or car park. Genuinely perplexed that people seem to think it's ok to leave kids alone - noone I know would do it and I don't think any of us are neurotic or precious about our babies.

Errant comma there. Soz.

"Yes, actually, would be nice to not be criticised for making what I deem to be the best decision for DS, at 7 months".

So why start another thread on exactly the same subject, with the likelihood of being criticised again?

Although I'm not sure you're being criticised particularly - other people just seem to be saying that they make different decisions to you, and that those decisions are just as valid as yours.

You know you are making the best decision for your child; you don't need others to validate your choices for you.

I don't lock my door in the forecourt. Maybe I need arresting.

Well if you know you are making the best decision for your ds, why do you need clarification? just get on with it.

Link to ROSPA report here.

I had a friend who worked there and he was always regaling us with tales of people who died changing lightbulbs, bending over to tie shoelaces etc.

My point is, at home alone, if anything happened to me at 9.05am, ther eis a chance that my DCs could be alone until their Dad returns at 5pm - far riskier than the scenario you mention as young children alone in a car would be noticed and the authorities notified in a very short space of time.

But if you prefer taking them with you, do it! Don't get upset by us bunch of vipers

No, you're not unreasonable. But priorities change. When your 7mth old can't be safely tucked under one arm whilst you get your purse out, and instead pulls away from you on his wobbly legs and sits down in a puddle of petrol, or makes a run for it on decidedly unwobbly legs, you may decide that leaving him in his car seat is the way to go. And that isn't unreasonable either.

Btw, I have seen the stats that more children get injured out of the car at petrol stations, than those in the car, but I can't remember where and it's too late to search.

Because, Humphrey, I was interested to see if that's what most MNers really thought or if it was just the voice of a few on a thread that really dealt with a different issue. I don't need others to validate my choice and happy for others to say they do things differently. The point is that I didn't critise or mock anyone for those choices whereas I received an absolute mauling for stating my position.

Gangle, what would you do?
I would answer if I was you. I am good at pestering, ask the Disability Allowance People/ds Physio/school etc

What would I do when??

ok, even as a tiny baby, i never took ds out of the car, and into the petrol station shop with me, why disturb him while he is sleeping? i always make sure i can see him from where i am. thats my choice, you do things your way, i do things my way. so there you go, thats what i think.

Poke head round door, whilst wearing hard hat...
Cautiously ask...
Why don't you all go to Tesco's and select 'Pay at Pump'?...problem solved
Run from room banging door behind me!

I have never ever come across a pay at pump near me. Leaving this thread now. Will leave DS abandoned in car from now on with my finger crossed. Before I go though, just want to add that last week I left DS in the car for about 1 minute whilst I got a ticket from the machine. It was a quiet street and I was only a few metres from the car but as I stepped away a woman came out of a restaurant and started peering in the window at DS. When I walked back a few seconds later she delighted in telling me how she had done the same when her DS was a baby and how a policeman had caught her and give her a good telling off. Clearly I am not being that neurotic.

Gangle 12.17 the longest post on the board, the one which took me ages to type out. WHAT WOULD YOU DO.

Gangle, you do whatever makes you feel comfortable, and makes you feel your baby is safe, dont listen to me or anyone esle with different views. You should have told her to feck off, nosey bat.

Gangle...I'm not having a go at you...I'm a proudly neurotic mum...
DS was born in March 06...I think that was the last hot summer UK had...I never left him in the car...took him, and car seat with me...
When he got bigger, started walking, I went back to work and used more petrol... I always tried to go to Pay at Pump, even if it meant going out of my way...I didn't like leaving him in the car, but nor did I like tackling forecourt with opinionated toddler.
At that point if I couldn't pay at pump, I'd leave him, but, find the best spot I could and keep my eyes on the car! Locking door but leaving windows an inch open.
You can only do what you think is best for your kids...and if you're happy, and they're happy, sod what other's think...
Oh I solved the problem once and for all by moving to Saudi...women don't drive here and even if they did you don't get out of the car at the petrol station...theres a man who does it all for you...bit extreme though...I'd stick to pay at pump!

It is simply not true that you did not criticise those who leave their children in the car seat while they pay. How else is it possible to interpret the fact that you say you are 'genuinely perplexed' by such behaviour? (The self-righteousness!!!)

I would like not be criticised for my choices, but you did it, so there you have it.

'genuinely perplexed' - such a pompous and superior phrase!

Well, you can stay genuinely perplexed by my behaviour - I'm not going to justify it anymore than others have (at unnecessary length) to you on this and other threads.

Why are people so afraid of saying what they think for fear of being offensive? There has to be some freedom to have a bloody opinion on MN without some sap coming along and crying about it.

I think it's bloody weird to leave a baby unattended in a car. And that's that.

And that's your opinion MrsMattie - and you are perfectly entitle to have it and do as you see fit with your child
Gangle - why can you not do the same? No one is telling you that you should leave your child in the car! You do as you see fit!

I'm lucky in that there is a pay at pump petrol station near my home.
But I do leave ds unattended in the house (in his car seat) while I get my car in and out of the garage. To me this is an acceptable risk.
And I do leave ds in the car while I get a suitable trolley at the aupermarket, as long as there is one within view of the car. Again I weigh up the risk.
But it doesn't mean that I'm going to turn around to MrsMattie and tell her she is precious and paranoid? She's not - she's just doing what she feels it right for her and her child.
Even though she probably thinks I'm 'bloody weird'

When I had my eldest I was terrified of leaving him in the car to pay for petrol.

Luckily, in the village where I lived, we had an Old Fashioned petrol station where a man would come out, fill up the tank for you!, then take your money. Before DS1 I had found this quite embarrassing but after his birth I virtually never got petrol anywhere else.

When we moved 40 mins drive away the thought did cross my mind to go back there for my petrol each time .

When DD was born, DS1 was 18 months and not yet walking. And I had had a c-section. There was NO way I could carry both of them into the petrol station. Pay at Pump stations had just come out but were in their infancy and the only time I tried one it didn't work (NB, OP, Tescos have them), I just had to leave them and sweat it out, peering out through the glass as I waited to pay. Needless to say they were always fine.

So gradually I got over it. Now I have DS2 (14 m) I am going through it all again.

OP, as others have said, you have one baby of seven months old. At the moment you are enjoying the luxury of being able to indulge your perfectly normal maternal anxiety. When you have another child you will probably find that, like the rest of us, you will no longer be able to. And, as someone else said, you will look back on this thread with a little cringe.

There seem to be quite a lot of people out there living in a state of constant anxiety and fear. It must be pretty stressful. Do the 'carry them everywhere' ladies know what their DPs do with the babies when they take them out? I'm know that mine wouldn't even think of carting the baby out of the car when he's just popping into a shop for a minute - I expect most men are the same.

OMG you dont want to be criticised but are happy to start a thread criticising everyone who doesnt follow your high moral standards!
Try having 2 kids a boisterous stroppy 7yr old and a lively wiggly 10 month old jeez no way I am gonna get them both out to pay for farking petrol when I can see the car!
In fact I left them both in the car and popped into Asda for some milk the other day - umm shoot me or report me to the police I really dont give a SHITE what you think or do - do whatever the hell you like I dont care - BUT dont start a passive aggressive thread subtly criticising me then get a strop on and leave when we dont all agree with you!!!
And my kids are significantly easier than some here with disabled kids go away then ok

Well exactly tartetatin.

I's be a gibbering wreck if I was so worried about everything.