in getting so fed up of being skint and having to read about people who claim to be skint bbut are buying games consoles for their DC when mine will have to have whatever I can scrape from the charity shop or freecycle?

[conniedescending]

I know this is a bit 'living in a council house with flat screen tv' and I'v always been hugely against benefit bashing threads but I'm wondering if the worm has turned?

we are struggling to pay the essentials, my DH is working all the hours he possibly can in a job thats not going well at all (due to loss of customers due to aforementioned credit crunch) meanwhile I'm working from whenever he gets home till 1/2 am, 6 days a week trying to make up the shortfall.

Have had a disastrous week as washing machine packed up and my mum is on holiday so I can't use hers. I have a baby in cloth nappies so have had to buy disposables. Have spent all morning or the last few days handwashing clothes and deserately trying to get them dry which is impossible in this weather. Cant get to launderetter because car needs mot and we have no money to do that.

Then I saw some small toy items on freecylce that I asked for and hoped I'd get because the lady who was offering them has had several items from me (curtains, breadmaker and some hardly worn shoes). Anyway - she's not gifting me them (was hoping they may be okfor xmas pressies).

so I come on MN and read threads about people on benefits who are skint and have 'only' bought nintendos ds'or a wii...........

honestly have no clue how we are going to get through this - we have eaten into both our overdrafts, looking to increase income in everyway possible, have cut back everything to the bone. There is no safety net there now at all and I am starting to really worry.

We have a wedding we're supposed to go to next mth as well - god knows how we are going to make that, plus birthdays galore.

cant see the wood for the trees at the minute

I am spending £40-50 a week on food for 6 of us, god knows how I am doing it, but I am eating a lot of toast lol!!

LOL SGK.. I'm spending 25-35 per week for the 5 of us!! toast is a gooood thing!

I'm trying to wait untill I get to work to eat as it's free and I send the dd's out to my mums and my nans for dinner as much as possible

I'm spending about £40 a week for 4 of us, but that includes all my cleaning stuff, nappies etc as well.

I know I could cut it down a lot

Hence the reason I'm about to walk through to my kitchen, write a list of what I currently have in the freezer and cupboard and start a thread for ideas of what to do with what I already have, and what bits I need to purchase to go with them

my shopping used to be £80-90 a week. I am shopping at Aldi and asda. Using what is in my freezer, meal planning etc

FAQ hat's not bad seeing as your getting nappies too.. mine includes cleaning stuff

and I am now going to bed LOL

We earn over 60k between us (DH works in excess of 60 hrs a week and me 37 hours) and know a 'non-working' family with more DISPOSABLE income than us so totally know where you are coming from. After c/tax, childcare, travel costs and extortionate private rent (not because we live in a posh house but because we had to take what was available)we have nada left over and I have often said to DH, lets go on bens (seeing as we don't have a mortgage anymore) so we have time to help with the kids homework and cook decent meals in the eves - more important to me than the literal few pounds we're better off working.

People who don't work because they say they want to bring up their kids themselves make me as we have to fit that in too! We actually can't afford to save through the year for Xmas - something always comes up, like car needs fixing (needed to get to work) or washing machine breaks down like the OP. But if we all went on the bens who would pay for it - but in the end who cares? (flounces off to resign)

"People who don't work because they say they want to bring up their kids themselves make me angry"

I take it that comment was aimed at me after my post where I said that in one respect it's good as I get to stay at home with DS3 while he's little??

and tbh - if this couple you know has more disposable income that you then I suspect they are probably getting cash in hand from elsewhere.

If the couple on benefits have more disposable income than you then i would suggest youlook into your outgoings.

theymay hav more money for waht you see as luxuries but they probably dont spend money on things that you class as essentials.

but actually, why on earth am i trying to exp,ain it to you? clearly i am just fibbing in order to keep up the illusion.

conniedescending on Mon 20-Oct-08 22:26:30

"i understand life on benefits is hard....but, at least u dont have to work for the money."

Connie, you do realise that several well-known MNers are on benefits because they are full-time carers of severely disabled children? Do you suppose they sit around twiddling their fingers? Are you sure you want to swap your situation with theirs?

If not, then do try to think before you type.

[ahem] am one of the families on benifits, thanks to have two children with disabilities.... I have given up arguing on these threads nowadays

Skint as a term used in the UK is relative and not absolute.

