To think that having a drug free natural child birth does not mean you are a better/ stronger person or have more guts

[Reallytired]

Every childbirth experience is different. I am glad that there are options of intervention like caeseran section, drugs for pain relief. It would be horrendous to live somewhere like Chad where maternal death in childbirth is extremely common.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/4459880.stm

People forget that modern intervention means living mothers and babies.

I hate it when women who have had an easy birth experience belittle those who had complications. There are no prizes for putting up with pain.

I think its sad when women are bullied against a medicalised birth by NCT types. Sometimes its the best decision.

nah - its the pain, i think, most people expeience the pain first - then ask ofor pain relief - rather than say - i think i am in labour - not right sure - whip me an epidural will you afore i feel owt.

also pain thresholds differ. - i have no shame in admitting that i can't stand any sort of pain.

Message withdrawn

mabanana -

Really was odd. She sent out very detailed birth story/announcements and completely omitted to mention that she had been rushed to hospital to save the baby's life.

Insanity.

I had a good birth experience and I don't think I was a wimp for having a epidural. My son was born with his hand coming out first and the presentation was very poor. I decided to have a epidural after 28 hours of labour and the whole labour was 33 hours.

Its much easier to be brave if your baby has a good presentation and a quick labour. It is luck rather than being braver.

Thanks to the skill of the midwife I avoided the need for any thing like ventouse or forceps. Still it was good knowing these things were to hand if necessary.

With number two I have been given the choice between a midwifery led unit and a homebirth. The lovely consultant led unit I had my son at has been closed to save money.

Pruners - I totally agre, my first m/c was the most physicaly painful thing I have ever experienced, far worse than labour.

Oh when i was in labour i was waiting in a semi private room with another lady who was one of these mother who was going 'natural' because in her words 'pain relief is just plain cheating and evil' she chuntered on about it for yonks about how 'natural' was the way to go and she wouldn't be caught dead having even paracetamol during her delivery....

I was in the room next door to her when i was delivering as was she and she ended up with an epidural as she gave birth to an 11lb baby breech.

She wasn't so smug sfterwards.

lulumama that is the 1st time I've recognised a namchanger from the content of their post
need morecoffee

I shall soon be asking for donations to fund a spelling course.
Please dig deep.

agre??
physicaly??

My MW actually said something which made a lot of the women at the parentcraft classes (yes, I went to those stupid things...) feel a lot better.

"Take the drugs, no one will be handing out medals if you don't"

(She of course went over the complications that could come with it and told us she personally thought that epidurals were sometimes more harm than good)

is that a good thing, SMB?

NMC< i know you had a horrific experience, your MWs from what you have said, were not attentive at the right moments, and that is terrible. and am sorry that the people who enouraged you to go for a VBA3C were not there to support you when your daughter was injured and so ill after birth.

I found that most people were very sympathetic about my first (horrendous and medicalised) birth experience. I did have a couple of the "oh, what should have done was hypnobirthing/active labour/yoga/etc etc" types, who were very when I pointed out that I had done all those things and still everything had gone wrong. But they were in the minority. And I think that's a case of those who have easy births (no matter how they did it - active/hypno/epidural/whatever) not understanding that the position of the baby and the pelvis of the mother are critical in a lot of deliveries.

I am glad that I had a natural childbirth with no intervention for my second delivery, as I felt as though I was in control (and not the doctors) and the recovery has been much easier.

I am the same person that I was at my first delivery though, and I used the same techniques to get through labour, and I tried just as hard. So it would be silly of me to think that I was "better" as I did it naturally this time around.

Sorry to hear about your m/c pruners. My first mc was also terribly painful. I thought I was going to die. It's different from a live birth isn't it?

One of our good friend's husbands said to me after my SC that his missus was in a similar situation to me during her homebirth with their DD2. He also told me that he just told her to try harder and she did and they had DD2.

