To hate the passive-agressive "are you ok?" tack people take on AIBU threads?

[thisismynewname]

You know...someone is arguing a point, and someone else will come along and say something like "you seem quite upset about this, have you sought any help? I only say this because I care."

Bollocks is it said because they care, it's a transparent attempt to undermine the poster and really very rude.

Oh yes, beanie, I was one told I would be "avoided like the plague" from now on because I happened to say I didn't want my house to lose value.

Yes but yes but yes but

Sometimes you see a poster getting really really upset about something totally trivial, and you wonder if they're getting that upset because something else has gone wrong and they're feeling vulnerable.

At least I wonder that, and I can't be the only one. Not nasty or passive aggressive, just a sense that sometimes there's more than meets the eye in a post or thread.

thank you so much, matildax. At least someone cares

Or when a group arguing for one particular side of the debate, start the silly thread hijack thing. 'Oh how silly this argument is, let's talk about something else entirely whilst we are all here together!'

The more abstract the new topic the better - one wouldn't want to discuss anything that the other posters might want to talk about!

I recently spent quite a bit of time trying to convince a poster that she really did need rl advice/therapy and to avoid mn and other sites as imo and most others she was quite fucked up in the head. She is/was a particularly nasty and persistent troll and definitely was using mn in a destructive way.
She probably ignored me but I thought it was worht the effort as she seemed to me to be really quite sad and disturbed.

What a disingenuous thread!

I think my favourite tactic on AIBU threads is when 16 074 356 people post saying YABU and about 3 agree with the OP.

The OP then extravagantly thanks the 3 agree-ers for being kind and sensible and understanding and storms off in a huge strop about being bullied by the 16 million YABUs.

Ooh thisismynewname- I saw that thread you mean. It was a nasty ganging up situation and then a sneery are you well

ah..don't worry kerrymum, i'm not real...just someone in your computer.

i survive.

who you calling a goof?

The other thing that happens on AIBU threads is that the OP gets turned on for some background detail and the whole scenario becomes all their own fault (sometimes rightly, but often not).

I think it's going to happen on the dd screaming in a pushchair thread that's on at the mo.

I just got told off for being direct. I was passive aggressive for days before I finally gaveup and went ' at the OP.

now she(he?) has buggered off and they are all saying 'you mean beeatch, you have chased her away, we will never get to hear the end of this fallacy wonderful romance.'

One cannot win it would seem.

Btw are you Ok?

Maybe you need to take a break FA

i'd run over to that thread chequers..but i'm outta here, ive already had kerrymum up against a wall...and it's not even mid-day.

RL is calling.

Sorry it was punk

who is dafty?

You definately need to take a break FA

Ok I have the grauniad sudoku to finish