To hate the passive-agressive "are you ok?" tack people take on AIBU threads?

[thisismynewname]

You know...someone is arguing a point, and someone else will come along and say something like "you seem quite upset about this, have you sought any help? I only say this because I care."

Bollocks is it said because they care, it's a transparent attempt to undermine the poster and really very rude.

You seem quite upset about this, have you sought any help?

I only say this because I care.

NQC

Are you OK?

lol the internet is made for saying one thiubg and meaning another

You know if something on the internet is worrying you this much you may need to take a break.

That's it carmenere, right there! That kind of thing.

PMSL starting a mindless thread on a Sunday morning equates to being bothered "this much."

Why did you start it then?

To pass the time sheiky, to pass the time. I have nothing better to do.

You can come and clean my house if you like.

It's when the person saying 'you seem quite upset about this' is also the one who has added judgey, wind-up messages to make the poster get 'upset about this' in the first place!!

Perhaps you need to talk to someone in real life about this

exactly tigermoth!! hilarious if you ask me

Oh so true tigermoth.

The other tactic is when two people are arguing then one poster just starts ignoring the person they've been arguing with but continues posting on the thread.

That whole "you are totally beneath me stance."

Actually, I quite like that one, have been known to do it myself.

can i just add, my fave expression of all time on mumsnet, is 'sweeping generalisations"

jesus christ, every thread i seem to read these days has some poster adding these words.

drives me mental!!!!

hmmmm im getting wound up..... perhaps i need to turn the computer off, and go talk to my friends about this
xx

matildax, you seem more riled about this than would be usual. Is there anyone in RL you can speak to about this?

I think the ignoring thing is not as bad, as it can be used to diffuse an argument while still discussing the general issue. But also as you say, can be another subtle wind up.

I cringe when I see 'the-lets-wind-you-up-and-watch-you-go-now-I'll-ask-you-what's-the-matter' tactic being used. Often the person using it seems to think they are being so clever when it just looks so bitchy. I always feel sorry for the victim. (Sorry you have got me going now, someone needs to tell me they care!)

Actually, I once saw it done very viciously on here.

It was to a poster who had obviously previously admitted to a drink problem - "are you quite well?"

Tigermoth, you're right, they think they're being clever but we've got their number alright!

lol..kerrymum..ive tried that, just get screwed at by all the mates and reported to mnhq.... but i can't do passive..

no sadly thisismynewname. i have noone, and now my 'pixel' friends have disowned me!!!
me thinks i need a virtual hug....

tigermoth i care, i really do, but i really do think you are in need of more than what we can offer here.... perhaps a couple of weeks rocking in the corner of your room, would be beneficial to you.
i really hope you are feeling better soon.
xx

My favourite is when a poster says "We're never going to agree on this, how about we be adults and just try to avoid eachother from now on" - it's a bit to much like "I'm not speaking to you anymore"!

no, the best one is.."ive had enough of all this..i'm leaving this thread"...then comes back 50 times.