I was having lunch with a multimillionaire today (as you do, work-related, nothing personal) who was complaining bitterly about being too skint to afford the new Aston Martin.

I did want to ask him for a sub but decided in the interests of preserving my job, I had better keep schtum.

Still HIGHLY irritated though.

You need Expat on here. She is very lyrical about most things but particularly the subject of working poor.

What doesn't kill you makes you tougher.

I have to say, a poster here said it best (it was either Swedes or SqueakyPop): in a situation like this, there are really one two choices.

a) you find a way to cut back, but it 9p supernoodles or last year's Aston Martin b) you find a way to generate more income.

Well, that's really it in a nutshell.

Easy? Maybe, maybe not. But that's life for you.

Flog it on EBay, boot sales, Gumtree, even here. Sell the Avon, get seasonal work (post office is hiring! DH has been fitting in shifts for them on top of his other shifts for a couple of years), spend Tesco points on food, etc.

I never said it didn't suck, but we all have our crosses to bear.

I can't work it up to be angry at folks on benefits, tbh. In all honesty, it's a bit pointless to be angry at anyone. It doesn't change anything. And honey always caught more flies than vinegar.

Oh, you were here already

There are plenty of these threads about, Quattro. This time of year.

I guess Xmas brings it out in folks.

Shame, though, because it goes to show you how much people feel entitled to spend a bunch of money at that time of year.

Why?

Someone else's expectations?

Don't live your life for that, it's just another form of slavery.

oh dear....well....I can understand OP's frustration....but of course the situation is not so black and white, anyway, of course there is a majority of people on benefit through no fault of their own....!
However, if you have been in a low income situation for a long time, you may have been able to adjust a bit better, then if you have a major drop in income....this is only based on personal experience though!

anyways...maybe this is the year where we all should go back to basics? Maybe we all should rediscover x-mas for what it is? Maybe that is the way forward? Presents are a commercial thing....x-mas really should be about the spirit, it should be about spending time with loved ones and possibly splash out on nice food....and nice food doesn't have to be bought at extortionate prices....

anyway, it is late

Xmas? XMAS? Why that's months away.

You are not seriously telling me that people are planning for Xmas already?

No FAQ - am not aiming at anyone personally, just wanted to share and I work with someone who has a severely disabled child so that's not easy. My DS also has behavioural problems (nothing to do with me working I might add) which results in me being called to school from work occasionally, so not easy either.

I guess what I am trying to get across is that families on benefits whingeing (gonna get flamed but I don't care) that they have to live in a shoe and eat dust so that they can save money to buy their kids a Nintendo DS are not that much worse off than people like us that work on the average wage. If it's soul destroying claiming benefits, it's even more so working your bollocks off (and then sorting out your kids)and not being able afford to buy the stuff that your DDs friend has in her bedroom (TV, laptop, PS3)who lives in a council house (paying peanuts for rent) and who's mum works part time.

I never wanted to live in a council house but now I would JUMP at the chance. Guess there's not much to strive for these days!!

HRH - I do not need to look at my outgoings thank you - I look at them all the time but the numbers never change - rent and childcare take up over half of it.

phew - as if it had been aimed at me I was going to tell you to read the rest of my posts on this thread lol.

i'm thinking and planning for it already, because it's going to be about some food.

cakes have been made and fed, mincemeat about to have a little bandy added, recipes being tested out for goodies to make to give away and put in stockings, etc.

DH offered to get me a new mobile, but i'd rather have that flaky, moist smoked salmon from Loch Fyne, on a slice of fresh baked bread with lashings of horseradish.

Mmmmmm.

I'm going Christmas (and birthday and clothes for Christening) shopping next Saturday .

But it does mean that the money I'll be saving not contributing towards the mortgage will be able to be saved towards moving into rented housing, rather than ending up picking into it for all of the above - I can have a set figure that will be saved.

Mumsnet is giving me far too many reality checks tonight.

Christmas shopping indeed. I ask you. What's Christmas Eve for, if not for Christmas shopping, eh?

oh bugger you've just made me realise something else I need to stress about - I need to find an organist to play for me on Christmas eve - I'll never find one of my regular babysitters to be there while I do midnight mass - FAAAAARRRRRRRRK