Sadly I did encounter this attitude re my section more than once. I did try to explain to those arseholes non believers that 4 1/2 days of labour and 3 1/2 hrs pushing before failed foreceps/ suction then necessitated (sp?) a section. My DD was well and truly STUCK. And thanks to the 'try harderers', I lived with huge amounts of guilt re my effort levels until I had DS. It is terrible to have people make you feel like you were at 'fault'.

Sorry- I obviously know LOTS of stupid people

3 caesareans, morphine, home quickly. 3 lovely children. Not everyone's choice (medical reasons for the first one), but I do not understand some women (not on this thread) need to criticise. every birth is individual - just like every woman. We all need good information, and good support, whatever we choose/or happens.By the way - I really enjoyed 2 of the births, really didn't enjoy one of them, so overall fine.

i only gave birth naturally becausei laboured quickly, with dd i screamed for pain relief but couldnt get it, and ds just slipped out ............

but.....

i did not want an epidual cos i was to scared about getting a needle in my spine and if i had to get a CS i wanted a general, there was no way i was lying awake while they rumaged about inside me.

I only had natural births because i am a coward and scared of medical intervention.

NMC, that is ...well, no words can describe

Those people are idiotic@THW

I have been very lucky. I have only ever had sympathy and support re: the birth of my son. I can't imagine very being judgy or smug or dictatorial to another woman over something as intensely personal and sensitive as childbirth.

I think there is a movement towards women reclaiming the birth experience as their own without unneccessary medical intervention. Surely this is a good thing.
I don't think anyone would argue against emergency caesaarians that save lives, would they?

I have never heard a mother belittling another woman for having complications.

No gas and air no pain relief offered possibile epidural between 8-8 mon - fri . No doulas, no birthing pools, balls to bounce on . And thats giving birth in a major European city.... Each to their own I would have loved some pain relief - don't see myself as a better or worse person I have dc 2 to deliver in the same place I have no choice as logistics of getting to another hospital are impossible.
You should do what is right for you !

I had a very quick birth, but the pain was immense and I requested an epidural AND a caesarian, I wasn't allowed either because I was so close to delivering. Despite having an nct style birth plan which stated that I wanted to have a totally natural birth with no pain relief or intervention, when the pain kicked in, I would have taken anything they'd have given me and am endlessly thankful that I was lucky, and I mean lucky, not strong, or brave!!!
I do feel very sorry fopr people who had a hard time, there seems to be such a lot of pressure to have a natural birth, and understand that some people feel like they have failed in having pain relief or intervention.

This does happen. I was in a heavily controlled labour due to pre-eclapsia, eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. In walks my mother eyes my epidural and wires to my heart etc and informs the midwife that she had no pain relief at all when she had me with a smug look on her face.
The midwife looked her straight in the eye and said,SO???

I don't care how other people give birth. I don't understand why anyone does care whether other people have drugs or not, or cares anything at all about how the rest of the world gives birth.

I only cared about how I gave birth. For all I care, the rest of the world can do it on top of a mountain with julie andrews spinning round and singing for them, while they suck on hallucinogenic frogs and stare at pictures of gordon brown in naked, erotic poses.

I seem to be saying I don't give a shit what other people do, ever such a lot these days. I wonder if it comes across as uncaring.

Sometimes it isn't about what people say, but about what you hear, if you see what I mean.

I had an emCS after having hoped for a natural birth (gas and air at most, I thought). I was ok with it at the time, in fact happy that my dd was born happy and healthy and that I was OK too.

Afterwards, though, when I heard other women talking about their pride and happiness with their birth experiences, I heard 'you didn't give birth, chibi you loser. You should have tried harder'.

My own expectations of what birth would be like and the less than great experience that I had in fact had a bigger impact on me than I realised. It took a lot of time before some of the rawness of my experience healed, and I needed to talk it over too - a v kind mnetter helped with this.

What I'm saying, was that no one was smugging at me, but I was using innocent comments etc as a stick to beat myself with.

eww at gordon brown.

don't give me that, I've SEEN your gordo-porn stash, you dirty hoaarre!